A Purse Never Gave Me Heartburn

In the past several months as things have gotten a bit more chaotic in life, several people have told me how well they believe me to be holding up “under the circumstances”. Well, sure. I guess.

I’m a logical person. I am a details person. I like to try to figure out all the possible detours between points A and B, and figure out just how those detours will be navigated. I am a problem-solver, by nature.

But, I have a breaking point.

This weekend, I hit that breaking point like a speeding car hitting a brick wall at 120 mph. Don’t worry, I was wearing my seatbelt and my airbag deployed — but there was still some injury. There was some hurt. And maybe, just maybe… there was a burst of the so-called “ugly cry” (And if you look pretty crying, I DON’T WANT TO KNOW YOU. If you look pretty when you hit your breaking point, perhaps you just aren’t trying hard enough. I kid. Sort of.)

Fortunately, one of the ways I get by each day – even when all is groovy and roses and unicorns – is working out. When life gets stressful, I don’t stop. When I’m walking or running, the rhythm of my feet forms a cadence that somehow aids my brain into problem solving. Sometimes it lulls me into thinking about something else. It’s a good thing.

But, Friday’s frazzled nature meant that I poured myself a drink. And I drank it. Then I promptly got dizzy and tired and fell asleep before even reading twenty pages of my book.

And then Saturday – well, at some point Saturday I had lost one of my earrings. My grandmother gave me these earrings. I have been wearing them almost daily since receiving them as a gift before she died. They weren’t fancy – small, simple sterling silver hoops. Low maintenance – I could put them in and forget about them. For over 15 years, that’s what I did.

Saturday evening as I felt my earlobe while washing my hair, I noticed its absence. And the floodgates opened.

I sobbed and cried and sniffled and snorted.

Then I ate half a bag of Garden Salsa SunChips, went to bed and woke up with excruciating heart burn at 4:30 in the morning. [Lesson learned: Sun Chips are awesome. In moderation. Half a bag? NOT moderation]

Sunday, I woke up feeling heavy hearted and bloated (all that sodium, yo), but resolved that I would go to the mall and try to find a pair of earrings. They wouldn’t, couldn’t, be the same. But maybe I could find something.

Well… I found the exact same earrings. The EXACT SAME. They were marked down on an amazing JC Penney sale, and so then? I bought a purse too. A purse nearly the shade of green apples that I so adore. And then? I went to Sephora and tried many fragrances and picked up some dry shampoo. And then? Panera for a toasted bagel. And then? The grocery store for some apples because the kids wanted some and I will always make an extra stop when the kids want fruit – and did I mention how much I love the color of green apples?

My mom said to me Saturday when I was so upset, that my grandmother was watching me from above – smiling down at me. “Can she throw me a pair of earrings?” I replied jokingly. But, even though I’m not necessarily one to believe in “signs”, I half wonder if somehow, someway the universe was telling me to slow down and to give myself a break. Perhaps, retail therapy isn’t the most effective way of dealing with struggles, but it did make me treat myself to a little sunshine during a virtual rain. And yeah, that purse? It makes me tremendously happy. With that joyful color, how could it not?