Archives for October 2006

Far and away, Halloween is one of my least favorite holidays. I have never really gotten into Halloween, save for those years when I was a kid, and Halloween meant getting a pillowcase full of candy and then binging on Reese’s cups for five weeks straight. As an adult, I like Halloween even less. As a parent, dare I say – I hate it.

Buying my children costumes so they can go door to door begging for candy which will only serve to make them hyper and greedy, as well as rot their precious little teeth? Fantastic.

The neighborhood kids have been at the “trick” part for a few days, egging several (almost all) of the driveways in the neighborhood, as well as spraying them with ketchup, vegetable oil, and what appears to be motor oil as well (Hello? EPA?). Fantastic. Fortunately, our driveway managed to remain free of condiments and such, which makes me think the little wanna-be-hoods were friends of Stepson’s, cutting us a break (or they could be confirming what it is we already know – we are the nicest, most wonderful people on the block… Take your pick – either explanation makes sense).

Tonight, The Princess will wear this hideous Barbie Mermaidia costume. Pumpkin will be a dragon (dinosaur?). We will take them trick or treating, then ration their candy like prison guards or some such. (And we’ll probably eat more of it than they will!).

Does ANYONE like Halloween?

Hubby tells stories of when he was a kid, and he looked forward to going to his grandparents’ houses. One set of grandparents always gave him cookies. The other set, ice cream. Tomorrow, my girls will be with my mom and her husband all day, and The Princess is so excited. No, it’s not cookies and ice cream. She said to me tonight as I was tucking her in, “Do you think we’ll get to have shrimp for lunch and couscous for dinner?! I bet we will!”

Shrimp and couscous. My Princess – she’s certainly one of a kind!

I totally stole this from Emily… You just put the iPod on shuffle and then fill in the songs for the categories. The songs don’t always make sense… This made me realize I totally need more music on my MP3.

Opening – “Fireflies” (Faith Hill)
Before you met me I was a fairy princess
I caught frogs and called them prince
And made myself a queen
Before you knew me I’d traveled ’round the world
I slept in castles
And fell in love
Because I was taught to dream

Wake Up – “Crush” (Dave Matthews Band)
It’s crazy I’m thinking
Just knowing that the world is round
And here I’m dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
And is this real or am I dreaming

Average Day – “Cool” (Gwen Stefani)
We have changed but we’re still the same
After all that we’ve been through
I know we’re cool
I know we’re cool

First Date – “Kiss the Rain” (Billie Myers)
If your lips feel hungry and tempted
Kiss the Rain
and wait for the dawn

Falling in Love – “SexyBack” (Justin Timberlake)
Come let me make up for the things you lack

Fight Scene – “Yeah” (Usher)
Because I don’t know if I take that chance just where it’s gonna lead

Break Up Scene – “Wanted Dead or Alive” (Chris Daughtry)
Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it’s not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways

Secret Love – “More than Words” (Alias)
I need you now More than words can say I need you now

Life’s Okay – “Somewhere Over the Rainbow/Wonderful World” (Israel Long-Hawaiian Last Name)
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Mental Breakdown – “Kryptonite” (Three Doors Down)
You stumbled in and bumped your head
If not for me, than you’d be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground

Deep Thought – “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (Nirvana)
Here we are now, entertain us

Flashback – “I Will Survive” (Gloria Gaynor)
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you done me wrong
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along

Partying – “Kharma Chameleon” (Culture Club)
Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams,
Red, gold and green
Red, gold and green

Happy Dance – “Upside Down” (Jack Johnson)
I wanna turn the whole thing upside down
I’ll find the things they say just can’t be found
I’ll share this love I find with everyone
We’ll sing and dance to Mother Nature’s songs
I don’t want this feeling to go away

Regretting – “The Search is Over” (Survivor)
I was living for a dream, loving for a moment
Taking on the world, that was just my style

Long Night Alone – “American Pie” (Don McLean)
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn’t play

Death Scene – “I Don’t Care” (Ricky Martin)
Sorry babyI didn’t mean to hurt you

Closing Credits – “Seasons of Love” (RENT)
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

(Note:These didn’t fit as well as Emily’s did… Oh well!)

“My friend, K, at school swallowed a marble. A REAL one. And she didn’t choke. It just went right down to her belly.” This is what The Princess told me when I picked her up from preschool yesterday.

“My goodness,” I replied. “Is she alright?”

“Oh, she’s okay. She even got a sucker.”

If my kid swallows a marble to get candy, I’m going to have to have a word with K’s parents!

In a move my Hubby shook his head at and seemed truly puzzled over, I spent about an hour yesterday, ripping pages out of my old journals, and running them through the shredder. Foolish, perhaps, as I have no plans to take part in politics, and I don’t have a particularly sordid past. Maybe “pointless” would be a better word for what I did.

