Archives for May 2014

Thursday Ten: Post Birthday Indigestion edition

1. Well The Princess is now twelve. We celebrated with family and it was low key and lovely and she’ll have her birthday party with friends at her dad’s house this weekend. I’m kind of bummed, in a way, that I’m missing her friends party, but then again – perhaps I’m not. I’m only bummed because I’m missing seeing my girls have fun. Beyond that? I remember one of her birthday parties – a friend pulled a cd off the shelf: “Is this what they used before iPods?” And then my head exploded. Anyway. Maybe I don’t mind missing that. But we had a good evening and my Princess was totally loved and showered with thoughtful gifts and kindnesses.

2. And it was in the low-70s yesterday! WHOOOOO! I’ve been struggling with this whole skipping-over of spring that we’d done. The 80 degree weather has been killing me. Yesterday, despite the threats of rain, it was actually pretty darn nice. Jeans and tee weather which is PERFECT.

3. Birthday celebrations with cake, three kinds of ice cream and pizza with “12” spelled out in pepperoni leads to antacid at midnight. Too much. All good, but all too much.

4. It appears I have a day in front of me on Saturday with not a single thing to do — so my plan? A two hour workout. My schedule has not been my own lately. Looking forward to sweat, good scenery and moving at my own pace.

5. That may or may not have been in part triggered by the pizza/cake/ice cream birthday binge. Gah.

6. When your daughter takes your camera (your backup!) and a rarely used lens to school for a presentation and then calls you sobbing because the lens is NO LONGER IN THE CAMERA BAG, you get bonus mom points if you can keep yourself together, not get upset and do what needs to be done. The good news? It wasn’t a lens that I use at all anyway. The even better news? Someone found the lens and turned it into the office. It’s funny, because y’all know me – I stress and wig out over the littlest things – but, it didn’t even phase me. Was more important to not have her crying on her birthday.

7. Pumpkin is coming down with a bug and she’s got a nasty cough and she’s losing her voice. I’m not entirely sure if it’s really a bug or if it’s allergies, but I feel so badly for her. Her poor little voice sounds so froggy.

8. Chris and I spent last weekend making a lot of really amazing meals. This weekend? I’m probably going to live off Golden Grahams and coffee. No plans to cook. None, whatsoever.

9. Last weekend we saw a bumper sticker. It said, simply: “OPINIONS.” It was probably the best bumper sticker ever. I wish I had taken a picture.

10. How is it Thursday already? Anyone else totally messed up from that three day weekend?

To My Daughter on her 12th Birthday

Dear Princess,

Last week your language arts teacher sent an email assigning your family and people who love you to write you a letter that will go in a time capsule for you to open up in six years, during your senior year of high school. I knew, when I saw that, that I’d be writing your birthday letter soon so admittedly for the past several days I have had versions of both letters tumbling through my head – and I’m not sure what I want to say for either, only that thinking of these letters makes me want to cry.


How are you 12?

There’s something about having a middle school kid who is wearing size 9 Chucks and who is becoming more responsible every minute… it’s making me feel a) old and b) that this is all going so fast and that I’m going to blink and you’re going to be opening up that letter your senior year before I have had a chance to process the years between now and then. And I don’t wish them away, not at all. I never want to hold you back, but I like that you’re still my kid and I’m still your momma and that I’ve still got some years with you under my roof before you fly.

And fly you will.

You are, in a word: Amazing.

You are funny, responsible, intelligent, talented, creative, kind-hearted, and beautiful. You are an old soul and you are sassy. You are sarcastic and you are gracious. In short, you are everything I could have ever dared ask for and so much more I couldn’t have dreamed of, and yet you are.

You are fierce and tender and loyal and lovely and there are times when I catch a glimpse of who you will be when you’re older and it’s good. I’m so proud of you.

I’m proud of you when I see you compete at a gymnastics competition. I’m proud when your teachers tell me how much they enjoy having you around. I’m proud of you when you thank me for doing something special for you. I’m proud when I see you with my friends and how you are entertaining and witty and you light up a room. I am proud when you bake your crazy awesome cookies that everyone loves so much. And I’m proud when you do nothing at all, when you just are. Because it’s not all about big moments – you bring light into my life in small ways too.

You still like gymnastics, reading, baking. You are going to do a presentation on photography soon and that makes me smile, that my hobby is yours. You help me pick my pictures of the day, sometimes, and you are so exacting as you look over the images for clarity and point of view.

Your room is usually a mess and you nag at your sister sometimes as if you were the mom. You are prone to bouts of “hanger” and at times you can be easy to upset.You believe in fairness. You believe in vanilla ice cream cones with sprinkles. Your cousins adore you and actually, most kids adore you, even toddlers you’ve just met climb into your arms like you’re family.

