TRYING to Move Past the Guilt

I’ve recently decided that the pain was starting to outweigh the guilt.

The pain of nursing Pumpkin, that is.

After nearly 8 months of exclusively feeding her breastmilk (sorry for my friends who get skeevy at the thought!), the past few months of mastitis have caused such tremendous pain that I have decided that we will start the process of weaning. I’m on my second round of (useless) antibiotics, and folksy remedies don’t appear to be helping either.

Sunday, I gave Pumpkin two ounces of formula and she gleefully sucked that bottle dry and looked at me like, “More?”

Yesterday, it was like pulling teeth to get her to take even an ounce.

Today, she took an ounce… then stopped.

My aim was to replace was feeding each week with formula – do this gradually and kindly. But – it’s not working so well. My mom suggested I might need to try another type of bottle (we are using Avent bottles, as that is what we had left from The Princess – who took them fine). I will be shopping and finding another bottle to try – any recommendations?

This momstuff is riddled with so much to feel good and bad about – nearly 8 months is nothing to be ashamed of – I’ve really done quite well. The Princess only nursed for 5 months (I weaned because with working full time outside the home while she was in daycare, I just couldn’t keep up with her demand). The Princess, if you don’t know her, turned out JUST FINE. Getting three more months of breastfeeding with Pumpkin was a huge accomplishment and I’m blessed I was able and willing to do that… but now that I’m ready to wean, I’m actually having more guilt that it’s so hard. When she took that bottle so well Sunday I felt, Wow – I was worried for nothing! And since subsequent attempts have not gone as well, I am back in the depths of the guilt – How dare I do this to my baby? She obviously doesn’t want formula?

I am having a hard time being cute and witty – would love suggestions, recommendation and support from those who have spent time in these trenches and lived to tell about it!

Thanks so much!!

About sarah

Sarah is a book nerd, a music lover, an endorphin junkie, a coffee addict. Oh, and a goof ball. She writes, she tweets, and she sings off key.

Comments

  1. Let dad feed her.

    I so understand the pain thing(but only because my baby got so many teeth so early), so if weaning is the option you’ve chosen, then recruit dad!

    I found that I could NOT wean mine without DH’s help, and she wasn’t weaned until nearly two years old… not what you wanted to hear huh?

    ANYWAY, I wouldn’t go out buying tons of pricey bottles, I would be mixing breastmilk with the formula, to encourage her to drink by taste.

  2. Maybe I’ll have to postpone weaning til after tax season, huh?

  3. Anonymous says:

    I second Crystal’s suggestions. And maybe try different types of formulas. Surely each brand taste different (I’ve never tried them, so I’m assuming).

    Definitely feel very proud that you did it at all, let all 8 months ! Good job Mommy !!!!

    It’s a process, so it might take some time. But you will wean her, she will be fine, and you deserve a big pat on the back for doing it for 8 months with an older child to juggle as well. 😉

    Hugs to you. (((((Sarah)))))

    ~Lisa

  4. Farm Wife says:

    The milk mixing thing worked well for Baby Girl. And she was a fan of Playtex Nursers. #1 Son would only take the regular skinny bottles (like lov’n’care). B.B. would only take a cup, never a bottle. Nuby has a cup with a soft lid like a bottle, that’s what he prefered. You might try that. Then weaning from the bottle won’t be an issue later. My cousin weaned her baby straight to the cup at about 9 months.
    Good luck. It’s a tough job, but with chronic mastitis it will be well worth it!

  5. Thats a very good point. Maybe you should try weaning her to something more like a cup than to a nipple(bottle). I know A did well with those cup attachments for the avent bottles. I forgot all about that til DH just told me.

    Big hugs to you. I think breastfeeding is wonderful if you can do it.

  6. I left a panicked voice mail for the doctor – lol! “I can’t wean my baby – she won’t take a bottle! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!” Still no call back, but true to form – as soon as I left a message, I got her to take a bottle (same ol’ Avent ones we’d been using) with a 50/50 mix of breastmilk and formula (A different kind that I had a sample of – coincidentally the same one we used for The Princess before we realized she was lactose intolerant). I laid her on the floor and she played with a toy in one hand and drank the bottle – like I was “there” but “not really there”. We’ll try again tomorrow and if it goes well, I’ll progressively increase the formula and decrease the milk.

    It’s like science, isn’t it?

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