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Where I Reveal JUST HOW SERIOUSLY I Take My Saltine Crackers

November 12, 2010 by 15 Comments

It’s Friday night, the kids are tucked in. I have a cold that has taken residence in my face and my throat – which is fine because I make that phlegm-rattle sound way cuter than it really is. Desperate for a snack, I go to the cupboard, grab a box of saltines and rip open a sleeve to sit down with a stack of crackers and back-to-back-to-back episodes of 30 Rock on Netflix.

And then I shove a cracker in my mouth.

And it’s not good.

UGH.

Now, I’m not one of those people who merely keeps saltines on hand for when I am sick. I really like saltines. And even though I know that they have High Fructose Corn Syrup (which is evil! Evil, I say!), I just can’t quit the saltines. And yes, I have a preferred brand which you know is the result of extensive saltine research. These things must be taken seriously.

Because I eat so many saltines, I’d like to think my palette is refined enough to detect subtle saltine nuances between one box and another – but that probably isn’t true. It seems that there are two different options for a box of Premiums: REALLY REALLY GOOD and EW WHAT IS THIS AND WHY AM I EATING THIS?

This box? It’s the latter. It’s not horrible. It’s just not great. And I guess – because I am overthinking things AS I DO – I want to know why. Why is one box so good that I can’t stop eating them until the whole box is gone and why another seems destined for a life ground up in soups to hide the flavor?

[Note: You are feeling a little sorry for me already, aren’t you, for just how much thought I have devoted to the lowly saltine – but don’t feel sorry for me. Oh no.]

Clearly, the next step was to email Nabisco.

I’m sure they will see that email Monday morning and wonder what the hell is wrong with that woman in Michigan who emailed them on a Friday night about the taste of their crackers. It’s a little neurotic, I know. I own it, I’m okay with that.

But, I’m kind of looking forward to their answer. And I’m REALLY REALLY hoping they tell me how to avoid the dud boxes. You won’t be laughing at me then, Internet. Not when I always have a stock of the best saltines EVER in my cupboard and you have the icky ones. I’ll have the last laugh. Just you wait.

Filed Under: Eats

Thursday Ten: Best Sister Ever Edition

November 11, 2010 by 3 Comments

1. This morning, I accompanied my sister to have a hysterosalpingogram done. Basically, if you ever need to go have contrast dye injected into your lady bidness to check out the awesomeness of your fallopian tubes, I’m your go-to gal for moral support. Fortunately, I was armed with Casey’s excellent post (AND DONUTS!), so I knew what to expect for my sister and even though SHE was too scared to read Casey’s Excellent Post, it’s okay. I read it enough for both of us. As it is, she’s fine! Her fallopian tubes are fine! Life is good.

2. On the way to her appointment, we stopped at Starbucks (What? Like you’re surprised?) and I got my first gingerbread latte of the season. And it wasn’t good. This is probably a good thing for me because, well, all that sugar. And all that milk. Way to ruin a good thing.

3. My song of the day is “Drumming Song” by Florence + the Machine. It’s been in my music library for awhile, but shuffle brought it my way today and I’ve listened to it four times now.

4. I actually really loved Glee this week. I hate the themed episodes with a passion (Yes. Even the Rocky Horror night), so it was nice to see the music worked around a plot versus the other way around for a change. Oh, and awesome to see Chris Mann warbling it up as Warbler Number Six.

5. I placed an order with Sephora to catch the tail end of the Friends & Family sale last week – and ordered a sample of Bvlgari Aqva – it’s a men’s cologne (I don’t think I realized it when I ordered it). But it smelled so good – I have a feeling that I will be getting this for Hubby. It smells fantastic. It was so easy to pick a cologne for him and yet… I remain perfumeless. Why is it so difficult to pick a perfume for MYSELF?

6. I came back from forty-five minutes of cardio and sat down with a slice of cold pizza. Self-defeating, much?

7. The Princess is now severely addicted to Cake Boss and has been sketching designs for her birthday cake (only six months early). “Don’t worry mom, I can TOTALLY tier a cake,” she tells me. I sure hope so, because I know I can’t!

