Thursday Ten: A Change Is Gonna Come

  1. As I type this, I think back on the post I wrote last week. The one where I was so maxed out, so stressed out, so overwhelmed. Well… I’m still there. And feeling this way is not a good thing for me. I’m trying to practice self care as best I can – yesterday, I worked out twice! I drank lots of water! I reached out to my friends! But… I’m still having a very hard time and I’m not quite used to this.
  2. There are 39 messages in my spam folder right now and they’re almost all from the Gap.
  3. I am watching season 12 of Greys Anatomy on Netflix and getting my heard stomped on over and over again with all the drama. In a good way?
  4. I downloaded a new app called “Streaks” in order to try to create some healthy habits in my life – it’s the only reason I’ve managed to remember to floss my teeth for the past 8 days in a row.
  5. Tickets for Hamilton Chicago went on sale and by the time I was able to try to get tickets, all I could find were tickets that are $500+ each… or tickets with an “obstructed view.” (Hey theatres: why would you obstruct the view of the stage?) So what I’m saying is: I didn’t get Hamilton tickets.
  6. And I hate that I am even feeling badly about my life at all because so many people I know are going through some SERIOUS stuff and I’m all like, “Wah wah wah…I’m overwhelmed.” Realistically, we cannot compare our challenges to those that other people face – otherwise we’ll make ourselves even crazier trying to minimize our struggles for fear they’re not big enough to be justified. We don’t have to do that. At least, I don’t think so.
  7. You know, a year ago I was terrified. A year ago, I was newly diagnosed with Usher syndrome and I didn’t know how long my eye sight would last. I was looking for signs all the time about my vision – was it better, was it worse? My visit in Iowa changed a lot of that fear to hope. About my eyes. I think that has altered the changing about the other stuff. In some good ways and some less than great ways.
  8. As you can see, I’m working through my thoughts as I type this list.
  9. It hasn’t rained in a very long time and my yards are dry and what’s there is more likely a weed than grass.
  10. Is it Friday yet? It would be really lovely if it could be Friday.

Thursday Ten: A Vacation From My Vacation edition

  1. A week ago, we were in California and now we’re back and I have been exhausted ever since. A quick trip to see Chris win an award for work and to spend a few days at Disneyland and then back again – just a matter of days but it was good to get away even if I’ve been sleepwalking since I got home.

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2. And yep, I still hate flying. I was fortunate that the long stretches of time in the air were quite smooth, but even the littlest bumps set me on edge. I am the actual worst. The one kind of awesome thing about being scared of flying is that my fear leads to some nice conversations with the poor unfortunate souls stuck sitting next to me. The conversations I had with people who saw fear in my face – well, I’m grateful that in this world where we all tend to put on our headphones and keep our eyes forward, there are still some people who truly see you.

3. I am frustrated that I spend so much time wishing away my weeks. For example, do you know how giddy I am that it’s THURSDAY and I’m only one day away from Friday? And while whooohooo the weekend is almost here, I don’t just want to endure my weekdays. I need to shake that sense of rushing through my life, because that sucks.

4. I have been working on the Couch to 10K running program and managed to hit a 70+ minute workout last night. I never have that kind of time to get a workout like that – which could be why these run/walks are kicking my butt so badly. You’re supposed to do them 3 days a week, but who has that kind of free time? Not me, which is why I’ll never be able to run six miles without stopping to walk.

5. Seeing the fireworks spectacular at night at Disneyland was one of the most awesome things I’ve seen in a very long time. I took so many pictures and so much video – I loved it so much. You never really outgrow the magic of Disney, I guess.

6. It’s raining a lot lately. I know, that’s a spring thing, but I wish it wouldn’t rain quite as much. My backyard looks like a jungle and I don’t have time to mow it.

7. In the home stretch of the school year so that’s starting to get chaotic as well. Concerts, field trips, and all of that fun stuff. Makes for a chaotic few weeks. The Princess will be 14 in just over two weeks, so there will be a birthday celebration coming soon, also. Will be ready for summer to come and slow life down a bit.

