Archives for January 2008

I really miss weekends being weekends. I miss the distinction between a Saturday and a Tuesday, let’s say. Lately, there isn’t one, and it’s kind of a bummer. This weekend is a National Guard Drill weekend for Hubby – it means he’s working long days both today and tomorrow. This means that like any other day, I’m on full mom-duty from 6 a.m. to when he gets home. It’s kind of tiring.

Fortunately, my mom gave me some downtime today, taking the girls for a few hours so I could veg and run some errands. Tomorrow, she and her husband will take The Princess out to lunch with them – at a time that somewhat corresponds to Pumpkin’s nap (whoo hoo). I do so appreciate the break from the routine and the stress.

I will find my groove for the tax season. I’ve done it before, and I know I can find it again. We are early in the process and right now, frustration is running high. I feel drained, I feel like I’m running low on patience, and to be honest, I’m not happy about that. I don’t feel like I’m being the best mom I can be these days, and that sucks. This morning, I found a load of laundry that Stepson had pulled from my dryer four days ago and never mentioned – of course, now it is a big wrinkled mess. I was so frustrated by the mess, by the fact that it never occured to someone to just fold the damn sheets – or to even carry the laundry basket in the living room so I could fold them. In the midst of my frustration about the sheets, I was clearly mad, and I said out loud, “WHY can’t anyone just help me with this?!?!” to which The Princess responded, “Mom, sometimes you’ve just got to ASK for help.”

And she’s right. I’m really going to have to get better about asking for what I need because clearly wrinkled sheets bothers only me. The sink full of dirty dishes isn’t making anyone else crazy. The Cheerios ground into the carpet seem to only be driving me nuts. I can chase around these kids and clean up everything the second they drop it – but the sad fact of the matter is, in two minutes they’re going to be in another room, doing more damage, and I can’t just follow them around cleaning up after them all day. It gets too difficult, I get too tired of it. This morning, I swept the hallway – and not five minutes later, Pumpkin dropped a bag of animal crackers and started stomping them into the floor with her sneakers. And out comes the broom to sweep again. I have got to find the balance of keeping my home clean and organized, and not getting worked up about it (suggestions are welcome!).

I cannot get in a good mood today. I started out alright. I started out almost perky. You have to realize that that in itself is saying something totally huge because tax season has begun and I am on sole mom duty from 6:30 a.m. for the next 12 hours. Yes, Hubby leaves for work at 6:30. This means that I get virtually no break in my day until the munchkins fall asleep (which on a good day is at about 8 p.m. – but good days are somewhat few and far between these days, as far as sleep goes).

Hubby headed off for work, my best friend arrived with her two girls. Fine. I mean, shoot – I was even perky enough to make HOMEMADE buttermilk pancakes for my girls this morning. I know my mood wasn’t all gloomy from the start. The other girl I watch arrived, and it was fine. It was all completely fine until the girls went to wait for the school bus and L was riding The Princess’s scooter and wiped out just as the schoolbus pulled up. The girl was in a sobbing fit – I couldn’t just send her on the bus. She had apparently smucked her knees into our driveway – though they looked slightly scraped, there was no blood. She was, however, in pain – so I escorted her back into the house, got some ice for her knees and called her mom. Soothed L a bit, then had to load up my kids and L to go drive L to school (Something we don’t normally do).

Me and my kids then went on a short jaunt to Target. I let the girls each get something from the little Dollar Spot section, I then stopped in for a Gingerbread Latte (and the Starbucks dude said they have enough Sugar Free Gingerbread that they will probably be availble til mid-March… see, so far so good). We went home and The Princess opened her little craft kit that she picked out and I went to alphabetize our CDs. Yes, it’s completely and totally an anal thing to do – but Pumpkin tends to pull the CDs off the shelf and then we just shove them back whereever and now it’s such a mess I can’t find ANYTHING. While I was alphabetizing, Pumpkin apparently got into her sister’s artwork and The Princess started this screaming/sobbing thing.

And it all went downhill from there.

Because after that, The Princess ended up getting glitter glue on my iPhone (we got it off, but I was frustrated because I can’t entirely figure out why she had glue anywhere near my stuff – including my work paperwork just inches away). Then the girls were bickering, and it got to the point where I said out of frustration, “Oh! I want to run away from home!” (I know, I know – bad mommy…It totally made The Princess cry and I totally didn’t mean it, and really, where in the hell would I go anyway, really?! I’m not going anywhere!! I just sort of vented out of frustration). I realize NOW that the better thing might have been to leave the room and count to ten and come back, hindsight being 20/20 and all.