8. I currently have iTunes randomly shuffling through all the 90s music in my library. You should do this. Currently listening to “Hello Jupiter” from Tori Amos’s “Boys For Pele” album. I remember buying this album when it came out – I was living in Ann Arbor, and I bought it at midnight from a record store on State Street. The album cover showed Tori nursing a piglet, if I’m remembering right. (But my gosh, I still love this song – “But sometimes I breathe you in and I know you know…”)

9. Best message today was from someone asking the best way to send me a box of salted caramels. That will be tough to beat. Unless you want to send me two boxes of salted caramels, in which case YOU WIN!

10. Happy Veteran’s Day. If you have served or are serving our country – thank you so much!

Filed Under: Mom Shtuff, music, Thursday Ten Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

TIL Tuesday (On A Wednesday): Okay to Wake Alarm Clock

November 10, 2010 by 3 Comments

I know, I know… It’s Wednesday not Tuesday – but you’ll forgive me. Someday. I hope. If you aren’t grudge holders.

You’re not grudge-holders, are you?

Anyway, the past few weeks have been a little chaotic around here, but I wanted to take a few minutes to share with you a product that I REALLY dig, that I have been truly grateful for. It is something I purchased on my own, for myself, outta my own pocket. No one is paying me to say nice things about it – which is why I’m using an affiliate link – because you’ll want one, and I’ll take the Amazon kickbacks… yeah. Six cents at a time, baby.

I’m talking about the OK to Wake! Children’s Alarm Clock and Nightlight.

When I saw the price tag (just under thirty smackeroos), I hesitated. And then I remembered just how much I love sleep and just how much I loathe being woken up before six a.m.

You see, Pumpkin is a morning person. From the day she was born, making her grand debut at 5:53 a.m., there have been VERY few days where she’s slept past 6. She’s five now, so you can imagine JUST HOW TIRED I AM. To me, it’s a psychological thing. If you wake me at 6:01, I’m fine. 5:59? All day long I’ll groan about how I was up before six.

What this clock does is allow parents to set a time at which it’s okay for the child to wake them up. When that time comes, the clock glows. The kid knows it’s okay to wake up mom and dad, and if she’s anything like MINE, she’s in there right on the nose.

But that’s okay.

Since getting this clock a week ago, I have gotten to sleep until at least 6 every day. I EVEN GOT MY EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP ON SUNDAY. Oh yes.

I did.

So the way I see it, the clock has already paid for itself. Plus, it’s kind of cute and she feels like a big kid with her very own clock.

Filed Under: Mom Shtuff, Things I Love Tagged With:

Weekly Winners – Knocked Up Edition

November 7, 2010 by 11 Comments

This week admittedly won’t go on record as being one of the most fabulous weeks but one of the things that kept me chugging along was knowing I had my FIRST family and maternity photo session booked for Saturday. I was somewhat nervous – fortunately, the subject is a friend of my sister’s and someone I have known (on a surface level, at least) for over a year.

Because honestly? I was kind of nervous.

Also, finding inspiration for maternity shots when you and your subject would both rather not shoot naked maternity shots (particularly OUTDOORS on a VERY COLD November day in Michigan!)? It’s kind of tough.  But below are two of my favorite shots from the shoot.

I know, EVERYONE does the "heart on the belly" picture. But... I don't think it's cliche. I think it's adorable. Love that baby belly.

The mom-to-be's son was really reluctant to touch his mom's belly - as in, mom says he wants nothing to do with it. So, this moment was a sweet one for her. And for me too.

For more weekly winners, head on over to visit Lotus.

