Dear lovely Internet,
It is Christmas eve and I am waiting to bring my girls home so I can tuck them into their beds and they can fall asleep with the thought of Christmas running through their heads – one a believer, one not so much – both still eager to wake up on Christmas morning to see what there is to see. Stockings filled with treats, presents under the tree, and a trip to my mom’s where we’ll open more gifts, eat traditional monkey bread, and spend time with family.
I have had a hard time finding Christmas joy this year – and I know that I’m not alone. I know it because I’m seeing it in status updates on Facebook, in your pictures on Instagram, and in blog posts and tweets. Something about this year has hung heavy on so many of us, and finding the joy of the holiday has been difficult.
And even now, with Christmas officially just hours a way, I still struggle to find the joy and the magic that usually has me as eagerly anticipating Christmas morning as my daughters do. I’ve come to terms with it, pretty much, that maybe this year is just meant to be the year I take a break, breathe in and breathe out, and just absorb the moments and keep on looking forward at what is ahead.
Do not mistake my lack of spirit as a lack of appreciation for all the gifts in my life, though. I am blessed. I am loved and I am cared for and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t realize it, that I don’t thank my lucky stars for it. This knowledge makes my lack of Christmas enthusiasm easier to tolerate.
On Christmas eve, if you find that you are having trouble finding the joy, the wonder, the magic, the light… know that you’re not alone. Know that I’m glad you’re here. Know that we have all of these new days ahead of us, days stretching wide and full of the kind of magic that need not be wrapped in paper and tied with string.
It’s been an…interesting year. For me, and maybe for you, and maybe that’s what our gift is – that we’re getting through it, that the world didn’t end, and that we get to wake up and start fresh in the morning.
I look forward to waking up tomorrow morning. I can’t wait to see the enthusiasm with which my daughters face the day. I can’t wait to hear their laughter ring through my home. I can’t wait to see toothy smiles and bright-eyed faces. And that is my gift, as well.
Whatever the day is or means to you, know that I wish you joy. I wish you well. I wish you peace and love and twinkly lights. I wish you candy canes and reasons to smile. Most of all, I wish you friendship and love.
Merry Christmas.
Love, Sarah
P.S. This is one of my favorite Christmas songs introduced to me by a friend of mine a few years ago (I know it’s older than that, but I HAD NEVER HEARD IT until she mentioned it). I think it’s pretty. So, I’m also wishing you pretty harmonies and lyrics you can’t understand.
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