Thursday Ten: Sheltered in Place Edition

  1. It’s been a very long time since I’ve written here and I told myself that one of my goals for this week would be to try to start writing again – someway, somehow. So here I am, reviving this space – at least for today. I have missed writing. I’m not sure I have something to say that’s different from anything the rest of you are saying right now, but here I am anyway.
  2. It’s been nearly a month since the shelter in place order became a reality in Michigan. And for now, we’re two weeks away from a review of the status. Will it be lifted or extended? I have a hard time feeling optimistic, if I’m being totally honest. I want to believe any little glimmer of hope I can hang on to, but I also know that even if the SIP order is lifted, we’re a long way from the sort of normal we used to know. I wonder what that will look like when it happens.
  3. I’m lucky to be working from home and I know that so many people aren’t as lucky. I’m working hard right now – and long hours. I read a stat yesterday that said that although the stereotype is that people who are working from home are hanging out and watching Netflix, the actuality is that they are often working longer hours because it’s tough to turn work “off.” And this is without the benefit of being able to gab with coworkers off and on throughout the day for a breath of fresh air —though we are making use of Slack and Zoom like the rest of the world. (Sidenote: I hate Zoom. You know it’s a Zoom meeting day when my hair isn’t in a ponytail.)
  4. Oh yeah, I’ve let it all go. Most days, I’m wearing leggings and a sweatshirt. In the past month, I’ve bought two pair of joggers, gotten several pair of leggings, and while I”m comfortable, it’s a whole look. I mean, I’ve taken to doing squats and pushups during the day, so I need pants that move with me, but frankly I’m not sure how I’m ever going to get used to wearing real pants all the time again.
  5. There’s some struggles here as well, though. One of the biggest challenges through all of this is that The Princess, in her senior year of high school, is missing EVERYTHING. There will be no prom, who knows when the graduation ceremony will be, and basically, they’re done with school already. All that’s left is AP tests and her online class. Yeah, she had her last day of high school ever and didn’t even know it. It stinks to have come this far and to have worked so hard, and to lose all of those milestones for this year. And already, college orientation will be a virtual event instead of a weekend at her future college… and that’s a bummer, too. It all just sucks and I’m sad for her and the rest of the class of 2020.
  6. I have already watched all of “Tiger King” (ugh) and am currently binging “All American.” What are you watching while stuck at home? I’m also three episodes into “Little Fires Everywhere” but somehow keep forgetting about Hulu so I may never finish.
  7. I’m not reading as much as I would like to be, though. Trying.
  8. All the races have been canceled but I’m trying to keep my mileage up. Another perk of working from home? Being able to hit the treadmill for a lunchtime 5k.
  9. Another fun gem for staying at home? Cards Against Humanity Family Edition. You’ll get a hand cramp cutting all the cards out but it’ll be worth it.
  10. Dang, I really did plan to use all my vacation time this year. Don’t think that’s gonna happen. Sigh. I’ve already missed out on a trip I was very much looking forward to (and four days off), so… I think I’m going to take tomorrow off. I’m not going anywhere or doing anything, because… stay home… but a day may do some good.