8. SOooo. New Instagram logo. It’s pretty bad. And according to my kid, it’s somewhat traumatic. (We’re a family full of people offended by bad design, I guess)

9. Tomorrow’s Friday.

10. A summer vacation fell through this week and while I’m bummed, part of me is a tiny bit relieved I won’t have to deal with that whole re-entry back to the real world after vacation thing again. I should probably learn how work-life balance works.

Thursday Ten: When The Legends Are Dying edition

  1. Today, I was stunned at work when Chris messaged me, “Prince died?” and I was like, Nooooo, it couldn’t be and then I went to Facebook and my feed was already full of the news – the awful news – and it really just seems like 2016 is ripping people away too early, doesn’t it? Prince was a musical powerhouse – and as I drove home and listened to the words I had typed out, and seen, so many times today, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life…”, I felt my scalp tingle with goosebumps and tears fill my eyes.
  2. But my first instinct was to make a joke – which I restrained myself from doing – not about his death, but his death in comparison to so many others that haven’t made an impact on me. Because, well. Who cares, Sarah. Also: each of these people, these people I’ve never met, mattered to someone, lots of someones. Know who makes jokes about that kind of thing? A jerkface. Don’t be a jerkface.
  3. So, I’m consoling myself with episodes of Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix. As you do.
  4. The snow has finally (fingers crossed) melted and gone away – hey, it’s almost May afterall.
  5. And… I had a great trip to Iowa to meet a new eye doctor and for the first time in awhile, I feel hopeful about my stupid retinas. I know I’m always saying it, but that’s truly another post for another day – but an important one, and someday I’ll find time to write.
  6. There hadn’t been much time to write lately. Holy moley, life has been I-N-S-A-N-E.
  7. I finally finished the Couch to 5K program – next, I tackle trying to learn to run 10K. Oh the crazy things you do when you’re staring down your fortieth birthday.
  8. Did you know May 15 is National Chocolate Chip Cookie day? Now you know. It seems weird that over three weeks in advanced, I’m already thinking about baking cookies, but the thing is I probably won’t actually do it because see number 6 – I HAVE NO FREE TIME.
  9. I wasn’t this bummed when Bowie died.
  10. Alright, Universe. It’s time for sleep. Let’s go a day without a celebrity dying, huh?

Thursday Ten: Wherein a Foot of Snow Turns Into 70 Degrees Edition

  1. Last week, mother nature walloped us with a ton of snow – in my neck of the woods, we received over a foot of snow in 24 hours. This week, temps hit 70 and all the snow melted away. While I’m not complaining, this weather pattern has made for a kooky winter. And now March is quite nearly half over, and whoa nelly. This year is zipping along.
  2. I am concerned that the United States is all sniffing glue. This election season is making me shake my head in complete and total confusion. How the hell is Trump even a thing? Can we wake up from that bad dream anytime soon?
  3. We’re already getting to that time of year where school activities are taking over life. Just this week there have been two rounds of parent teacher conferences and a choir concert. Usually, it seems this hits a wee bit later in the year – typically, we hit spring break and then it’s a downward slope of one thing happening after another. We’re getting a jump on it this year.
  4. I’m so tired this week – and it’s a bummer with this magic weather that I’m so tuckered out… but I haven’t slept well and I hate that, waking up in the middle of the night and never truly feeling rested. I suspect it will only be worse after the clocks spring forward this weekend.
  5. By the way, don’t forget to set your clocks forward.
  6. And check your smoke detectors.
  7. I just accidentally saw a Facebook picture with a snake in it so I’m sure I won’t sleep tonight either.
  8. I’ve been trying to read Mindy Kaling’s new book for a week now and I’m not getting very far. What are you reading?
  9. Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks.
  10. Friday is almost here again. This is a good thing. I just finished a weekend and yet… I’m ready for one again.

