Courtesy of Beth Fish of So The Fish Said… the latest round of interview questions (And seriously, amazing questions.)

1. Remember the movie Brewster’s Millions? That happens to you, except on a smaller scale. You receive a million dollars that you must spend in 30 days. However, you cannot have any assets to show for the money at the end of the month (and you can’t buy something and then destroy it), you cannot waste the money, you cannot give it away, and you cannot tell anyone what you are doing. How do you ditch the dough in a month or less?
Does paying off Hubby’s heinous student loan count as an asset? I have actually NEVER seen this movie, so, let me think of what I would do. First of all, I think I need a helper. This person’s official title shall be COFFEE BEEYATCH. He or she will do an early morning Starbucks run (with my reusable mug) daily so that by the time my munchkins roll outta bed, I’ve got a hot cappuccino ready for me. Of course, this is a crucial job, and this person should make some astronomical sum of money (I think I’ll prepay the CB to cover his or her services after my moohlah is gone). I’m going to help my team meet our donation goal for the Avon Two Day Walk (Shameless plug). I think my daughter’s first grade class needs a super cool field trip and they’ve been slacking on the field trips because of the money factor – so anonymously, of course, the kids are gonna go somewhere fabulous. I also think I need to hire an Automotive Assistant who will be responsible for my car maintenance for life (prepay that sucker too). Oil changes, detailing (holy car-bage in my car right now!), car washing, filling the tank with gas? NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE. And then I think I want to travel a bit. I am sure I can squash the remainder of money going places, seeing and doing things (but not buying anything).

2. You are locked in a toy store overnight, with no way out until it reopens in the morning. What do you play with all night?
I am going to find the Nintendo DS’s and curl up on a big pile of stuffed animals playing goofy games. Because I’M A DORK.

3. If you could have a dinner party with any three famous people, living or dead, you would be wasting your supernatural powers on hosting dinner parties. What would you do instead?
With my three living or dead people? I would bring Jonathan Larson back to life and have him write something as amazing as “RENT”, because I love RENT. Then I would also invite Jack Johnson so I could sit on his lap while he taught me how to play guitar (or not) and of course he would be so captivated by my supernatural powers that he would probably insist that I move to Hawaii with him (yes, my supernatural powers are awesome like that that they get me out of winter climate into the warmth of the Hawaiian sun – jealous, no?). And I would bring my grandmother back so that she could be at my sister’s wedding in October, because I think she would loved to see my sister grow up.

4. What’s the best thing since sliced bread? Now, sliced bread ain’t all that impressive, so what’s the best mediocre, hum-drum improvement or advancement that has made modern life just ever so slightly more convenient for humanity, along the lines of saving yourself five seconds every time you want a piece of bread.
Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. I use them for everything. They work for nearly everything. They are cheap, but my god, they really are magic (Mr. Clean people: see me plugging for you? Think maybe you oughta send me some freebies?!).

5. What’s your best quality? The response to this question must be a simple declarative statement. You may elaborate on that statement, provided that your elaboration does not include the words “but,” “however,” or “although,” or any other hedging, equivocating, back-sliding, gerrymandering (which is not at all appropriate in this context, but I think it should be, don’t you?) or any other type of backing down from the simple declarative statement with which you began your response.
I have a creative mind and use it often.