1. You could get mad at the universe but it wouldn’t do much good because the universe don’t have time for your shizz, and just pull up your big girl panties and deal with life. Or something. I don’t know. I am trying so hard to breathe deep and make each day better than the day before – because I am at a point where I can be mad at the world or I can just plow through it and get stuff done. I have so much to be grateful for, so it may seem ridiculous for me to get mired so deeply in the muck – but make no mistake, finding out you’ve got some degenerative retinal condition that is ultimately going to rob you of your vision has an amazing capacity to make one bitchy.
2. And I know I could do better. Should do better. I know that I have not received a death sentence. I know that life just keeps on moving on. I know that there are people who are facing really HEINOUS AWFUL THINGS. But this is heinous and awful TO ME. And I get to be upset about it.
3. But not all the time. Because you know what? There’s still a lot to do in life besides feeling sorry for myself.
4. So, how about them people who play baseball? (I don’t watch baseball)
5. I am typing this on a MacBook that doesn’t really want to work anymore and ugh computer shopping – that should be fun, right? (Remember this is the year of the dying washing machine, dying refrigerator, blah blah blah.) SO over replacing the broken things. My wallet is so over replacing the broken things.
6. But there are books to read, and waffles to eat and sunsets to discover.
7. I am a work in progress. I am flawed. And somehow in the midst of all of that, I am still someone who is going to make things happen, who is going to do amazing things, who is going to SHINE. I don’t always feel that way. I usually don’t. I have to talk myself into talking myself into things.
8. As you might imagine, my brain is an interesting place these days. What a year it has been. What a year.
9. But on a positive note… there is a vibrant dendrobium orchid in a jelly jar on my dining table and it is beautiful.
10. Every little thing is gonna be alright.
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