Archives for 2010

Love Is Louder, And Why I’m Purple for Spirit Day

I’m not a hater.

The world is an amazing great place where people are diverse, spectacular and enriched by our differences. Or at least, in MY world that’s the way it rolls. I was raised by phenomenal parents, and my early childhood was spent in an area that was diverse, accepting and no one was expected to force themselves to fit in some pigeon hole society had created.

Or at least, that was my perception of it.

I have had so many tremendously fabulous people in my life and I have loved them all for the ways that they made me a better person just by being himself or herself. Race, religion, sexual orientation, gender… none of that matters to me. Never has. It’s not relevant. Someone’s character? That’s what shines.

I wondered how I was going to write this post today on Spirit Day. On this day, when we wear purple to support LGBT youth and strive to end bullying of these youth – I didn’t know how or what to say. I have no experience with having been bullied, or having bullied anyone. What could I possibly add to this conversation?

Fortunately, my friend Abby said it way better than I could:

I knew in my head that being gay was something many people struggled with, but I was busy with the whole being a teenage lesbian living in a girls’ dorm thing. So it hasn’t been until the past few years has something really occurred to me. These kids who are bullied or commit suicide? That could so easily have been me.

If I’d gone to a different school, or we lived in a different town, or if any number of tiny circumstances had been slightly different, I might have been one of those kids who grew up thinking that this thing inside of them should be concealed or suppressed or denied. Or killed.

But I got lucky – so extraordinarily lucky – and whatever it is that makes me gay has been allowed to grow and flourish and become an ingrained part of me that is no longer vulnerable. It makes me stronger. It’s something I adore about the hand I’ve been dealt in this life.

So now, I read stories about kids who are driven to suicide over the same piece of themselves that I find so awesome in myself. The notion is completely insane and it outrages me. Do you look in the mirror and find your brown eyes beautiful? Are they one of your favorite facial features? Go look in the newspaper. Kids are killing themselves over their gorgeous brown eyes.

I wear purple today because I support our right – YES, OUR RIGHT – to love and be loved. I wear purple because BULLYING SUCKS. I believe in Spirit Day because I hope that these kids know that there are places to turn right now – right now when there are people so full of hate and cruelty, I hope the LGBT youth know they’re not alone and that there are people who are out there loving them for being who they are.

I wear purple because I want my children to know that having an open heart and loving and embracing our friends for all their many qualities is what makes our lives better. I want my children to not put barriers on their love and friendships. I want acceptance of all people to be the rule and not the exception. And I hope to see it happen, soon.

I hope that by the time my kids are parents, this bullying stuff is another “remember way back when…?” kind of thing, and they too let their kids know that bullying someone for not fitting into some societal pigeon hole is wrong.

I’m not a hater.

Love is louder than hate.

And though I may not be wearing purple every day, my support is always there.

Weekly Winners – It’s My Birthday

Happy birthday to me.

I am the baker in the family, and it means that whenever there is a birthday in our family, I am the one who bakes the cake. It also means that I haven’t had a birthday cake in years – because I refuse to make my own. I know, I know – it’s not really a huge deal. I don’t even like cake that much (cookies, on the other hand…). But there is something about having a birthday cake.

And I’ve missed having one.

This year, my mom facilitated my daughters making a cake. The girls did everything. Everything except putting the cake into and out of the oven.

And it’s beautiful.

Today I turn thirty-four. Not 29 for the fifth time. Not 25, like my neighbor was kind enough to say.

34.

And I kick off my year with a cake that is overflowing with love. And chocolate.

I’m eager to see what this year holds.

Thursday Ten: It’s ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY Edition

1. You heard me. It’s ALMOST my birthday. The day after the day after tomorrow. And I’m getting older and I don’t really care (much). I love my birthday. I love your birthday. I love birthdays. PERIOD. Birthdays are a complete day of celebration to me, and my own is no exception.