Thursday Ten: This Must Be a Ragnover edition

  1. I have a ragnover. I didn’t know this word until earlier in this week, but this is what I have and I don’t know when it will subside because it’s pretty fierce. A week ago, I was filled with nerves on the eve of the start of my first ever Ragnar Relay, and here I am, less than a week after crossing the finish line so ready to do it all over again.
  2. We went to Arizona to run Ragnar del Sol. Arizona in February was a brilliant idea. Flew away from winter towards sunshine and cacti. Bliss.
  3. I was completely overcome with nerves before we hit the starting line. My training hadn’t gone as I had planned, and though I knew that my legs of the relay maxed out at about six miles per, I had been hoping to have more mileage in the bank before the weekend. Unfortunately, shin splints + real life consumed several months of autumn for me and I just started late. I had prepped as well as I could, but I was still convinced that I should have more miles, that I would be hurting.
  4. I was runner six in van one – which meant that even once we got started, I had to watch five teammates get out there and kick some serious butt before it was my turn. I was so eager to get started! When it was my turn, I took off way too fast for the heat, and while I ended up getting a PR for those first two miles (according to Garmin), I was not looking great three miles in. I was hot. I was tired. And I didn’t want to run anymore. I was so mad at myself for how I felt – and I was feeling deflated. I let myself down.
  5. That pace ended up being about 12 seconds per mile faster than my predicted time – so it wasn’t a fail. And when I crossed the finish line sweaty and goosebumpy, my team steered me towards the shade and brought me a cold can of coconut water to drink. It helps. (I would not have enjoyed this experience if I hadn’t had such an awesome team – if you’re going to spend 30+ hours in a van, make sure you like the people.)
  6. Waiting for our next legs seemed to fly. Our van two was a team we didn’t know, and so when they were running, we ate dinner, changed clothes, and all that good stuff. In retrospect, maybe we could have made a better use of our time (Sleeping might have been a good idea), but it’s hard to when you’re all keyed up and ready to just GO GO GO.
  7. I ran my second leg, accompanied by members of my team (I told you they were great) at midnight. I’ve never run at midnight before. All I could think about for some reason was a milkshake…
  8. According to my Fitbit, I didn’t sleep at all during the Relay. I believe it.
  9. Not sure how I find the energy for the third leg – which was hilly and crazy. When I approached the finish, I was so excited to see the team waiting and ready to run to the finish and turn things over to van two to get things done. It wasn’t my fastest pace ever – but I felt SO GOOD about that stretch. I felt STRONG.
  10. I didn’t expect to love the Ragnar experience as much as I did, but oh my gosh, it was amazing. Already planning out the next one? You better believe it.

Thursday Ten: The Holidays are a Kick in the Teeth Edition

  1. Beyond grateful that a friend encouraged me to go try her kickboxing class last night because I was ragey and snappy with energy to burn and it’s far too cold to run outside right now. Jab, cross, hook, uppercut. It was like all my years of Tae Bo just came back to me. Getting to punch the instructor was kind of lovely too. I can be a fountain of negative energy at times, and yesterday was one of those days. My arms were jelly, my quads were on fire, and I felt pleased with myself when I was done. It was nice to have a legit means of punching someone. I’m pretty sure I’ll go back.
  2. How cold is it? It was minus nine degrees when I was driving to work yesterday. MINUS. NINE. DEGREES. That’s too cold.
  3. And that means it’s too cold to run outside. I’ll run outside in the cold and in freezing temps but not in negative temperatures. That’s really insane. And because it snowed so much on Christmas and then got super cold, there’s ice everywhere. I’m trying to stick with a training program for a Ragnar in 2018, and it’s tough when the weather doesn’t cooperate.
  4. People can be pretty disappointing, huh?
  5. The first Christmas without my brother was hard. I still can’t believe he’s not here – like there are times when I think to myself that it can’t be really, that maybe I imagined it, and then it’s all very real and he’s not there.
  6. It’s hit me hard how much loss my family has experienced in the past several years. It hardly seems fair. I used to have this huge family… and I don’t anymore. And that’s weird and it sucks and yesterday was the kind of day that in thinking about it made me want to just take off, go somewhere else, be somewhere else. Like, why am I even in Michigan? (Contrary to item number one, my instincts tend to lean more towards flight than fight).
  7. Not going to be sad to see 2017 go, gotta be honest. But I have decided I’m going to stop assuming that a new year will bring better things. Seems that hoping the new year will bring radically changes is the most surefire way to ensure that the universe is all “hold my beer” and throws another challenge at me. I AM SO OVER BEING CHALLENGED.
  8. I would really like to just spend a day wandering a bookstore with a cup of coffee and no where else I need to be.
  9. I would just like to sit down and finish a book again someday soon.
  10. I’ve been watching Party of Five on Netflix. I loved this show back in the day… not sure it’s aged well.