Thursday Ten: Can I be honest? edition

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  1. Yesterday wasn’t a good day. I woke up just feeling completely grumpy, completely bogged down. And I went for a walk at lunch and felt a bit weepy for no good reason. And then the evening didn’t get significantly better. Alexander might describe a day like that as being “horrible, terrible, no good, very bad” and I’d be inclined to agree. I’m not sure what you do with a day like that though, because it’s far too easy to let the little moments add up to an unbearable fever pitch.
  2. It’s how I found myself eating cookies at 9:30 while watching Parenthood on Netflix, debating running a bath with Philosophy Pink Frosted Animal Cracker bubble bath.
  3. I find that I often have big judgmental ideas about things. I don’t know why. It probably doesn’t come from the happiest place, but I am difficult, I know, because my brain is always swirling and I can be hard and I can be awful. How are we the ways that we are, I sometimes wonder? The ways that make us difficult and closed off when we should be open?
  4. There’s a huge pimple on my forehead and I swear it’s eating my brain.
  5. Happy National Drink Wine Day! Cheers! I hope to pour a glass of white wine this evening – red gives me migraines. One of the most fun things about Michigan (remember, I don’t love Michigan!) is the number of terrific wineries in Traverse City – and most of them make white, not red, wine. TC is beautiful – and visiting the wineries is one of my favorite things to do here. (Beer City Whut?)
  6. I get really mad at the universe about my eyes sometimes. This week has been one of those weeks.
  7. My 39 before 40 list is going exceptionally slowly but… so far I have not caved in to my annual February whim to cut my hair. That’s HUGE.
  8. I started using Digit last week. In a week, it’s tucked away $11.50 for me. I’m a lazy saver, I know that I need to save… but don’t. It just tucks away a little bit at a time – and so it’s too soon to tell, but I’m hopeful that it’s a good way for me to meet my goal of starting to develop a REAL GROWN UP SAVING PLAN. I’m a bit obsessed with checking the dash to see if it’s saved anything more for me. In fact, I just messaged it yesterday to “save more.” [That link is an affiliate link – if you decide to sign up, when you start saving, I get some bucks for referral.]
  9. So, the very drawn on exaggerated eye brow trend. That’s…something.
  10. Sometimes I want to brag about my ability to make beautiful grilled cheese sandwiches, as if that’s a thing that anyone else but my kids cares about, but then I don’t because I have never actually eaten a grilled cheese sandwich and maybe it’s not something to brag about.

Thursday Ten: Fevered edition

  1. Tis the season for all the germs and viruses. I’ve been battling a low grade fever on and off for over a week and yesterday finally couldn’t stand it anymore. Between the temperature and the queasy stomach, I couldn’t stand to sit at my desk any longer. I actually left work early to come home and rest. I… never do that. I know that I should. It’s not good to hang out in your office, spreading your germs to every single person and putting them at risk to catch the crud – but, I’m also afraid of falling behind, losing time that I could be working on things, and well… you see where I’m going with this. I suck at self care when I don’t feel well. Baby steps.

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2. Tax refund time means pay all the bills time. UGH. In case you were wondering? That sucks. Know what else sucks? When your insurance refuses to cover a legit thing, so one of your bills is a $250 payment for something you didn’t want anyway. (Insurance companies hate people who have bad ears. They’re a bit nicer about eyes. But eff you and your ears. Apparently.)

3. National Margarita Day is coming up on the 22nd. Yeah, it’s on a Tuesday. Yeah, I’ll still be celebrating.

4. One of the things I said I wanted to do before I turn 40? The Couch to 5K program – again! The last time I successfully completed it was about six or seven years ago. I was in GREAT shape then. I’m in week three, and my fingers are crossed that I can maybe get some of that fitness level back.

5. I’ve also got Jillian Michael’s “Ripped in 30” going on. Why? Because I am not ripped. I miss muscle tone.

6. This probably says a lot about body acceptance and lack of but I have never pretended that I was rational when it comes to that stuff. I realize I could probably benefit from a good big bunch of therapy about it, but I also figure like it could be worse – Sigh. Maybe I’ll be better when I’m 40. (I’m not holding my breath either. Sorry.)