2. Yesterday was a difficult day for me and I made a point last night of tabling my worries and just trying to relax and wrapping my head in an episode of “Top Chef: Just Desserts”. It worked. Today, I woke up ready to try for a better day. I even did my hair and put on eyeliner – so you KNOW I mean business.

3. Somehow, all the hours we have spent in puppy training class have faded. I have made it my MISSION to get this puppy to straighten up. I’ve had it with the puppy thinking he’s king of the sofa, and I’ve had it with him picking on Pumpkin and jumping on her. Armed only with a bag of freeze dried chicken breast (ew?), I am determined to make him into a nice family dog. So far… not bad.

WOOK AT HIS WIDDLE FACE.

4. In guitar this week, my teacher started me on 12 Stones’ “Broken Road”. It has some chords that we’re working on making sound less ugly (some of those major chords are a pain. A big ugly pain). I’d never heard the song before and it’s… just aight for me. Sometimes it’s fun to learn something I don’t know, though. I like to be exposed to new music.

5. The Michigan – Michigan State game last weekend. Sigh. It didn’t go well. For Michigan. If you’re a State fan, I imagine you were thrilled. Me? Not so much. My dad calling in the midst of the third quarter to play MSU’s fight song on my voice mail didn’t help. Neither did my (not so lucky) Michigan underwear. Oh well. At least they’re cute.

6. I got school pictures back for both of the kids this week – looked at them and then put them right back in their backpacks to send back for retakes. Now, I think my daughters are gorgeous, but the quality of school pictures is often poor. The coloring seems off, and I was slightly peeved that they couldn’t take the time to brush my kiddo’s bangs out of her eyes (or tell HER to) before snapping her picture. I had pinned her bangs back with a barrette before sending her to school – by the time they had pictures, they’d also had recess. Smart. The Princess’s coloring looked so “OFF” in her pictures, her skin had an orange cast to it. I really SHOULD skip the whole endeavor and just take my own shots of the kids.

7. Did I mention my birthday was coming up? I did, right? I’m pretty sure I said something.

8. The fall colors in Michigan are amazing right now. The leaves are gorgeous reds and oranges, and it’s like driving through an amazing tunnel of color when driving down a tree-lined road. Now, I’m grateful I only have one small tree, so I can embrace the beauty without having to rake it all up – but man, it makes me smile to see it.

9. Every parent has a limit to how many kindergarteners he or she can tolerate in one place. My number is somewhere less than three. Maybe two. Or, you know, just the one I have. I just got back from Pumpkin’s field trip – a visit to the pumpkin patch with TWENTY-FIVE kindergarteners. That’s TOO MANY. Not sure how that teacher does it, but, goodness – elementary school teachers deserve a big high five at the end of the day (and probably a drink too).

10. And in the interest of carrying on my good mood…. I love Michael Franti & Spearhead’s “Sound of Sunshine”.

“Here I am, waiting for the storm to pass me by…”

disjointed

When my brother and I were younger, we used to play this game called “Mercy”. We would stand facing each other, clasp our fingers together and then bend the other’s fingers back as far as they go. We would withstand the twisting and bending of our fingers, the pain and tightening of our knuckles, while trying to be the one to stand tall longest, not be the one to give in. I never wanted to be the one to give up first, never wanted to be the one to say I couldn’t stand the pain anymore, never wanted to say, “Mercy.”

And I guess I haven’t changed much.

***

Tonight when I was on my walk, I buried my iPod’s ear buds deep in my ears (though I know you’re not supposed to do that), and set the music to Shuffle. Each song that appeared didn’t seem right to me, and I’d skip past, hoping the next song would fit the moment. The wind was brisk, the early evening sky dusky, the neighborhood quiet – no kids on bicycles – no laughter in the air, no cars whizzing by.

No songs seemed to fit.

I kept clicking the arrow, until finally I landed on Carly Simon’s rendition of “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”. And I stopped. My stepmother had this album when I was a kid – it’s from Carly’s “Coming Around Again” album, and she somehow mashes up the children’s classic that we all know with her song from the movie Heartburn, “Coming Around Again”. Something about her voice, the familiarity and the childlike optimism of the song paced me through until the song was over and I began my mad search for the next song.