Filed Under: Photography Tagged With: , , ,

Thursday Ten: The Inordinately Annoyed By Charlie Sheen Edition

November 4, 2010 by 5 Comments

1.  I flipped on the tv this morning and hit “The Today Show” and the first story I caught was pertaining to Charlie Sheen and his current debacle. Apparently, he’s hired a “sober coach” to keep him from drinking or doing drugs. Now,  I’m not an addiction counselor  but I don’t really think that THAT is how you kick an addiction. Making someone else responsible for your actions? Pfffft, Charlie. I’m not sure how he’s still news. I’m also not sure how he seems to be like Teflon, acting like a big jerk and yet it all rolls right off him and he continues to make one of the worst shows on television.

2. On Halloween, Pumpkin was wearing a glow stick bracelet. When she bent it to see if she could make it glow harder, it broke – spewing glow juice (whatever it really is) into her eyes. While someone pointed out to me on Facebook that for the most part glow sticks are non-toxic, I will say this – it hurt her. A lot. It burns and it stings. I’ve heard this also from a few peeps whose kids have mistaken their glow sticks for food. We ended up talking to Poison Control and after flushing her eyes out with warm water for fifteen minutes, she was pretty much okay. What a relief.

3. That whole glow stick fiasco did encourage me to make sure I had the Poison Control phone number programmed into my cell phone for quick access in emergency. The number is 1-800-222-1222. You may want to take a minute and add it as well.

4. This weekend I am doing my first maternity photo shoot. The subject is a friend of my sister’s and I have been scouring photography websites for inspiration. Do you know how hard it is to find maternity photos that aren’t nude? I wouldn’t have thought so but…whoa. Since that’s not really what the mom-to-be is going for, we’ve been able to find a few more appropriate ideas. Thank goodness.

5. I have a migraine today. Or a headache. Or a face-ache. I don’t know. This weather makes me hurty in the head.

6. My kids have hidden their Halloween candy. I’m not sure where it is, as I looked all over. I think they’re both grounded.

7. The finale of Project Runway last week. Whuuuuut? I was not happy with Gretchen’s win AT. ALL. and I found their repeated crowing of how “wearable” her designs were to be a bit annoying. I can’t imagine wearing her flimsy tissue granny panties ANYWHERE.

8. I have been doing insane amounts of Christmas shopping. Insane equals picking up Betty Crocker frosting flavored lip gloss for the girls’ stockings. FROSTING FLAVORED LIP GLOSS. Amazing, right?

9. Started learning Eve 6 in guitar this week and that’s been fun. It’s been awhile since I last did anything with power chords and it’s good to go back over it – I learn something, don’t use it and then forget it. So, I’m trying to find it again.

10. It’s been a tremendously stressful week but tomorrow is Friday and it’s donut day for me and the girls. I love having a special family tradition to look forward to at the end of each week. It’s almost Friday, y’all. How has YOUR week been?

Filed Under: Mom Shtuff, Photography, Thursday Ten

I Voted and All I Got Was This Lousy Sticker*

November 3, 2010 by 1 Comment

Yesterday was election day. I’m sure in the weeks/months leading up to yesterday, you were inundated (AS I WAS) with political ads, brochures, yard signs and people (many MANY people) stressing to you the importance of doing your civic duty and voting.

You didn’t come here for political commentary or at least, I’m hoping you didn’t. I mean, this is me we’re talking about. There are bloggers who spend hours each day following every detail of every policy and are more versed to speak to the minutiae of everything that transpired yesterday. I’m not one of those bloggers. I just wanted to say a few things about yesterday’s election. If you want hard data, facts, statistics? You’re going to have to find one of those other bloggers. I’ll be back to talking about cookies and Project Runway tomorrow.

Some of you know that I tend to lean a leeeetle tiny bit more to the liberal side (okay, it’s a huge lean). As you can imagine, I’m not 100% enthused over some of the election results.

HOWEVER.

I am curious to see what is in store, and I honestly hope for good things.

I wouldn’t want to see ANYONE fail. I hope these newly-elected peeps – even the ones I didn’t vote for – I hope they thrive, and do great things and make a positive change for the better of MOST people. I am not one to wish for their failure, or to rub my hands and cackle evilly when someone falters. Why? Because that SUCKS. It sucks for the country, and it trickles down and sucks for all of us.

