I opened up this page to write a new post. I typed some words. I deleted some words.
I wanted to share. I didn’t want to share.
That’s life these days – there are details that spin through my head – things I’m learning and adjusting to and it’s a different sort of life and it’s okay. And I’m doing it. I’m getting by. The kids are doing well. And who knows, things may snap into place as new routines are created. Sometimes I doubt my ability to carry me and the girls through – but I keep putting one foot in front of the other and things keep getting done and we get through each day no worse for the wear. I may wonder if I am able to do it, but here I am, doing it.
Not that any of it’s easy. Surely there are things I could do better (I am slowly improving with respect to my grocery shopping skills, but OH I HATE IT SO MUCH).
But for the days that are tough, we are really doing okay. Me and my kids, we’re okay.
I type that, and I read the words over again.
Are we really okay? I ask myself.
Yes. Yes, I think we are okay.
I think these moments of doubt are natural and if they’re not, if other people don’t question their own strength, if they don’t question their abilities, if they’re not stressing about how they will accomplish everything, well… maybe something’s wrong with them. Maybe I’m the one who has it right.
The above photo was taken at a cocktail party I shot last week. Those are not my drinks. Nor did I have to wash those dishes. Thank god.