Thursday Ten: Another Half edition

I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it. After a ten mile race in September, my shin splints went on overdrive and it huuuurt. I started physical therapy and basically put the kibosh on any significant miles in a concerted effort to let my leg rest and heal to prep for the Grand Rapids Half Marathon. It wasn’t pretty, but this Sunday, the day before my 41st birthday, I did it. I finished my second half marathon.
It rained the whole time – and so it was pretty rough. My leg did start hurting again, and from the rain and mud puddles, I felt blisters (and I may well lose a toenail – sigh). I felt like a drowned rat. I pushed on.
The last message I got from my brother before he died was a Facebook comment of how he was proud of me, proud of everything I do… and it was important for me to finish this race – for him. As the rain splashed down and the wind blew so hard, I looked up at the sky and thought to myself that it would figure that he would make it challenging for me. I didn’t quit. I didn’t give up. I kept going. And I so much hope he was proud of me still, somehow.
It doesn’t get any easier to type or say those words – that he’s died. That he’s not here.
My birthday was Monday and it was terrible. I know that was such a bummer to the people who care about me, that I was so bummed about my birthday but I had no spirit for it this year. At work they asked me if I had any big plans, and I said, “Welp, gonna go pick up my kid from gymnastics eventually.”
When you run in the rain for a half marathon…eventually you’ll catch a cold. Apparently.
I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I want to close my eyes and wake up and have all the things that need doing be done.
Next race on the calendar? Ragnar in 2018. My bucket list race. Gotta get these shin splints gone first, though.
Sometimes I feel guilty talking about other things. That people will think I’ve forgotten.
I cannot believe that it’ll be winter soon. Then Christmas. A new year. Where the hell did 2017 go?