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A Letter to My Daughter on Her 15th Birthday

May 28, 2017 by Leave a Comment

Dear Princess,

Happy birthday, missy. Fifteen. Wow. As I type this, there’s a letter for you on the counter from the local Driver’s Training place, so we’ve got that coming up. Soon, you’ll be taking lessons and then soon, I’ll get to hang out in the passenger seat while you drive me around places and get all the hours you need to get before you get your license, and I gotta say, I’m kind of looking forward to being chauffeured around. Well, I’m looking forward to it when I’m not feeling terrified… or old.

Your freshman year of high school is nearly over and… I think it’s been a good year. As the year comes to an end, I know you’re bummed that you’re getting a B in biology but I never worry about your grades because you’re a smart cookie and you work hard. You have adjusted to high school pretty well, and I’m ready to see what the next year has in store for you. You auditioned for (and made it!) to Honors Choir, so I look forward to more singing in the year ahead. You did a solo at your choir concert last weekend… your voice was so beautiful, and when you sang tears came to my eyes.

You have three weeks left of your rest from gymnastics – it’s been a tough road, I know, trying to recover from your injured clavicle-slash-shoulder-slash-‘part where the ribs meet the sternum.’ I know it’s been discouraging to not get to do anything when you go to practice, and that you’ve been afraid of losing your skills… and even that it’s been difficult to be in pain. But I have faith that you’ll be back at it in a few weeks, that you’ll recover and get back to where you were. You had an amazing season this year – so many medals, so many PR’s. I know it feels like you won’t get that back… but… I have faith.

You are organized and meticulous. You are bullet journals and to-do lists. Your room is clean and you like order. You’re a good helper, and I appreciate that. Sometimes I get very overwhelmed and you help me get out of my noggin and figure out what to do next. You’re super funny and I like when you send me texts.

I love that at night, you and your sister tuck a stuffed animal into my bed along with my book.

While I’m bummed that you’re not starting your birthday with me today, I’m looking forward to when you and your sister come home and we can celebrate with presents and brownie pie. It warmed my heart when you texted me last night, upset that your sister was spending the night at her friend’s, sad that she wouldn’t be at your dad’s with you when you wake up today. I loved that you wanted her there with you, but also that you recognized that it was a fun thing for her to get to hang out with a friend, and you let her be excited about her fun evening. And even though the two of you fight a lot, I know that you both have each other’s backs. As a mom, that makes me tremendously happy too.

You are my persister. Nevertheless. You challenge people to think outside of what they know, what is accepted. You don’t keep quiet. You don’t accept status quo. I love that you are the one other kids are afraid to argue politics with. I love that you make noise, that you think. You believe that the world could be and should be better, and I am so excited to see what you make of your life, and who you will become. Who you are already is pretty great.

You said you wanted to try a Couch to 5k. I know you may well hate running, but I look forward to running with you this summer. It makes me happy that you want to try. Maybe we’ll do a race and get matching medals.

Sigh.

Fifteen. Wow. Fifteen years ago, I held you in my arms and I became a mom, and now you are taller than me and just a few years away from college and what happened. When did I blink? How did the time pass so quickly? I’ve always been so excited at each new phase of your life, because watching you, your sister, blossom into these amazing people has been so rewarding, so great… but oh, now it’s going too fast. It could slow down a little, please.

This year will be full of phenomenal things for you, of that I am sure. I hope more musicals, more singing, more stacks of books to read, more things crossed off the list of to-dos.

Hurry up and come home. I’m excited to celebrate your birthday with you. I love you so very very much and I am looking forward to seeing what this year brings for you.

Happy birthday, Princess. I love you lots and lots of tater tots and I’m so lucky to be your momma.

<3

 

Filed Under: Birthdays

Thursday Ten: There’s A Million Things I Haven’t Done edition

May 18, 2017 by Leave a Comment
  1. I used to be a better blogger. I wrote more often, and sometimes I was even amusing. These days, I can’t seem to get myself together to string a few words into a post and that makes me crazy because so much as happened since I last posted, things that all warrant a post of their own and here I am writing a Thursday Ten and let’s face it, a bullet point for these things is just not even enough.
  2. Working backwards, most recently been dealing with the stress of my brother being quite ill, in the hospital and intubated, unable to breathe on his own. I can start with this because yesterday they were able to take the tube out and he was able to breathe on his own, though he is raspy, coughs a lot, and is quite pissed at the world. (He also really would like to eat something but… yeah, that’s going to be awhile.) Not sure how he got so ill, and I’m not sure how it got so bad… but it was bad and now he’s on the mend, and there are probably some things that will have to change for the sake of his health. Scary things aren’t good – but I’m glad that at the very least, it might bring about some much needed change.
  3. I found out my brother was so ill on our way back from Chicago where we had just seen mother-freakin’ HAMILTON. It was absolutely everything EVERYTHING I dared hoped it would be. I am so glad to have gotten to share that with the girls and Chris. It was magic.
  4. It was SO magic that by the time they got to “Yorktown,” I was just in such awe that I started crying – it is one of my favorite songs in the musical, and everything was perfect: the music, the staging, the choreography. ALL OF IT. And I was thinking to myself, “Oh my god. I’m really here.” I’d go again in a minute. Worth every penny of the ticket prices…
  5. You know what else, y’all? I ran a half marathon! It was difficult and kind of scary, but I did it. I cried when I crossed the finish line. (I’m doing a lot of crying lately) I just was so damn proud of myself. I can do these things. I can set these goals.
  6. So… I signed up for another half. I’ve got five more months to train for it, but even though I thought I was “one and done,” I’m totally doing another half marathon and that just kind of blows my mind a bit.
  7. And then I signed up for a ten miler, too, because the timing was perfect so why the heck not? NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW.
  8. Before THAT? I went for my yearly appointment with the amazing team in Iowa and…it was good. Better than I could have hoped.
  9. See, you guys. There’s been so much stuff. And now the school year is almost over, my kid turns 15 in just over a week, and I’m a freaking half-marathoner, and you’ve missed it all because I’m not a good blogger.
  10. But. I miss writing. I have to do this more often. I do.
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