So, I’m hoping these people that I put into office and these people that you put into office and these people that your neighbor put into office can find a way to work together. I’m not saying I expect them to join hands across the aisles and start singing “Kumbaya” (though I bet it would make things a lot more fun to watch), but I’m an idealistic sort, and I hope that at least some of these people really meant it when they promised they wanted to help people, they wanted to help their country.

And both sides of that so called aisle are guilty of not doing what they promised, of talking out of both sides of their mouth, of being such stereotypical politicians that makes people wary and angry with the system.

I hope they stop it.

Have I mentioned that I’m an idealistic sort?

And maybe a little bit stupid?

Well, yeah.

And then? I hope when the next election cycle rolls around, Jane Doe can run for office on the platform of why SHE is right for office rather than why her opponent is wrong. She can sell her assets to us without slamming my mailbox every day with multiple brochures, killing the trees and my patience with every mailing.

But even if she doesn’t. Even if she hones her pitching arm with mudslinging the next time around, I’ll still be at the polls exercising my right to vote. And waiting for my sticker.

*Actually, the sticker is pretty awesome, right?

Filed Under: Do Good Feel Good Tagged With: ,

Flip Side – Baby, It’s (Getting) Cold Outside

November 2, 2010 by 6 Comments

It’s only the first week of November but already, I’m less than enthused with the weather and tired of being cold. I wake up and dread getting out from under the warmth of my covers. I REALLY dread when the dog stands by the door needing to go outside at 6 a.m. to do his business – there’s FROST ON THE LAWN, puppy! Do you really need to pee now? Apparently he does.

I don’t like winter coats. They’re bulky and I feel like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Lady when I’m wearing one. From the first frost until the weather breaks in spring, I wear vests. I have several. They don’t keep me nearly warm enough. Oddly enough, the vests are quite puffy too. Defeats the purpose, right?

It’s November 2 and I’m already tired of being cold. So today’s picture is me being underwhelmed with Michigan weather. BOO! COLD WEATHER, I ABHOR THEE! I think it may be time to relocate to the tropics. Or the west coast. Either, or.

Go catch Linney or Kat for more Flip Side fun.

Filed Under: Photography Tagged With:

Thursday Ten: Just Give Me All Your Snickers And No One Gets Hurt Edition

October 28, 2010 by 7 Comments

1. So, yeah it’s nearly Halloween and the school Halloween parties are beginning this afternoon and I’m somewhat underwhelmed because I don’t dig Halloween. If I had to choose whether or not I’d celebrate Halloween or Flag Day – I’d choose Flag Day. I’m not sure what it is about Halloween that makes me so scroogey, but I don’t love it. I do love Snickers, though. And Peanut Butter cups. And Twix. Also: Skittles, Starburst, Peanut M&Ms. You can keep your Smarties, Whoppers, and assorted suckers.

2. Speaking of Halloween… What’s up with Trick-Or-Treating on Saturday? Not only is that NOT Halloween, but… The Michigan game comes on at 8. T-or-T should be over at 8, but those straggler kids interrupting the game? Not a good thing. (Who am I kidding? I’ll have turned our porch light off by 7 after dumping the last half of the candy bowl in some kid’s bag just for the sole purpose of being “done” with it all!)

3. I still love my green purse. It’s pretty. Lots of hugs and virtual love after that last post and I appreciate it so much. Thank you.

4. Trying to decide what song to learn next in guitar – looking for things in the Key of E to correspond with the chords I’ve been trying to learn. I think the winner may be Eve 6’s “Inside Out” (aka “the heart in a blender” song).

5. I bought some dry shampoo at Sephora the other day – the point is to somewhat extend the life of your blown out hair without being dirty and greasy. Well, the stuff I bought smells like old ladies. It works. But it reeks. DO. NOT. RECOMMEND. I’ll have to keep trying to find something else.

