To My Daughter on Her 15th Birthday

Dear Pumpkin,

Happy 15th birthday, sweetpea. Your birthday kind of snuck up on me this year – what even is time during this whole pandemic mess? But I’m still so excited to celebrate you today and wish you were waking up here at home so we could begin the day with celebration… just like we did 15 years ago.

Well – I was joyful but probably too tired right away to celebrate, but I was so glad you welcome you into this world. You arrived quickly and without much fuss. Punctual since day 1, you were.

As I type this, you’re about a month away from starting your sophomore year of high school. Who knows what that will look like? At the moment, we’re hoping you can get back to school — even if it means you’ll be wearing a mask. We talked about the option of virtual learning, and you’d rather not go that route. I’m nervous about you going back to school with all of this stuff going on, but I respect and understand that it is your preference and I know that getting your education from computers isn’t ideal for you.

Before all hell broke loose, your freshman year was a good one. You got straight A’s. You were involved in both the play and the musical. I’m so very glad that the cast got to perform the musical for its full run before school shut down. Your Odyssey of the Mind team performed at Regionals, and you advanced to State. State was inevitably canceled due to the virus and all of that chaos. I hate that you had to miss that because your team was doing well and you were having so much fun.

You have a delightful group of friends — they are creative and funny and they are unique and I love that you’ve found a tribe of people who you connect so well with.

You are outspoken and are not afraid to call something out if it’s stupid or wrong.

You are the kind of creative wonder that makes your English teacher say things like, “I just want to take a tour of her brain and see how it works” and telling me that you’re one of the most creative writers she’s ever taught. And that makes me smile because I know that your writing is so meaningful to you and it’s something you’re so good at that it feels fantastic to be recognized for it. I hope that it continues to be something that brings you joy because I really admire that about you.

You’re smart and you don’t shy away from participating in class or from asking questions when there’s something you don’t understand and I think that’s pretty great, too.

The past few months have been hard for you. It’s boring to be home. It’s boring to not go anywhere or spend time with friends. The last bit of school was weird. Unexpectedly, the year ended and when distance learning began, your teachers were mostly MIA with assignments that maybe filled an hour of each day. The loss of routine and focus has been hard, and though I’m grateful to have the time at home with you and your sister right now, I know that you’d rather we could do fun things instead of me chugging away at work in the home office. It feels a bit like we’re all grounded.

You should be starting driver’s training now, but there’s a waiting list and who knows when that will be. But it’ll happen – we’ll get there. It’s okay because right now you’re not super eager to get behind the wheel, but I think it’ll be exciting once you start.

In a month, your sister will go to college. It’ll be just the two of us on our own — it’s never been just us. I am afraid I will drive you crazy, But we will find our momentum and our groove. Life has thrown a lot of change at us the past several months, and I guess the changes will keep coming but I think we’ll be a good team and we’ll adapt and make the most of what we’re faced with.

You’re starting the day with your dad but I’m very much looking forward to you coming home to celebrate with me and your sister. I’m excited for your birthday, to share devil’s food cake with buttercream frosting covered in coconut. I am so glad I get to be your mom and your birthday is a lovely day for me to celebrate one of the best jobs I’ve ever had.

I love you with my whole heart and I am so very very lucky to be your mom.

Happy birthday <3

I love you!

About sarah

Sarah is a book nerd, a music lover, an endorphin junkie, a coffee addict. Oh, and a goof ball. She writes, she tweets, and she sings off key.

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