***

Right now, my stepson is having a very hard time. I don’t know what is the root of it, I don’t know what the solution is – but I know the process of finding the cause and solution are not easy and it’s difficult. We’re doing the best we can. Some days are easier than others.

Yesterday was a very good day – and if you were to have talked to me yesterday, I could have given you a laundry list of ways in which my day was fabulous.

Today was not so great.

In the daily push and pull with doctors and insurance companies and therapists and school administrators trying so desperately to figure out what the best solution is for this child, so much feels like it’s out of our hands and that is a disconcerting feeling. It’s a difficult thing, to be one who is used to making things happen, to not be able to make the gears turn when you need them to.

***

It’s hard to write about sadness. It’s hard to write and admit that you don’t have the answers or that the load you’re carrying feels like too much and your shoulders hurt and you want to rest and for a minute just sit down with your back to a shade tree and rest in the cool cover for a minute and let the world turn without you.

But that is what I am doing this evening.

Tonight, I say mercy. I will shrug this heavy weight off my shoulders and I will sit beneath this tree. I will lean and let it support me and I will give up what is turning over and over in my brain and for just a few hours, just…be.

And tomorrow will begin again. Tomorrow, we start over. Hopefully a little stronger, hopefully refreshed and ready for another day, another try.

The Flip Side – 10.12.10

I’m pink for breast cancer awareness.

For more THE FLIP SIDE goodness, visit Linda or Kat.

Thursday Ten: BRING ON THE POPSICLES Edition

1. I’m getting sick. Nothing too crazy – just a fall cold – you know, the typical kid goes back to school and the germs have a chance to incubate and turn to a fantastic phlegm fest and the kids pass it on to mom cold. Yeah. That. I have a runny nose and a sore throat and I feel like my head is going to pop right open. So, bring on the popsicles. I cater to the popsicle-soothe-the-throat method of killing the cooties.

2. My hard drive went kablooey over the weekend. Want a rude awakening as to how bad you are at backing up your photographs? That was definitely a rude awakening. BUT, I was fortunate to have lost NOTHING. Nothing but my sanity and several hours trying to get the new hard drive up and running. I’m still finding random things I forgot to install (Adobe Reader, anyone?) – but for the most part, it’s good. And I did it myself versus paying the big box store nerds $130 to set it all back up — though I can see where it’d be worth it, what a time consuming pain in the heinie.

3. I complained about last week’s episode of Glee, but I have to say – this week’s ep was much better. I actually missed the first half (so that could have been totally craptastic, I don’t know), but when I remembered to turn the television on, Kurt was singing, “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” I got goosebumps. And yeah, I DL’d the song from iTunes. My only music purchase of the week so far. His voice is ah-maze-ing.

4. Last week, we took Sir Pups A Lot (name changed to protect the not-so-innocent) to get neutered. And THEN, because he’s a rowdy active puppy, he managed to pop a stitch. We noticed after this not-so-fresh smell started radiating from his incision. The vet says it’s not infected, and has instructed us to keep putting Neosporin on the surgery site – but WHOA NELLY – that’s one stanky dog.

5. Last night, I watched two episodes in a row of “Top Chef: Just Desserts” (HEY! I’m sick, I can be lazy if I wanna). If ever there was a reality show after my own heart – this is it. Nothing but desserts FOR AN HOUR (actually, plus some – last night’s ep was long).

6. I really DISLIKE the “I like it…” Facebook meme. I am a tremendous fan of raising money and awareness for breast cancer, and love all endeavors to think pink and make people realize just how serious this disease is… except… How does the location of your purse do that? If you would like to raise awareness, there are other ways to do so. My heart is with two of my friends who will be walking SIXTY miles for breast cancer this weekend. And I’ll be walking forty again next summer (as always, feel free to click this link and donate to the Avon Walk).