6. I started Christmas shopping over the weekend. Oh yes. I started with some clothes for the girls from Old Navy – they had some decent sales — particularly on pajama pants. So, I guess I’ve started shopping. With Christmas less than two months away, I figured it was time to get started. I hate feeling rushed.

7. Right now, my iPod has shuffled me to Bon Jovi. I haven’t skipped forward to the next song. Don’t judge.

8. Some new (to me) music I’m listening to this week: “Just a Dream” by Nelly and “Killing Me” by Graham Colton Band. And since I said last week that I was not a fan of Eminem and Lil Wayne and “No Love”… it’s grown on me. I woke up at 3:45 with it stuck in my head.

9. Yes. I’ve basically been up since 3:45. With Eminem in my head. No, I’m not tired… YET. Boy, I can’t wait for the exhaustion to kick in. THAT IS GOING TO BE SUPER FUN!

10. I arrived at the restaurant for book club fifteen minutes early last night. I sat in my car for awhile, and then went into the restaurant for awhile to wait for the rest of the ladies. And waited. I sat in the bar watching ESPN in Spanish and waited some more. Finally, when everyone was ten minutes late, I checked the location in my email. And realized I was at the wrong restaurant. Awesome. I finally met up with everyone – and didn’t even miss any of the book chat. (Next month’s book: “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” – I’ve already read it, but I’m game for hanging out and talking about Lisbeth while eating breadsticks).

Filed Under: Books and Stuff, Mom Shtuff, music, Thursday Ten Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

A Purse Never Gave Me Heartburn

October 25, 2010 by 9 Comments

In the past several months as things have gotten a bit more chaotic in life, several people have told me how well they believe me to be holding up “under the circumstances”. Well, sure. I guess.

I’m a logical person. I am a details person. I like to try to figure out all the possible detours between points A and B, and figure out just how those detours will be navigated. I am a problem-solver, by nature.

But, I have a breaking point.

This weekend, I hit that breaking point like a speeding car hitting a brick wall at 120 mph. Don’t worry, I was wearing my seatbelt and my airbag deployed — but there was still some injury. There was some hurt. And maybe, just maybe… there was a burst of the so-called “ugly cry” (And if you look pretty crying, I DON’T WANT TO KNOW YOU. If you look pretty when you hit your breaking point, perhaps you just aren’t trying hard enough. I kid. Sort of.)

Fortunately, one of the ways I get by each day – even when all is groovy and roses and unicorns – is working out. When life gets stressful, I don’t stop. When I’m walking or running, the rhythm of my feet forms a cadence that somehow aids my brain into problem solving. Sometimes it lulls me into thinking about something else. It’s a good thing.

But, Friday’s frazzled nature meant that I poured myself a drink. And I drank it. Then I promptly got dizzy and tired and fell asleep before even reading twenty pages of my book.

And then Saturday – well, at some point Saturday I had lost one of my earrings. My grandmother gave me these earrings. I have been wearing them almost daily since receiving them as a gift before she died. They weren’t fancy – small, simple sterling silver hoops. Low maintenance – I could put them in and forget about them. For over 15 years, that’s what I did.

Saturday evening as I felt my earlobe while washing my hair, I noticed its absence. And the floodgates opened.

I sobbed and cried and sniffled and snorted.

Then I ate half a bag of Garden Salsa SunChips, went to bed and woke up with excruciating heart burn at 4:30 in the morning. [Lesson learned: Sun Chips are awesome. In moderation. Half a bag? NOT moderation]

Sunday, I woke up feeling heavy hearted and bloated (all that sodium, yo), but resolved that I would go to the mall and try to find a pair of earrings. They wouldn’t, couldn’t, be the same. But maybe I could find something.

Well… I found the exact same earrings. The EXACT SAME. They were marked down on an amazing JC Penney sale, and so then? I bought a purse too. A purse nearly the shade of green apples that I so adore. And then? I went to Sephora and tried many fragrances and picked up some dry shampoo. And then? Panera for a toasted bagel. And then? The grocery store for some apples because the kids wanted some and I will always make an extra stop when the kids want fruit – and did I mention how much I love the color of green apples?