Thursday Ten: Another Half edition

  1. I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it. After a ten mile race in September, my shin splints went on overdrive and it huuuurt. I started physical therapy and basically put the kibosh on any significant miles in a concerted effort to let my leg rest and heal to prep for the Grand Rapids Half Marathon. It wasn’t pretty, but this Sunday, the day before my 41st birthday, I did it. I finished my second half marathon.
  2. It rained the whole time – and so it was pretty rough. My leg did start hurting again, and from the rain and mud puddles, I felt blisters (and I may well lose a toenail – sigh). I felt like a drowned rat. I pushed on.
  3. The last message I got from my brother before he died was a Facebook comment of how he was proud of me, proud of everything I do… and it was important for me to finish this race – for him. As the rain splashed down and the wind blew so hard, I looked up at the sky and thought to myself that it would figure that he would make it challenging for me. I didn’t quit. I didn’t give up. I kept going. And I so much hope he was proud of me still, somehow.
  4. It doesn’t get any easier to type or say those words – that he’s died. That he’s not here.
  5. My birthday was Monday and it was terrible. I know that was such a bummer to the people who care about me, that I was so bummed about my birthday but I had no spirit for it this year. At work they asked me if I had any big plans, and I said, “Welp, gonna go pick up my kid from gymnastics eventually.”
  6. When you run in the rain for a half marathon…eventually you’ll catch a cold. Apparently.
  7. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I want to close my eyes and wake up and have all the things that need doing be done.
  8. Next race on the calendar? Ragnar in 2018. My bucket list race. Gotta get these shin splints gone first, though.
  9. Sometimes I feel guilty talking about other things. That people will think I’ve forgotten.
  10. I cannot believe that it’ll be winter soon. Then Christmas. A new year. Where the hell did 2017 go?

Thursday Ten: Oh, NBD Only Ages Since My Last Post edition

  1. Yeah, so it’s September. The kids are back in school – they’ve been back for about three weeks already and summer went by and like… what?
  2. We went to California. The girls and I were there for a week – and traveled from the Bay Area down to Los Angeles. We put our feet in the ocean. We painted a mural in Santa Monica. We missed home a lot. We toured Hearst Castle. I only mildly panicked on the airplane (the panic was mild because I had the foresight to order a cocktail before the turbulence started – so lesson learned: always order a drink because you never know if the weather over Colorado could get bumpy).
      
  3. I’m about six or seven weeks out from my second half marathon. I’ve got four races this season – two of them are fairly short distances, then I’ve got a ten miler and then the half. I’m sort of ready to be done with training. I’ve got nearly 24 miles in September already…and it’s only the 7th. For some, that’s chump mileage, but for me that’s quite a lot. I think my muscles are going to need a rest after this… until the next thing comes along.
  4. There’s so much sucky stuff going on in the world right now. I cannot believe where we are politically – how is this even real life?
  5. Spent countless hours last weekend shopping for a homecoming dress for The Princess and hating the fashion industry immensely. When your daughter is a 5’8″ athlete in a sea of dresses designed for 5’2″ waifs, it becomes a very discouraging experience. We did end up finding a beautiful dress – one that fits her beautifully and isn’t too short (OH EM GEE, why do teens need dresses so short? EVERYTHING is so short). It was a brutal two days of shopping – lesson learned for next time.
  6. I spent Labor Day ripping some of the weeds out of a small plot in my front yard and planting forty tulip bulbs. I’m kind of excited for spring already (yeah, I’ve got a long winter ahead of me) to see if I did this right… because if I did? It’s gonna be amazing.
  7. Just binged “The Good Place” on Netflix. Not sure how I missed this, or what channel it was on before – but what a delightful and quick binge. (I’m afraid to google it because WHAT IF THEY NEVER MADE A SECOND SEASON OF IT?)
  8. I don’t really watch television much. THAT is how I missed it.
  9. Just kicked off year ten of my 365 project. Cannot believe that I’ve never missed a day yet – in just over nine years. In all the ways my life has changed over the years – that is one thing that has remained constant.
  10. The weather is becoming fall. My favorite time of year. I wish it lasted longer than a few weeks. I’m not ready for winter. At all. Ever. Nope. Do not want. But fall. Give me fall. All the fall.