7. I’ve finally been getting a lot more reading done and now reading “Guest Room” by Chris Bohjalian. I set a goal for myself to read 30 books in 2016 – yeah that’s a mighty low goal – but I’ve read six already. It feels good to get into the habit of curling up with a book again.

8. I have watched far too many episodes of “Private Practice” on Netflix in the past 24 hours. I’m not entirely sure how it managed to stay on the air so long.

9. I’m super grateful for the very mild winter we’ve had but it’s getting cold this week and while that’s better than a blizzard, I STILL WISH THAT IT WAS SPRING.

10. How are y’all doing? What’s everyone up to? Talk to me, goose.*



*Yeah, I couldn’t think of a tenth thing.

Thursday Ten: Thunderstorms in February Edition

1.So, El Nino is doing some funky things all over the place and in Michigan, we’ve got lots of rain which is just kind of weird at this time of year. Also? Thunderstorms? In February? What the what? I mean, I don’t even want to complain because any of it is better than snow but it’s still just a bunch of bizarre weather that’s making my sinuses cranky. Fog. Rain. Ice. It’s unlike most Michigan winters, and it’s weird. (I hate snow so much so I’m glad that this year has involved minimal shoveling, but… I’m ready for spring.)

2. Speaking of spring, I guess the groundhog says it’ll be here sooner. Which is good because otherwise there’d be groundhog road kill to contend with. Or something. I wouldn’t actually run over a ground hog. I mean, I drive a Prius, for god’s sake. A groundhog might do some damage.

3. It’s entirely possible that my brain needs to do a bit of work into being a brain that’s nicer to me, or so it feels. I sent myself in circles yesterday – so sure I had messed something up. I beat myself up and basically turned myself inside out stressing about this perceived screw up and finally got to the point later in the day where I stopped myself in my tracks and thought, “Wait, what? I didn’t mess this up. I had every reason to think that I was doing this correctly. This wasn’t me screwing up. This was me operating on incomplete information. This doesn’t make me an idiot. This is something I can learn from moving forward.” I am…proud of myself for getting to that way of thinking about it all. It’s not easy for me to not stress about something – especially when the outcome isn’t great. But… we can only do the best we can do, right? And we just have to learn from stuff, and keep on keeping on.

4. I don’t even know if y’all know just how huge it was for me to let go of the whole flogging myself cycle and letting myself feel peace at knowing that if indeed I made a mistake, it was an honest mistake. Making mistakes is something people do. Even smart, capable people. I KNOW, RIGHT?

5. It seems odd to me that the government hasn’t yet found a way to utilize dog flatulence as a weapon against our enemies.

6. Can you believe we have SEVERAL MORE MONTHS TO GO UNTIL THE ELECTION? Honestly, I’m curious to see how this all shakes out, who is left standing in this seemingly never-ending clown car of candidates, but I am just. So. Tired. Tired of the soundbites and talking heads and name calling and mud flinging. The internet has been a blessing and a big fat curse for politics.

7. Tomorrow is World Nutella Day. Plan accordingly.

8. Picked up a new podcast this week – been listening to the M.O.N.E.Y podcast featuring my fave mohawked finance blogger (okay, the only mohawked finance blogger I know), J Money… who y’all might remember from Love Drop days. J is joined by another finance whiz who I had never heard of before this podcast – and in the first ep I listened to, they were talkin’ ways to start saving – which AS YOU KNOW – is on my list of things to get real about before I turn 40. It’s pretty interesting to hear money smart people talk about money – and creating a real savings plan suddenly feels for real very doable.

9. The kids have dental appointments this morning and I’m at the point where before every dentist appointment I think to myself, “PLEASE don’t let this be the appointment where we start talking orthodontia because MY WALLET DOESN’T WANT TO HEAR IT.” Cross your fingers, y’all. Give us six more months of brace-free living.