And twelve years ago, I held you in my arms for the first time and now I am thinking of today and this year and six years from now and how you’re not a baby, not even close, you’re right smack in the middle of this growing up thing and I think you’re turning out pretty okay, and I am so happy about that.

I have no idea what this year will bring – seventh grade, yes. More gymnastics, probably. I try to think back on what I was doing in seventh grade and I can’t remember much beyond a crush on New Kids on the Block (which is not altogether unlike your crush on One Direction). This is our last year before the teen years, and I always hope that you are not one of those girls who will end up hating her mother as I’ve been warned can happen. I think I’d be devastated if it did.

I am, as I am every year, excited to see what this year holds.

I wish I had something profound to say to you this year, but I am also trying to think of something profound to say to Future Six Years From Now You and I find that that causes me a great deal of feelings because I don’t want to think yet of that and what your future holds.

For now, though, you’re here and I’m glad and there will be no flying out of the nest today, only excessive amounts of pizza and mint cookie ice cream. We’ll sing happy birthday and you’ll blow out the candles and I’ll take lots of pictures of you, my beautiful daughter and I’ll wonder where the time went and how are you twelve and look how blessed I am to get to be your momma.

Happy birthday, kiddo. I love you with my whole heart, Princess. I’m so lucky to be your mom.

<3 Mom

Thursday Ten: Yes I’m Keeping Track edition

1. We’ve had two gorgeous days in Michigan in 2014, yes I’m keeping track. Yesterday, was 80 and humid. Too hot. It’s like we entirely bypass spring here in Michigan and skip right to Circle of Hell. Pfffft.

2. Really amazing bread toasted and slathered with real butter and a cup of coffee. Perfect breakfast? Hmmm. Pretty close to it.
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3. So I watched a 16 minute YouTube video on how we’re all wearing the wrong size bra and how to properly measure and can I just say while I’m curious to see if they’re right, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a bra with a 30″ band in a store and I don’t especially feel like paying shipping charges to test the theory. But…I am curious.

4. My first StitchFix is due the week after next and I’m very excited and nervous about it. Was hoping to avoid shopping for clothes before then but this 8000 degree weather dictates I buy some short sleeve tops, pronto.

5. Spend time ironing Girl Scout patches on to a sash only to have them almost immediately fall off? But of course.

6. I really miss writing. I think of when the last time I’ve really had to just sit and write and the thing is… I don’t know. My house is cluttered and I haven’t written and I have three baskets of laundry to fold and I wonder where that time is going to come from.

7. Next week my daughter will be twelve. And I will be ancient. How do I have a nearly twelve year old?

8. I cannot believe the school year is over. Also, I cannot believe all of the things that the schools try to cram into the last few weeks of school. Really? Y’all needed to save all of that until NOW? Shoot, we weren’t doing anything in February. Why couldn’t we have done some of this stuff then?

9. This weather, while too humid and too hot, calls for margaritas sipped outside as the sun sets.

10. I am coming up on three months at my job. I cannot believe it’s only been three months and I cannot believe it’s already been three months. I think that it’s sometimes easy for them to forget that I’m still so new – sometimes because I’m on a roll and I’m getting things done and sometimes it’s because I still have a lot of questions because IT’S ONLY BEEN THREE MONTHS. I have a project from hell that should be wrapping in the next month or so and I am so ready to wash my hands of it. It’s making me crazy. Too many cooks in that project kitchen.

Thursday Ten: On the Mend. No Wait. Nevermind. edition

1. After EIGHT DAYS STRAIGHT of having a fever, I was relieved on Tuesday to be fever free finally. And then yesterday, it came back. Day by day, I’m taking it. Even without any of the gruesome symptoms of illness (like vomit), just having a fever day after day AFTER FREAKING DAY has been exhausting. There have been days where I’d have rather gotten this bug as The Princess did – hardcore illness for 24 hours and then DONE. Sigh.

2. With the weather warming up, I’ve been thinking of painting my front door. Of course, with the weather warming up, it’s done nothing but rain here, so….

3. While I’ve always been prone to stress and overthinking, I got hit hard with a particularly rough bout of it the other night – a stressful whirlwind that had my mind spinning while my mind should have been SLEEPING. I’m going to have to not do this because it’s really not healthy for me. “Stop worrying, Sarah!” Oh, if only it were that easy. I know it’s not. But somehow I am going to have to learn how to not freak out about every little thing because…Sleep.
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4. We went from gross winter to a sweltering hell pit of humidity. I’m glad that the temperature has leveled off a bit because dang Michigan, why you gotta be like that? But you know. Now it’s raining.