Thursday Ten: Somehow it’s july edition

  1. I mean, really. July. How did that freaking happen. We already had the fourth of July and the week long annoyance of fireworks every night. It’s very nearly MID-JULY. Where is time going?
  2. I’m in the midst of week two of my half marathon training. Already I am seeing a massive difference in the two programs, and mostly in terms of the amount of miles I’m running. The downside is that though I’m racking up miles, they’re slow. This humidity doesn’t help my pace at all.
  3. I hit a record for the most miles run in a month in June. I’m on track to beat it in July. (Who am I?)
  4. Why does Netflix tell me three times to watch “Glow” and never thought to tell me there was another season of Grey’s to catch up on? (Anyway, totally been bingeing on Greys)
  5. Today I go to get my first mammogram. It’s just a routine exam because I’m (gasp) 40 years old now, and though the doctor ordered the test back in March I’m just now getting around to it. Apparently I can’t wear deodorant so I’m super stoked for the people in my office today. That should be fun given how hot it’s been outside…(I’m bringing body wipes. The thought of walking around all day with stinky arm pits makes me cringe.)
  6. I’m averaging less than six hours of sleep a night this week and I am FEELING it.
  7. My kids are with their dad this week so I literally ate peanut butter toast and cookies for dinner and I don’t really know how to force myself to cook for just myself. Seems a huge waste of time.
  8. One hundred days ago, I started a special photo project and it ended yesterday and after one hundred days of color I’ve gotta say… it was cool but I’m glad to only have one project going on right now. TWO is too many.
  9. There’s a stack of laundry to fold that just keeps growing every day. I don’t want to fold laundry. Ever.
  10. I just wish I could write more. I keep saying I want to but the fact is, I feel like a bit of a mess lately. There’s just too much going on. And this truly seems to be as much time as I can find to write. I remember when I used to write more, when it used to be such a big part of my life. I’m sad that it’s not anymore because I want it to be.

Thursday Ten: There’s A Million Things I Haven’t Done edition

  1. I used to be a better blogger. I wrote more often, and sometimes I was even amusing. These days, I can’t seem to get myself together to string a few words into a post and that makes me crazy because so much as happened since I last posted, things that all warrant a post of their own and here I am writing a Thursday Ten and let’s face it, a bullet point for these things is just not even enough.
  2. Working backwards, most recently been dealing with the stress of my brother being quite ill, in the hospital and intubated, unable to breathe on his own. I can start with this because yesterday they were able to take the tube out and he was able to breathe on his own, though he is raspy, coughs a lot, and is quite pissed at the world. (He also really would like to eat something but… yeah, that’s going to be awhile.) Not sure how he got so ill, and I’m not sure how it got so bad… but it was bad and now he’s on the mend, and there are probably some things that will have to change for the sake of his health. Scary things aren’t good – but I’m glad that at the very least, it might bring about some much needed change.
  3. I found out my brother was so ill on our way back from Chicago where we had just seen mother-freakin’ HAMILTON. It was absolutely everything EVERYTHING I dared hoped it would be. I am so glad to have gotten to share that with the girls and Chris. It was magic.
  4. It was SO magic that by the time they got to “Yorktown,” I was just in such awe that I started crying – it is one of my favorite songs in the musical, and everything was perfect: the music, the staging, the choreography. ALL OF IT. And I was thinking to myself, “Oh my god. I’m really here.” I’d go again in a minute. Worth every penny of the ticket prices…
  5. You know what else, y’all? I ran a half marathon! It was difficult and kind of scary, but I did it. I cried when I crossed the finish line. (I’m doing a lot of crying lately) I just was so damn proud of myself. I can do these things. I can set these goals.
  6. So… I signed up for another half. I’ve got five more months to train for it, but even though I thought I was “one and done,” I’m totally doing another half marathon and that just kind of blows my mind a bit.
  7. And then I signed up for a ten miler, too, because the timing was perfect so why the heck not? NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW.
  8. Before THAT? I went for my yearly appointment with the amazing team in Iowa and…it was good. Better than I could have hoped.
  9. See, you guys. There’s been so much stuff. And now the school year is almost over, my kid turns 15 in just over a week, and I’m a freaking half-marathoner, and you’ve missed it all because I’m not a good blogger.
  10. But. I miss writing. I have to do this more often. I do.

Thursday Ten: Probably Not Really Okay edition

  1. I am tired. Oh my god, am I tired. I am stressed out, exhausted, and easily made anxious by stuff that really shouldn’t be that big deal. I feel like a bit of a mess. I hate it.
  2. I would think that I should expect that dealing with the diagnosis of progressively failing vision might cause some amount of being massively bummed, but I wasn’t expecting it. And here it is. I am so bummed, so often. It is a phase I am going to have to pass in and out of, but in the meantime, as I wallow in it, I hate it and I am angry with myself and the universe.
  3. That’s probably a bit too much truthiness considering I haven’t posted in ages.
  4. The half marathon training is going pretty much okay except for the massive hip and knee pain. So I’ve also started physical therapy which has been an interesting adventure and ends up with experiences such as cringing as the therapist leans into my hip with her elbow in order to break up a massive knotted muscle. (THAT’S GONNA HURT.)
  5. But I ran nearly 20 miles last week, and…I’m doing it.
  6. I am on a mission to learn how to bake chocolate babka.
  7. I bought another pair of running shoes. I’m not sure I even need running shoes.
  8. The thing about having a busy brain is that I’m not getting enough sleep.
  9. Gymnastics season is now over for The Princess – so that’s a relief.
  10. Tell me something happy.