I don’t know.

The journals, which were from my senior year of high school until the year Hubby and I started dating, had been placed in our garage attic – and had been there pretty much since we moved into this house. I hadn’t seen them in years. A pretty avid journaler back in the day, there were five journals in that box…

And I shredded all but one of them.

Something about opening those pages and seeing my words on a page just made me want to make those words gone. Maybe because I’m now thirty and oh-so-much older and wiser. Maybe it’s because there’s no looking back. As I ripped out the pages, I skimmed over some entries and was amazed at the things that felt so heart breaking at the time, wounds I thought I’d never heal from, joy I thought I would revel in forever – and I had truly forgotten about them. And, yet, maybe that is why I shouldn’t have destroyed those moments – as a reminder that even what feels truly horrible when you are in the depths of it will pass. Life goes on. Those big moments fade until they became small moments, and then sometimes non-moments in your memory.

I do believe that all the moments and all the journeys in my life led me to where I am today, and so my actions yesterday were not to erase what has already happened. I felt a little sad, maybe, that I had been so hurt by things – trivial things – like bickering with friends, boy drama, backstabbing, growing up – things that ultimately, occupied just a few pages in time, versus my life today. I had no idea where I was going. I had no idea I had such amazing things ahead of me. No idea that I was going to be blessed with a great husband and two fantastic daughters. All that time I spent dwelling over so-and-so not calling, or how my friendships drifted when I went away to college… and I wish I could go back and say to myself, “It’s all a part of the journey… ride it out…Put the pen down, and just BE.”

I did keep one journal. The journal from about the time when Hubby and I started dating. Not because that is “where life begins”, mind you, but because someday, I’m afraid I won’t remember some of the courting and smooshy love stuff from our early days, and I’ll want to be reminded. Even as I skimmed yesterday, I found this entry:

The other day I was stressing because I haven’t found a subleaser for my apartment yet, and he said, “It’ll all work out. You know how I know? Because you’re supposed to be here with me.”

And that’s exactly it – I’m where I’m supposed to be. And though the stuff in my life before this, it all made me the person I am, the person Hubby fell in love with… it just doesn’t matter so much to me. I don’t want to read those pages anymore and think about that stuff.

Those pages are gone now, and I’m not a 16-year-old anymore…

The Princess doesn’t recognize The President of the United States by sight. She doesn’t know his name. But by golly, my girl can identify Rachael Ray on a box of Wheat Thins!

Michael, Laura, Uli or Jefferey?

Project Runway Finale is tonight!

Hoping no one shows any “serious ugly”.

My birthday was definitely a joyous occasion, nicely spread out over a few days, as Hubby thoughtfully planned a surprise party in my honor to take place Sunday afternoon. That’s not to say I was totally unaware something was up – I’m a woman, I have intuition. However, it was a great day and a nice gathering with many of my friends and family. Hubby did his best – though unfortunately neglected to invite some people I would have loved to see – (If you are one of them, I am so sorry!).

After dessert for everyone (yummy brownie sundae!), gifts (yay! Starbucks gift cards), and some chatter, the party broke up and The Princess and Pumpkin went with my mom, while Hubby and I went out with some friends of ours for a movie (“The Departed” – gooooood) and dinner (which ended up being free because it took so long to get our food – free is also good). It was a very thoughtful day – and still not my actual birthday!

Monday, he surprised me with a trip out of town to the IKEA store on the other side of the state. Having never been to Ikea, it was a tad overwhelming. Such cute stuff, though. We had a fun time, and were home in time for Hubby and The Princess to make me a birthday cake.

Arrived home to the oddest gift of all – via UPS, a coworker in Oregon had sent me (along with some work I needed to complete) a huge hunk of parmigiano-reggiano cheese! Hilarious! Having made a fresh loaf of bread on Sunday, though, I grated up some of the cheese to sprinkle on the bread before toasting it (delish!) and for my salad.

I’m digging thirty so far. I have never really been too squidgy about my age. I have a friend who has been 25 for about nine years – and really, that’s not my style. I’m thirty… and that’s really not that old.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes!

I’m thirty today.

Wow.

Saddled with a sick little Pumpkin (who with a temperature hovering at or near 102 for most of the day was super clingy and demanding to be held when she wasn’t napping), I pulled out the box of art supplies for The Princess early in the day to keep her occupied. She decorated numerous dixie cups with glue, glitter and in some cases, stickers.

This evening, after Hubby got home, she decided that she wanted to go door to door and sell the cups. She went to the house two doors down, and though Hubby suggested a penny might be a reasonable price, our neighbor decided that that simply wasn’t enough for our little Picasso’s work, and bought two cups at a quarter a piece!

She came home to show off her earnings and said to me, “Now I have to go make some more cups!”

This is going to get REAL old, REAL fast in our neighborhood!