10. You know what, you guys? It’s FEBRUARY. 2016 is 1/12 complete already. How does that even happen? We were just ringing in the new year. I’m not sure if i’m ready for the year to fly this way. Or maybe I am.

Thursday Ten: Can It Be Spring Yet?

  1. Yesterday, I told a client that February contains National Drink Wine Day, National Margarita Day, National Pizza Day, and National Bacon Day? Why? Because February SUCKS and February needs pizza and tequila. Obviously.
  2. I started the Couch to 5k program again and then we got a bunch of snow again, so you know, whatever, oh well… maybe in a few months?
  3. Day two of the Couch to 5K made me realize that I really NEEDED new running shoes because as I ran/walked/jogged, water was coming up through the bottom of my shoes and wow, that was cold and not really very much fun at all.
  4. We have taken to calling my mango-avocado smoothies “Unicorn Snot.” Mmmmmm. Delicious. (Unicorns are a good source of Vitamin A and Lutein.)
  5. In the midst of a snowy morning on Wednesday, I decided to wear a sweatshirt to work…forgetting I had a meeting later. Looking like a hobo with your web developer – achievement unlocked. (Ooops?)
  6. I’m not at the point yet where I’m hoping for the flu so I can take a break for a day and catch up on rest, but man, I could use a break for a day to catch up on rest. Where’s my mommy snow day?
  7. Spoiler alert: Apparently there’s no mommy snow day.
  8. In the aftermath of Christmas, one of the things I am happiest about is the stack of books I’ve accumulated from spending Barnes & Noble gift cards. ALL THE BOOKS ARE MINE!
  9. I loathe conference calls and speakerphones.
  10. It’s been a grumpy week. I’m not gonna lie. I’ve been looking forward to Friday since Monday. We’re almost there, y’all.

Thursday Ten: On The Downward Slide edition

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  1. I took this picture last night just after six p.m. and it wasn’t completely dark and hallelujah! It may be colder than…something really cold… but it’s staying lighter later and that means that there’s hope that winter won’t indeed last forever, even though, let’s face it – it feels like it.
  2. I have been busting my bum on some work projects lately, and there’s something oddly satisfying about wrapping something up even though you know full well that that’s not the last of that you’re gonna see. There’s work I love to do, work I like to do, and work that makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Usually it’s the stuff that makes me struggle that makes me want to bang my head – which, let’s face it, would be stupid because killing my brain cells is only gonna make things harder – but… anyway, this is just to say: I feel good about what I put together after a long period of struggling through how I was going to display the information and let’s just stick a fork in this one.
  3. We are in the point of winter where Pumpkin asks me every morning if today is a snow day and gets quite frustrated with me if in fact it is not. I control many things – because hey, I’m a control freak – but unfortunately, I do not control the weather.
  4. The PRincess is in the midst of exam week at school and is nearly at the end of the second quarter of the school year. I don’t recall exams in eight grade, so I guess the times are a-changing and seriously the year is half over already? When did that happen?
  5. The weekends are abnormally filled with kid activities lately that I am really looking forward to having no activities this weekend. The busy weekends fly by so quickly and then Monday rolls around and I feel unrelaxed and semi-grouchy.
  6. There are still people who hit Reply All when they don’t need to Reply All. And there’s a special place in hell for those people.
  7. I’ve been a grump lately and I am trying so hard to shake that negative attitude. It’s hard. Life is too short to be in such a foul mood.
  8. I broke free from my shell and wore red nail polish this week. I hate red. Not a fan of red nail polish. Pretty stoked that it’s all chipping off. It was worth a try. I tried it. Now… never again.
  9. My dog used to do this thing where every night around nine, he just turned into this royal grumpy beast – and now, he’s calm. Super calm. But around 9 he just starts farting. It’s…not good either.
  10. I could use a grown up snow day. A day curled up under a pile of blankets, reading books and napping sounds heavenly. File also under: it will never happen.