Thursday Ten: It’s Been A Little While

  1. I am not even gonna lie – 2017 was supposed to be better than 2016 and so far it really just isn’t. Life is busy, work is busy, weather is cold, president is terrifying. I’m exhausted all the time. I had a meltdown on Tuesday that had me in tears for an hour. I just don’t even know, man. So far, 40 can suck it.
  2. On a brighter side though, after saving for years, I finally had the 15 year old carpet from this house ripped out and replaced it with some super durable flooring that will be able to withstand dog barf and spilled milk. I haven’t wanted to do this for YEARS and was so excited to finally be able to pull the trigger on this project. It’s beautiful. And now the next thing is to ditch this beat up sofa… and figure out what of my existing furniture goes and stays. There’s my dog modeling the new floor in the picture below.
    Lucky on the new floor
  3. One thing at a time, Sarah.
  4. The thing about feeling so worn down is that I’m starting to feel as if I look worn down too. So this week I decided to subscribe to Beachbody on Demand – a streaming video service that lets you work out from home, streaming video to any of your screened devices, and offers up a variety of video options to choose from. Did my first workout yesterday – Cize. Wowza. Fun and intense and I was dripping with sweat by the time I was done. Can’t wait to try the next one.
  5. We’re expecting temps in the 50s this weekend. While this has felt a fairly mild winter compared to recent years, I’m still super stoked to get a sneak peek of spring.
  6. The warmer weather will help force me out the door for my runs – I’m training for a half marathon! For the first time, I’m using a program that incorporates speed intervals and tempo runs. The overall mileage is lower but i’m hoping they know what the heck they’re doing – that the speed runs will help me over all, so I can slog through 13.1.
  7. This Saturday is National Drink Wine Day.
  8. Next week is National Margarita Day. FYI, Margarita Day in February seems stupid timing.
  9. Why does the brain get louder at night time? I can be fine all day, but come 9:30, 10 p.m., my brain starts swirling and not in a good way.
  10. Reading the news, reading Twitter… it ain’t good. Every day it’s something new and it’s all awful. Tell me why people voted for that guy again?

Thursday Ten: Is It Over Yet edition

  1. Not going to lie, i’m ready for 2016 to be D-O-N-E. Yeah, it’s been a tough year, but beyond that? I’m just TIRED. So tired. Planning a bit of time off around the holidays and I think I need it.
  2. We’re expecting a bunch of snow today and you all know how I feel about that. We’re a week into December and we haven’t gotten slammed with snow yet so I probably don’t get to complain much – but I’m still not looking forward to it.
  3. I was looking forward to sharing with you guys the awesome stuff in my StrideBox subscription box which I recently signed up for… but according to the USPS website, it’s undeliverable due to an address problem. My first box was super cool – it’s got a lot of great treats for runners, but I’m bummed about this lack of service, and I’m hopeful they can resolve this error soon.
  4. Not that entirely matters – it’s way too dark most of the time for me to go running.
  5. I decided to treat myself to a Christmas present. I drank the KoolAid and bought myself an InstantPot. And since, I’ve been hesitant to take it out of the box or find recipes. I’m afraid I won’t love it like everyone says I will.
  6. Hairspray Live. Underwhelmed.
  7. I’ve been pretty lucky in the school game for my kids. Until now. Pumpkin has a teacher that I’m struggling with and she’s struggling with. I feel frustrated that this person has the ability to influence my daughter negatively about the subject matter she supposedly has the passion for that she chose to teach it.
  8. The Princess had AN AMAZING gym meet last week, earning her first 9.7 on floor – her highest score yet. SHe medaled on all four events and snagged the second place all around award. It was a good day.
  9. Less than three weeks until Christmas.
  10. I’ve now had a cold for nearly two weeks and I super miss being able to breathe through my nose.