Ah, so… I calmed her down, and then told her that mommy had a kind of ugly moment there – and we made an effort to start fresh.

Twenty minutes into our fresh start, The Princess’s friend and the girl’s mom showed up in our driveway asking if they could have her for the next four hours for a playdate. BY ALL MEANS. I explained to the mom that The Princess was probably relieved – that I’d had a cranky morning (Yes, I ratted myself out – because anyone with a kid old enough to talk knows the kid is going to tell everyone every embarassing thing there is to know so you might as well beat them to it). The mom was very sympathetic, as she also works from home – and she said, “Well, then this sounds like the PERFECT day for a playdate.”

Now here’s just hoping I can get Pumpkin to take a nap. I just need a few relaxing minutes on my own…

Hooooooooly cow.

In honor of my 500th post here at The Mom Chronicles, I’m gonna answer a bunch of random questions… and hey – if you have questions for me, I’ll answer ’em. Why not? What fun! I was trying to think of a big deal 5-0-0 thing to do, like another list about me, but I thought, naaaaaaaaah. I don’t have that kind of time today. BUT. It’s kind of a big deal.

Do you more often do what you want to do or what you feel you should do?
Definitely what I feel I should. I’m big on shoulds. And not that it’s ever a bad thing to try to do right by people, there are some days that it would be so nice to just fly by the seat of my pants and do… whatever.

What’s the most beautiful place you have ever seen?
I love San Francisco. In SF, there’s a place called The Palace of Fine Arts. I find this place to be so amazingly beautiful. (You may recognize it from the movie “The Rock” – it’s where Sean Connery meets his daughter before Nic Cage and the cops surround him). Love it. Something about it is just so absolutely aesthetically pleasing to me.

What is the worst date you’ve ever been on?
Back in oh….1995 (I think), a friend of mine hooked me up with a friend of his. On our first date together, we met downtown to see an outdoor concert and then the plan was to go to a movie. But then, something happened – I can’t remember what – I think his car wouldn’t start again? Something insane, and he had to go home, switch vehicles and come back (In retrospect, it sounds shady, but you’d have to know the guy to know it wasn’t – he just wasn’t a good planner!). I waited at a restaurant/bar, which was fine – I knew someone working, it was nice outside, and so I waited outside. While I waited outside, I was the only witness to a drunk homeless man passing out and smashing his head on the ground in the parking lot. Aw yeah. So, I ended up having to wait for police and ambulance people (as well as my Date!). By the time all that was done, we ended up seeing some random movie, and it was all just really weird. We did end up dating for a year and a half after that, but I’m not entirely sure why – because that first date should have been a BIG TIME omen.

Which old boyfriend would you love to spend 24 hours with?
I’m going to say G. Not that it has anything to do with him, per se, other than the fact that after we broke up we became amazing friends and it was all cool between us. But, he died a few years ago in an accident – if he was here for 24 hours, I’d spend it at his parents’ house – because I know they’d love to see him again.

Which celebrity do people say you resemble?
They don’t, because I don’t.

Do you sing when you’re alone?
You better believe it! I also sing when I’m NOT alone. I sing when my kids are with me (which prompts the, “BE QUIET, MOM!” comments that I so-adore). I love singing. I’m not saying I have any ‘skillz’, because I’m not delusional. I just like it.

Do you think you have any habits or mannerisms that remind you of your mother or father?
Unfortunately, I have my dad’s habit of going completely nutso when hungry. When I’m hungry, I cannot think, I cannot be rational, I cannot be productive. I just go BLAH until I eat. I’m a real joy to be around when I’m hungry.

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Alrighty, happy 500. If you have any questions for me, just pop them into the comments.

Edited to add Question(s):
If you were on your death bed, and I asked you: S, was your life a success ? If you answered “Yes,” why was it a success ? And if you answered “No”, what 5 things would you change, to make it a success.
Despite all my grumbling, I’d say it was a success. I love and I am loved and that’s really a huge deal. I have an amazing family (for the most part… you know how it goes!), and a roof over my head. It’s good.

Niki delurked with the question: What is your favorite thing about your life?
To be honest, my kids. They drive me up the wall sometimes, and can make me totally crazy, but they are the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s cool that they’re actually a part of me, walking around out there… yet, they are such individual people. Stupidly, I thought that when I had two kids from the same gene pool, they would be more similar, but I was so so so so wrong. While their differences can throw me for a loop (I got somewhat trained with The Princess, and now I’m completely gobsmacked (!) because Pumpkin is totally different…). It’s maddening at times, but the evolution from baby to toddler to preschooler to full-on kid? It’s SO cool.