7. Because I have teh cooties – I decided today I would up my water consumption, by… A LOT. I filled up my 32 ounce water bottle when running errands this morning and I DRANK IT ALL. I then hit every stupid red light on the way home. Sometimes, it just doesn’t pay to hydrate.

8. Last night at 11:59 p.m. was the deadline to vote for ArtPrize. It was a VERY difficult decision for me, and I was torn between Beili Liu’s “Lure/Wave” and Mia Tavonatti’s “Svelata”. Both were tremendously amazing pieces of art – both moved me so much. BUT, I only had one vote. I’m not telling you which one I voted for (well, unless you ask – in which case, I probably would), but it was one that I kept returning to. I couldn’t get it out of my head. I am grateful for the weeks we get to spend immersed in art and the opportunity to expose my kids to it. Brings me huge joy.

9. My list of books I want to read keeps growing and I get so frustrated because just when I’m finally getting caught up, I go to the library to return some books and leave with four more. I love reading. Currently, I’m reading two books: Lit: A Memoir (P.S.)* by Mary Karr and Little Bee* by Chris Cleave. Little Bee is our latest book club pic and I haven’t gotten far into it yet.

10. This weekend: Michigan versus Michigan State. Kind of a big deal in this neck of the woods. GO BLUE!

*Affiliate links

Scents and Sensibility

Sometimes when my sister has been around, if we’ve gone shopping and she’s ridden in my car, days afterwards, I catch the scent of her perfume lingering lightly on the upholstery or on my daughters’ clothes after she’s hugged them. It’s a beautiful fragrance and it’s distinctly my sister. I’ve never smelled Chanel Chance on anyone else, and so it’s a scent I associate with my sister and only my sister.

It’s beautiful.

Meanwhile, I wear fragrance sporadically. I mean, I work from home, no sense gussying up for myself. I feel wasteful wearing perfume when I’m not leaving the house and suddenly I have a bottle three quarters full and three years old and the fragrance doesn’t even seem to feel like ME anymore.

My most recent fragrance (three years recent) is a splash by Marc Jacobs and it felt lovely in spring and summer months – for autumn and winter? It’s not…quite…right.

So, I’ve been ON A MISSION.

I went to Sephora, seemed a good place to start. While there, I did their in-store fragrance finder (which differs somewhat from their online fragrance finder), and after telling it I liked to wear blue jeans and liked long walks on sunny days, it recommended Burberry Brit. Its notes are

Italian Lime, Icy Pear, Green Almond, White Peony, Sugared Almonds, Amber, Mahogany, Vanilla, Tonka Bean.

Now, I don’t even KNOW what a TONKA BEAN is, but it’s actually a lovely fragrance. Is it for me? I don’t know – I think that White Peony may be too strong – I’m not a fan of florals.

Another Sephora Junkie I know recommended the Fresh series of perfumes. These actually sound more “me” – but I have yet to check them out.

I want something classic – something I can fall in love with and live with for a long time. Something I can wear in ripped blue jeans and something I can wear when I’m dressed to the nines. Something I can wear while I’m sitting at home in front of my laptop and something I can wear when I’m on a class field trip. I need something versatile. I need something fresh. I can’t stand cloying, overwhelming fragrances. It must be light, and wearable.

And most importantly, it can’t make me pukey.

So, tell me – do YOU wear a fragrance (and men who might be reading: YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT FROM THIS QUESTION!)? What is your fragrance style (sporty, fresh, romantic, floral, spicy, etc)? What are your favorite scents? And MOST IMPORTANTLY, do you have any recommendations for me?

Thursday Ten: Art and Music and Onion Rings, Oh My! Edition

1.  Last week, I posted a review of Maroon 5’s new album, “Hands All Over”. This week, I’m letting you know that A&M is letting me giveaway an autographed copy of this album. You want it? Leave a comment for me telling me so. I’ll randomly pick a winner next week Thursday.