My mom said to me Saturday when I was so upset, that my grandmother was watching me from above – smiling down at me. “Can she throw me a pair of earrings?” I replied jokingly. But, even though I’m not necessarily one to believe in “signs”, I half wonder if somehow, someway the universe was telling me to slow down and to give myself a break. Perhaps, retail therapy isn’t the most effective way of dealing with struggles, but it did make me treat myself to a little sunshine during a virtual rain. And yeah, that purse? It makes me tremendously happy. With that joyful color, how could it not?

Filed Under: Mom Shtuff Tagged With: ,

Thursday Ten: Thinking Pink Edition

October 21, 2010 by 1 Comment

1. Today, my girls are dressed in pink from head to toe for a breast cancer awareness day at school – and in that spirit, we made some pink ribbon cookies yesterday (these are some of the prettier ones). In the spirit of all things pink, my goal is to raise $150 towards my Avon Walk goal by the end of the week. It’s a small goal – and any donation helps. If you would like to donate – even a dollar – please click HERE. I may just send you a cookie for donating.

2. While I type this, I have hair dye working its magic to (hopefully) eradicate the gray hairs that have become so obnoxious since all this stressful stuff going on with my stepson. It’s true – in times of stress, the gray hairs really seem to multiply for me. I hate this vanity about gray hair. I really dig my natural hair color – and hate covering it up because I don’t want gray hair.

3. In guitar class this week, my teacher brought up another Kansas song – “Carry On My Wayward Son” because she likes the riffs at the beginning. The last Kansas song she stuck me with was “Dust in the Wind” – and they are harder for me to learn because I’m not TOTALLY familiar with the songs (except the chorus of “Wayward Son” – but I think that’s the only part anyone really knows).

4. Did you wear purple yesterday? I loved the prevalence of purple on Facebook and Twitter – and while I know that there are always going to be bullies, I think a great step we can take, particularly those of us who are parents, is to let our kids know that bullying isn’t okay – and that our differences is what makes the world a pretty freakin’ cool place. I may be an idealistic hippy-dippy idiot (Okay, I probably am) – but I think just embracing those things about us which make us who we are is a great start.

5. In a fit of nostalgia the other day, I picked up a bottle of Mr. Bubble for Pumpkin who loves taking bubble baths. I love the smell of Mr Bubble. I’ve given serious consideration to swiping her bottle and using it for myself!

6. Last week’s Project Runway somewhat boggled my mind – given the direction to find inspiration in NYC, the remaining designers took off. Two sought inspiration from The Brooklyn Bridge, one from the Lower East Side, one from Lady Liberty and one from Central Park. The Central Park design? It was black and edgy and what-the-what? That doesn’t say CENTRAL PARK. Not to me, anyway. CP was my favorite part of my trip to NYC in April and I find it kind of mind boggling that someone spent any time there and came up with … that.

7. I finally finished reading Little Bee. Fabulously crafted, well done. I really enjoyed it… far more than I thought I would. Check it out.

8. This week’s new music…I’ve just added “Gotta Have You” by the Weepies to my music library, as well as that new Cee Lo Green “F*ck You” song (can’t help but love it). I also downloaded “No Love”, the Eminem/Lil Wayne collaboration and realized… I don’t love Lil Wayne.  And the folks at MuseBox have hit me up with a link to some new music to check out. You can give it a listen Here.

9. Finally saw “The Social Network” last weekend. Hm. You know, I have mixed feelings about the movie and haven’t read much of the press to determine how true they were to representing Mark Zuckerberg. Frankly, he was TIRING.  I don’t know how Jesse Eisenberg managed to spit out dialogue like he did – but sheesh.

10. My hair ended up kind of dark (Oh yes. I took a three hour break in writing this post, btw.) It’s alright. It’s darker than I wanted, but… I don’t see any stupid gray hair. Which is good.

Filed Under: Books and Stuff, Do Good Feel Good, Eats, Mom Shtuff, music, Thursday Ten Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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