The other day, Hubby and I took the girls out to run some errands. One of our stops was to Costco because the girls totally love the Horizon Organic Chocolate milk boxes (yes, I realize you can make your own chocolate milk at home, but the girls like these, and… whatever). They come in boxes of 18 at Costco, and seeing as how they really groove on these stupid little boxes, I decided to pick up a few boxes.

Knowing, as I do, exactly where the chocolate milk is – and because it was the only thing I needed, I didn’t opt to get a grocery cart. I just piled the boxes up in my arms, and carried them to the cashier. I had left Hubby in the car with the girls while I dashed in – I figured it would take three times as long to bring the whole crew.

The cashier rings me up, and then the guy who would normally refill the cart with the purchases asked me, “Do you want me to put these in a cart for you?”

Um, NO. I carried them this far. I can do it.

“Are you sure? They’re really heavy!”

As I told Hubby later, “I’m not a wuss-baby. I’m BURLY. I can lift my own freakin’ groceries.” Ugh.

When The Princess was a toddler, she was a dream child. Really, she was this amazingly articulate little being. She never really sounded like a baby, she was just this all around good kid when she was two. She never seemed like she was two, when she was two. She seemed older and beyond that whole toddler stage. She never even hit the “Terrible Twos” (Well, not until she was three – don’t ask me about that). Consequently, I’m always gobsmacked at how freakishly different Pumpkin is than her big sister [Note: Really, gobsmacked is a great word – let’s all make an effort to use it more, shall we?].

This morning, we made a trip to Target. Tax season is upon us and we were preparing a bag of “goodies” for Hubby that we’ll deliver to him Monday. We were picking up things like peanuts, protein bars, Tylenol, and Lysol wipes (to wipe down after clients come in!). Pumpkin was sitting in the back of the grocery cart, but at one point, she stood up and started leaning out of the cart to try to grab something off the shelf. At this point, I warned her, “Sit down, or you’ll go sit in the front.” I realize she should have been in the front to begin with, but I didn’t feel like fighting that fight when we got to the store – as long as she was planted on her fanny in the back of the cart, it was all good with me.

But. She wouldn’t sit back down.

Once, BFF and I saw a kid fall out of a cart and smack his noggin on the cement floor at Home Depot. I will never forget the sound it made and that big pause before the boy started screaming. BFF and I were still shaken by it well into the day. I’ve seen it happen, and I just didn’t want it to be my kid falling out of the cart.

She ignored my warning, I pulled her out of the back of the cart, put her in the front. And then. And then.

The screaming began.

Oh yeah. She did the full-on, scream at the top of her lungs right there in the ProteinBar/Nutritional Supplement aisle at Target. It was horrifying. I didn’t cave in though. I kept pushing the cart. And she kept screaming. Other people were giving me That Look, which I know, because I’ve given it to other moms before – that sympathetic, “Oh, poor you – so glad it’s not my kid” look. The screams went on, so I told her we were leaving, promptly hit the checkout lane and went to pay for our stuff.

The woman behind me was very sympathetic, and I told her, “I always wondered what on EARTH moms did when their kids threw fits like this! I was always so relieved it wasn’t my kid. There’s some karma for you.” She laughed and said, “Been there, done that! I have little ones too.”

We paid, I handed Pumpkin some Cheez-Its and life was calm again. My head has only now, three hours later, stopped pounding.

Today, The Princess has one of her kindergarten buddies over for a playdate. I decided last night to make gingerbread cookies so that the girls would be able to decorate them today. Let me just say that gingerbread is like crack to me. I don’t know when or how I developed this gingerbread addiction, but I remember last year when prepping for the cookie party that I kept nibbling on the little gingerbread cookie scraps, and again this year. And of course – the gingerbread latte habit I’ve developed.

Soooo… I made bunches of cookies last night, and I’ve eaten less than a dozen of them – which is not bad, right? The girls are decorating and making a mess – but they are having fun. I’ll send a bunch of them home with the Buddy so that we can get them out of the house and we don’t have to test my willpower too much more.

Must. Eat. Gingerbread.

I’m not even going to lie and say that I’m sad to see 2007 go. I’m not sad. I’m really glad that last year is over and a new year is beginning, and I am curious to see where this year takes me. For the things in ’07 that were so so wrong, there was a lot right, and I’m trying to focus on that because to do otherwise will just make me crazy, and the whole point is to keep moving forward.
So, to all my friends, family, loved ones – blessings to you and yours in the new year.

Much love & hope,
Sarah