2. I’ve been still hooked on visiting ArtPrize. I had a two day span where I didn’t go see art, and I was starting to get a little bit TWITCHY. It’s one of the coolest things Grand Rapids has to offer, and I look forward to them announcing the Top Ten pieces later today. The public votes on the winner.

One of the pieces I love is made entirely out of wine corks. Wonder if the artist drank all the wine himself?

3. During ArtPrize, I’ve been loading all my pictures into a Flickr – it’s been fun to see other people’s shots of ArtPrize and to share my own. The downside? Even though I do not have my photos labeled with a Creative Commons license, I’ve noticed that a few of my pictures have been used on other blogs. And it’s a weird feeling – I want to be flattered that someone liked it enough to use it but… That’s Stealing. Odds are, if someone had asked, I’d have said okay. Please pay attention when you’re taking images from Flickr to see if the owner of that picture has authorized its use. If he/she hasn’t, try asking them if you can use it. (Okay, off my soapbox)

4. As I type this, the dog is at the vet getting neutered. Poor little dude – not. Meanwhile, while he’s not underfoot, I have vacuumed and scrubbed my floors. Having the dog not in the house is not unlike when your toddler takes a nap at the crucial point where you need to get a lot of stuff done. Yes, I’m saying dogs and toddlers are similar… except I’ve never REALLY been allergic to a toddler.

5. Music of the week — My friend Lotus clued me in to the free single on iTunes this week, Cory Morrow’s “Second Chance”. Loter’s hubby plays guitar for Cory, and though country music is not usually my thing, the song is pretty good and hey, it’s Lotus-by-proxy. And that’s a good thing. Other recent downloads include (blush) a few of the Glee renditions of Britney songs.

6. Let’s talk about Glee for a second, why don’t we? I like the show – a lot. But I’m beginning to hate these themed episodes. It feels like all the dialogue in between is just filler to get to the next themed song. And while Britney’s music doesn’t annoy me, this episode kind of did and not just because of that BIG EFFING SNAKE. Of all the Britney things to copy, they had to copy the snake? Why didn’t they copy the ratty jean shorts with the gas station bathroom key in one hand and a bag of Cheetos in the other? MUCH less freak-outty than the snake.

7. I saw this clip posted of Jimmy Fallon, Justin Timberlake and The Roots with the History of Rap. Starting and ending with Sugarhill Gang, this is a pretty awesome clip. (If the embedding doesn’t work, it’s worth the click through)

8. After three days of craving onion rings and a failed attempt making healthy oven baked onion rings at home, I caved and ordered them in a restaurant last night. They were SO GOOD, as I knew they would be. They also made my stomach hurty later. Me and fried foods? Not friends.

9. Tomorrow is the FIRST DAY OF OCTOBER. And you know what that means? My birthday month. Yes, month. Eventually, I will get to hate my birthday and won’t celebrate it (no, I won’t) and won’t require a whole month of celebration, but for now? OCTOBER’S (almost) IN THE HOUSE!

10. And since October is traditional Breast Cancer Awareness month, I want to remind you to not limit your awareness of this disease to a mere 31 days a year. So many amazing groups doing great things. My friend Rachel and her friend Tricia are working on a Saving 2nd Base project – also, if at any time you feel like donating to support me in my 2011 Avon Walk, my donation link can be found HERE.

TIL Tuesday: Tide Acti-Lift & Downy Fabric Softener

I learned how to do laundry in a trial by fire manner. I learned by desperation in the laundry room of my dorm at the beginning of my freshman year of college. Because my mom loves doing laundry – really – I’d never done laundry before. Admittedly some of the habits I created that year stuck with me for a long time (like… uh… 16 years).

For starters, remember, dorm washing machines cost money per load. This is where I developed my patented “Shove as much laundry as you can in the machine” method (trademark pending). Unfortunately, I hung on to this method because the fewer loads of laundry you do – the sooner you’re done, right?

Well, apparently the downside to this method is… well…. your clothes don’t get clean. There’s no room for the washing machine to do the hokey pokey and turn itself about. And without the agitation of the washing machine and the ability for the water to move around – your stuff just isn’t gonna get as clean.