5. Yes. I mentioned the rain twice. Three times.

6. I have half a carton of heavy cream in my fridge and I want so badly to make butter with it. I don’t know why. I don’t really put butter on stuff. I just… want to make butter.

7. The Target Cartwheel app rocks my world. Well, mildly rocks anyway. I find that it has pretty decent deals on things that I actually buy, and for that, I love it. Apparently Meijer has a similar app, so I downloaded it and then it malfunctioned in the account set up phase so boo on you Meijer. I guess I’ll keep grocery shopping at Target. {Oh, this is what it’s come to. Rain Rain Rain Grocery Shopping.}

8. The kids have less than a month of school left. Where the hell did this school year go? I cannot believe that it’s nearly done – and it hit me the other day that if all the years fly by like this, I’m going to blink and The Princess is going to be graduating high school. Eeps.

9. I’m starting to get eager and nervous for my first Stitch Fix shipment. It should be here in just a few weeks. My worst fear is that nothing will fit. My second worst fear is that I’ll love everything and it will cost a fortune. I guess we’ll see. (Do you StitchFix? How’s it going for you?)

10. Life rule number one: Be nice. Life rule number two: If life rule number one is too difficult for you, try harder. Also? Why is it so hard for you to be nice? HUH? Snap out of it. No one likes a meanie.

Because Being a Mom is Freaking Hard, Y’all.

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I woke up to a card with a lovely poem propped carefully on my nightstand and the scent of chocolate waffles cooking greeted me as I walked down the stairs and I shared an amazing breakfast with my daughters and then we went to buy flowers for my mom and then we came home and the day kinda eased back from “it’s MOM’S SPECIAL DAY!” to… “Sunday.”

Most of the time, I just do what has to be done because it needs to be done. I’ve had a fever every day for a week and yet, I’ve still kept on being a mom, I’ve kept on being an employee — and the only thing I’ve let fall through the cracks is myself.

So I guess I wanted it to be Mother’s Day a little longer. A little longer without having to fix a doorknob that was falling off, or soothe a tantrum because I couldn’t find the good sprinkler, or referee a silly fight.

It’s silly to admit that, I guess. It sounds ungrateful. And I don’t mean for it to.

I had lovely cards, and lovely waffles, and I know how very much they love me.

I think I just wanted a time out on the rest of the stuff. A time out from the work. A time out from demands. A day to just…be.

And for parents… that’s just rarely how things go.



Thursday Ten: My Life Is Being Ruled By the Kids’ Schedules edition

1. Yesterday I got home nearly 13 hours exactly after I left for work in the morning and OH MY GOD I AM OFFICIALLY SO OVER THE EXTRACURRICULARS THAT ARE TAKING UP SO MUCH TIME. It’s two days a week but dang, after work, I just want to get home and get some dinner on the table and work out, if I’m lucky. Last night, I did none of that. I grabbed dinner from a drive thru (and I hate fast food for the most part) and basically put on my pajamas the instant I walked in the door. I didn’t feel like doing ANYTHING. And I hate that.

2. May 1. How on earth is it May 1? Whoa, 2014, you are flying.

3. I have an appointment to get my hair colored today because ugh, gray. I wish I could be content with the whole aging gracefully thing but basically I don’t want to so I’m going to.

4. Spent the weekend in Chicago last weekend and it was amazing. I love Chicago, love being in the city. Chris and I had some amazing gelato at Black Dog Gelato and I’m pretty sure there will be a repeat visit in my future (salted peanut gelato? YUM). It was good to have that change of scenery, as well. I’ve been feeling run down with all of the stuff in my schedule (see Item #1), so I needed some down time. It was a good thing.
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5. Dots candy are the best.

6. Sometimes I get sucked in to looking at Etsy and there’s really nothing I need but it all looks so wonderful anyway. The latest rabbit hole was chalkboard lettering prints, though…some people don’t get it. No one would write in comic sans on a chalkboard.

7.If someone asked you to say five nice things about yourself, how long would it take you to come up with five? It took me far too long. It’s tough! Maybe the number one great thing about me is that I don’t have a huge ego?

8. Anyway: Say five nice things about yourself, in the comments: Go.

9. I’ve done a third of my Avon Walk fundraising! It’s the most intimidating part, so I’m always relieved to see progress. Still a long ways to go, though.

10. I had lunch with my former coworkers a few days ago and I am again relieved that I gained real friendships from that experience. They are all amazing women. That they tell me how much they miss me at the office is just extra. (It’s nice to be missed.)