Thursday Ten: The Most Annoying People on Facebook Edition

Facebook. I love it or hate it depending on the day. BUT I CAN’T QUIT IT. Facebook break? Nah. I’d rather just complain about the annoying people. You know the ones…

  1. The overaggressive sports fan, particularly if they gotta bash my team to cheer theirs on. “We’re number one!” they’ll post. “We are Spartans!” Um. Dude. You’re not a Spartan. You barely made it through high school and you still mix up there/their/they’re.
  2. The narcissist. Do you have strangers take your picture? How on earth can you explain the fact that you have a photograph of yourself taken damn near everywhere you go. I’m all for healthy self-esteem, but somehow yours is over the top. You take your selfie even when you’re on an ambulance (what the what?) and somehow you have all these photographs that are supposedly candid but look anything but.
  3. The airer of dirty laundry. Pretty sure I don’t need to know when you’re fighting with your spouse and even more certain I don’t want to watch it unfold in the comment thread. Keep your marital hooey offline. (And if your kids are reading your posts? EVEN WORSE.) Also? Yeah, once we’ve watched twenty messages unfold, we’re gonna end up taking sides so if you’re wondering why no one likes your wife anymore it’s because she said a lot of really bad things. Oh. And she can’t spell.
  4. The conspiracy theorist. Snopes can be your friend, but not like you’d believe it anyway. Maybe your tin foil hat is wrapped around your noggin just a little too tight. We’re sheep who believe everything we read – that’s your rally cry. At some point, we’ll all see that you were right all along. Yep. Okay. Sure. There are far smarter people on the planet, and yet, you’re the one who’s figured out the great mysteries of life? Hmmmhmmmm.
  5. The salesperson. I am super excited for you about your nails, your smoothies, your storage containers, your (insert thing you’re selling here). Mostly – I really am A-okay with what you’ve got going on. Big mad crazy props for finding something you dig and working to support yourself. What I’m less okay with is always being the target audience for your sales pitch. I don’t want nail stickers, I think your protein drink tastes like chalk, and the last time I went to one of those kitchen parties, I got a lemon zester that doesn’t zest so much as it twirls lemon rind and it’s super useless so just… no.
  6. The racist. You’re a hateful awful person. You start sentences with, “I’m not a racist, but…” I will forever hear that as, “I am a racist butt.” You spew hate, then try to justify it, and get all bent out of shape should anyone argue with you. Unfollow. Unfriend. (It’s 2015. It’s really not okay to think like this.) Racist posts are made worse by people you know have had very little interaction with a diverse culture – how do you have reason for such hate people you’ve never even encountered? You don’t. You can’t.
  7. Vague bookers. While I’m not a fan of airing the dirty laundry, go big or go home. To allude to it and not actually say what’s up? That’s annoying too. Also, when you VagueBook, I just assume I know what it is… and I have a pretty great imagination. You’re better off just telling us so I don’t go imagining something worse – or you know, NOT AIRING YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY ON FACEBOOK.
  8. The one who has it all together. While conventional wisdom tells me that this is more facade than reality, you’re annoying not because I dislike the idea of having it all together, but because I’m insanely jealous.
  9. The wingnut. I don’t have to agree with my friends on every little thing – it’s cool if we don’t but man, you’re pretty vocal about a large number of things that I thought people had stopped believing decades ago. You’ll believe any thing your “news’ outlet tells you which is why you seem to feel so justified in your hate. Instead, you look kinda dumb
  10. The liar. You don’t have to show us your bleek picture when life has you down, but there’s something grating about that friend who shouts from the roof top about how great life is, and then you find out that the posts are lies, the photographs are staged, and it’s all fake. Be real with me. Authenticity is not just a buzz word. Life is not always picture perfect. I embrace those imperfections because that’s what life really is all about.

The reality is, most of these people are the same person. THe other reality is that the election season is making it all worse. I’ve stopped watching pretty much anything related to the election but what seems to multiply in droves is ignorance, hatred and uninformed generalities spreading like wildfire on social media. Yay technology.