Whoops.

At least I know that NOW.

I learned a lot in my two days in Cincinnati this summer at Proctor & Gamble’s Fabric Care University. Not only did I learn that my love for Tim Gunn is TOTALLY justified, I learned a ton about the actual process of washing clothes.

And, I’ve been lucky to have had the opportunity to try some new products from P&G – which, I happen to love.

Like a fool, when I was in Cincinnati, I told them, “I have daughters. I don’t worry about stain removal. I just want my clothes to smell pretty.” In fact, I had been using Gain for years – solely for the smell factor (it smells SO good). When the folks at P&G showed us how Acti-Lift worked, I was amazed — but thought for sure that there was no way my dainty lil daughters would ever require such a detergent.

Uh. Yeah. Well, summer is peak ice cream eating season (my oldest likes those vanilla soft serve cones with the dark chocolate shell coating). Drip drip.

And then there was the dye from another piece of clothing that rubbed onto my daughter’s favorite shirt.

And I had a pair of JCrew pants that I spilled something on over a year ago that have been sitting in my laundry room for all this time – as if I was waiting for osmosis to make them wearable again. Am I even that size anymore? Who knew.

ActiLift got the ice cream out. No more chocolate. It got the dye off my kid’s shirt. Spectacular. And it even picked up enough of the stain from my khakis that if I hold my breath and move really slowly, I can still squeeze into them again. Oh, and the stain is barely visible (it’s still kind of there – but not as prominently as it was).

Stain removal isn’t something I require ALL the time – but when we do need it, it’s nice to have it. I’ve been digging Coldwater Tide – trying to save some bucks on the electric bill. And yeah, it smells pretty good. Except Mountain Spring. I avoid the Mountain Spring scent like the plague. It’s just not…pleasing to my senses.

The second product I had the opportunity to try was the new Downy. I already used Downy so it wasn’t a hard conversion (April Fresh has always been my go-to). However, so many people at FCU were raving about the Bounce Bar that I ditched liquid detergent in order to try it. I am kind of a little bit in love with the Bounce Bar and how it lets me add an element of lazy to the laundry process.

But I wanted to try the new Downy because it promises “Clean Sheet Week”. The ONLY thing I like about doing laundry is the fresh sheet feeling (well, that and finding jewelry – but there’s been no new gems in my washer for awhile). To extend that feeling for more than the first day? Worth a shot, right?

The first night of use, I was hyper-aware of what the sheets felt like. I was trying to be observant so that when I came to tell y’all about it, I would have a very thorough review. Same with the second night – still felt great. Third night – fabulous. After the third night, I forgot to pay attention. I’m sorry, life got in the way. (Would you still love me if I took notes for all seven nights – I suspect that would be a little too Becky Home-ecky for some of you. And it would probably scare me a little also). So, yes, there’s an extended sense of “clean sheet feeling” – does it last seven days? I’m not sure. But it definitely lasted three. Which is still pretty good. And I’m a fragrance girl, so if I didn’t mention how much I LOVE the new scent, well… I’d be remiss.

Do I love doing laundry? Um. No. Hate it. But I do love the Tide and Downy family of products and they work well enough that my ineptitude isn’t obvious. Thank goodness.

The products were provided to me free of charge but the opinions are my own, as always. And if anyone would like to come do my laundry and be my laundry slave, I’d be happy to hire you and pay you in cookies.

The state of education and this mom’s opinion

I watch Oprah. This may not be a surprise to many of you – I tend to like stuff like that – “Aha! moments” make me smile (except when they don’t) and I kind of like the potpourri of stuff she shows on her show. [NOT that I can get tickets for any of her tapings because I’ve tried and failed – so Oprah? Call me].

Lately, if you’ve been watching O, you know that EDUCATION has been a big theme on the show. There’ve been people talking about the state of education. There’s been talk of the movie “Waiting For Superman”, bad teachers, and the little dude from Facebook giving Newark, NJ a pretty hefty wad of cash to make some huge changes in the schools there.

