Archives for August 2009

Where My Heart Breaks In A Million Pieces*

Soon, my best friend and her husband are gonna get in the car and drive several states away and start looking to start new lives approximately seven hours driving from here. At least, I think she said seven. To be honest, I kind of stopped listening when she said she was going because I really don’t want to think about it. If I ignore it, that means it’s not happening, right?

{My avoidance techniques – they are not to be rivaled}

When I moved to Michigan, she was one of the first people I met. I remember calling her house for the first time. Her mother answered and said, “Sarah? I have a daughter named Sarah.” And in the years that followed, my family became her family, her family became my family – and the two of us? Like sisters.

And all these years later (I’m not doing the math for y’all, but it’s been a LONG LONG TIME), we’re still tight, we’re still close friends, and if she were to be somewhere else – if she weren’t here? There will be a hole here. Something will be missing for sure.

You know, that’s not to say that it’s been perfect over the years. We’ve both done stuff that has caused the other person to roll their eyes, or shake their head in befuddled confusion (And I’m not just talking about our hair and wardrobe throughout the 90’s – I’m talking real stuff, too). But… always, always, we manage to come out beyond that. There are things I could say that would mean nothing in the world to anyone – except her. And vice versa.

I was there within hours of her first daughter’s birth. Her kids call me Aunt Sarah. The thought of not being around to see Nutty Bar go on her first date, or to prom? It’s sad. But it’s not just the big things I know I’ll miss. I’ll miss our day trips to Ikea, I’ll miss how anytime we go anywhere in a car, she NEVER gets lost (unless I’m talking about something gross that distracts her – in which case, yeah, she might miss her exit – but that’s totally excusable, because HELLO? Distraction DOESN’T COUNT).  I’ll miss lunches over baskets of chips and salsa. I will miss the two of us getting nasty when the stupid waitress doesn’t card us (surely she needs laser eye surgery because WE LOOK TOTALLY UNDER 21. Heh). I’ll miss walks around the lake (she won’t miss how halfway through I start talking about sandwiches). I miss having someone who knows my history – who feels joy when something awesome happens in my family, and sadness when things are amiss. She’s been my FAMILY for so long, even my grandparents have a pet name for her.

The economy in Michigan sucks.

It does. It sucks so hard.

I can’t fault the need to find a better way of life for herself, for her husband, for her family.

But it doesn’t mean I have to like it.

A piece of my heart may be moving away. And I am not happy about it at all.

*Really. I counted.

Thursday Ten: Good Causes Lead Me To Golf Courses Edition

1. As some of you know, last Tuesday would have been the birthday of my college roommate who died of cystic fibrosis several years ago. It’s an ugly disease, and brutal and every year around this time, I miss her.

2. This leads to seeing someone from a local chapter of CFF (Cystic Fibrosis Foundation) asking for volunteers for a golf outing today in west Michigan. I was able to work my schedule around it and spent the day selling 50/50 raffle tickets at the first hole. I can’t think of a better way to spend my day. What an amazing group, an amazing group of people. I am thrilled to have been able to give my time, and look forward to staying involved.

3. Music – I have had an oldie stuck in my head for days: “Don’t Walk Away” by Jade. Remember this song? It screams high school for me. I love it. So, of course, I had to redownload it. Also – do you remember Shai? Yeah. Kicking it old school this week, I suppose.

4. Hey- just a few more days til Chris Mann’s EP comes out on August 11. I ran into him again in Chicago and fortunately didn’t reprise my total social ineptitude that I displayed in Nashville. He’s a nice guy and I love his voice… so, be sure to check him out on Tuesday.

5. I am still working on “Outside” by Staind in guitar. And actually… it’s not going too badly. Yay!

6. My sister’s wedding is in 59 days. HOLY COW. I picked up my dress the other day and now I need to find someone to alter it pronto… or my boobs need to grow super fast. It fits darn near everywhere else. It’s somewhat sad, and by sad I mean: LIFE ISN’T FAIR!

7. I also learned a new chord in guitar tonight – F#m – and it’s the first chord I’ve learned so far that I’ve needed to use my left thumb and it feels completely awkward. Just when you think you get use to all the weird whacky ways you need to tweak your fingers to make things “go” – another funktastic one gets tossed into the mix. Oy.

8. Fun time waster of the week? ColorSplash for the iPhone. Suuuuuuper neat. It’s about $2. Give it a whirl.

9. The iPhone update yesterday borked my phone and restored original settings. {sad face} I heard of a few other people who had the same experience. No fun, Apple. I had to spend a whole twenty seconds picking new wallpaper. My life will never be the same again. <insert stompy feet here>

10. I have had a craving for two days for homemade ice cream sandwiches – soft peanut butter cookies with vanilla bean ice cream in the middle. Need to make that happen. Soonish.

I Remembered The Cake

Though I felt like I was scrambling around, I have to say the bridal shower? It was pretty awesome. I prefer a more behind-the-scenes role, so being up front and center? It was a bit outside of my comfort zone, but the shower was well-attended, the food was eaten, the cake was perfection, and the bride’s smile lit up the room.

What more could I ask for, right?

So, imagine my surprise to find out that at one particular table, two of my aunts and two of my cousins were criticizing basically every facet of the event – from A to Z, apparently in their eyes NOTHING was right. BAH.

I’ve been annoyed since hearing about it. Not that I have never left an event thinking of what could have been done differently.  But I have never sat at a table, still eating the food provided for me by my hostesses, disparaged the event from top to bottom within ear shot of close friends of the key players.

Not the nicest move.

But you know what? When all is said and done, what matters is my sister had fun. And I’m completely happy with the result.

Where I Get A Smidge Stressed


My sister’s bridal shower tomorrow and as the official hostess, I am now entering into a slightly panicked zone because methinks perhaps I should have been more organized in the weeks leading up to this, instead of just kind of kicking around thoughts and saying to myself, “I’ll get to it later.”

Cuz later? It’s HERE.

I hate bridal shower games so I’m doing a quiz – who knows my sister best — only… I haven’t made up the questions yet and I don’t have her answers yet. I have to get paper and pens together. And OMG – what if I forget to pick up the cake? I still have appetizers to make and a TON of food to transport. One of the other bridesmaids never did get back to me to confirm that she indeed had everything she needed to make the punch (fortunately, if this one falls through the cracks, we’ll be able to do beverages at the facility. Thank goodness).

I have to get there and make it look okay-ish. And I’m kind of worried about that, but then again, I don’t want to be. I want this to be a celebration for my sister for an exciting time in her life and I hate that I’m freaking out about stupid stuff. Her future inlaws threw her a very nice shower a few weeks ago (the exception to the “very nice” part being that they served carrot cake – BLEEEECH). And so I wanted to make sure that her family represented her well and had a nice little shindig in her honor.

But I think my brain wants to explode.

Wish me luck tomorrow – and if you see me on Twitter – REMIND ME TO PICK UP THE CAKE.