Geoffrey Canada – a guest on Oprah’s show that has been working with schools in Harlem – said on her show something to the effect of (I’m paraphrasing, yo), No other business could consistently decline and still be getting business. Essentially – the schools are getting yuckier and yet… they’re schools. Many of us still send our kids into the public school sytems, even though in many parts of the country, the performance of public schools keeps getting less and less fabulous.

It’s thought provoking for sure.

And I can only speak for where I live and the programs I know and the teachers I’ve met. If you live in Topeka, I don’t know how it is where you live. If you’re rolling in Denver, I am pretty much clueless about life in your neck of the woods either. I know Michigan. Specifically, this little piece of it.

Here: it could be worse. It could be a LOT worse. But, it could be better.

While I don’t love the administration of the schools here and I don’t love how they allocate their budgets, what I give our area much credit for is that somehow they have picked a phenomenal teaching staff. While I think our school lacks resources and lacks some essential programs – the teachers are top notch. This is what redeems the schools here, in my opinion.

Never underestimate the power of a teacher who gives a damn. Truly, it can counter more than a few of the negatives.

I’ve seen the schools with regards to its special education programs, which my stepson utilizes. There is an amazing, caring group of teachers and administrators who work quite hard to help each kid maximize his or her potential. The IEP process could be more seamless, I suppose – but it seems like one of those red tape things that’s probably a pain in the booty anywhere you go. The school has always gone above and beyond to ensure my stepson’s educational needs are met – even among some extremely challenging situations.

I think that is the area where many parents find fault in their schools. Fortunately, we don’t. Not there.

Surprisingly where the school IS lacking is in terms of the kids who are excelling. The kids who are meeting the requirements are the ones who get left behind here. And I’m not sure why.

This means that we struggle with The Princess who is in third grade. She’s meeting every requirement – and so it’s easy for her to fall through the cracks. There’s no process that seems to hold the school system accountable for children who need program adjustments in the other direction – more work, more challenging work, possibly more autonomy.

In the education realm, this is called “differentiation”. Differentiation is:

the practice of making lessons different to accommodate the different students in a single classroom. A classroom may have students with a wide range of abilities and rather than “teach to the middle,” thereby losing the students who need extra help as well as those who need little repetition, a teacher may alter lessons so that all students in a classroom will benefit.

So far – we were tremendously lucky last year. The Princess had a teacher who saw that she was bored, saw that she was easily breezing through things. She used differentiation to challenge my daughter – she created a spelling list for just my daughter, as well as adjusting the number of books my reader is allowed to check out from the library (and the type of book, as well).

The administrators aren’t working with MY children every day. I can’t expect them to know the idiosyncrasies of my children and each and every other child in the room – I count on the teachers to see where there is a need and help us find ways to meet them.

Does it always happen? Um… no.

But does that mean we stop trying? Definitely not. At the beginning of a school year, it means being the squeaky wheel and talking to the teacher about his or her plans for her curriculum – how is the teacher going to bend the lesson plan to account for where she’s performing? Is he or she willing to work with us to find the best solutions for our child? We hope so.

I don’t remember these things as issues when I was in school – perhaps it truly is a decline of the education system. Perhaps I was too busy pulling the arms off my Barbie dolls or buried in a Judy Blume novel to pay attention to what my parents were experiencing – for my daughter is a lot like me, and my stepson is somehow a lot like my brother. Surely, my parents encountered some of the similar situations. Then again… perhaps they didn’t.

What do you find to be the biggest challenges with your school systems? What are you loving about them? What don’t you like (example: I bet I get three tons of paper sent home each school year. I recycle it all, but think of the expense of  the paper line item on the school budget. INSANE). If you homeschool, were you driven by the state of your school system to make that decision? If Mark Zuckerberg gave YOU a wad of cash to improve your child’s schools, what would you do with it?

I’m curious – there’s much talk about how the school system needs improving – but where do we begin?