Finding Your Equal…

This morning, I took the girls to a co-worker’s house to meet up with two gals I worked with before all the stuff hit the fan (restructuring) and before all our babies were born. You see, our Marketing department was a group of fertile-mertles. The joke was, “Want to get pregnant? Go drink their water.” Last year, I was due early-August, T was due in October, and C was due mid-December. Three of us pregnant at the same time, and once we started having the babies, we all somehow found ourselves without full time jobs.

No matter.

Today, for the first time, the three of us got together with our girls (I also brought The Princess, and C has an almost-2-year-old as well) at C’s house. While C and I get together occasionally, I hadn’t seen T since the birth of her cutie-patootie back in October. Of course, T was immaculately put together and styled and looking great. C and I were in the sweatshirts and jeans mode. Styled hair? What’s that! Makeup? Really?

Being in C’s house was as comfort to me as well. When The Princess was born, I was able to stay on top of cleaning, as well as take good care of her (while I was on maternity leave anyway!). With two kids (one rapidly becoming mobile and getting into everything), my housecleaning method has become less “make-the-floor-so-one-can-eat-off-it” and more “put-things-where-the-baby-can’t-reach”. This means that while there isn’t much on my floor that can be construed as a choking hazard, it means there is now so much crap on the couch, the chairs, the tables, counters and shelves. Everything is still there making clutter – it’s just… Up.

C gets that. I found comfort in the syrup on her dining table and the rolled up dirty diaper on the changing table (it wasn’t that bad – it was just pee!). The toy clutter in her son’s play area was ideal for he and The Princess to have a blast coloring and playing. The living room was strewn with baby paraphanelia – swing, saucer, floor gym, you name it. It just felt like the kind of place where you didn’t feel like you had to pretend to be the Martha Stewart mommy, and you didn’t have to worry about “Oh no, what if Pumpkin spits up on the sofa?” Definitely not “messy”. It was lived in.

Sometimes, as parents we have to make priorities and sacrifices. Sometimes you need to hold a baby, or reassure the big kids. Get dinner on the table and change diapers (and bless C, with her two kids in diapers – she’s always having to change someone’s pants!). And by golly, if you don’t get to make your furniture sparkle, or your floors hospital-clean, well, that’s a choice you make. It’s the choice I’ve made anyway. And apparently C as well.

I’ve had to console myself that for the time being, I have to have priorities, and my house can’t always be top of that list. Actually, my house may not even fall in the top 5 on that list. And I have to learn to make that okay. No one is ever gonna walk in my house and feel like they need to spray themselves with Lysol when they leave… but I’m sure they won’t feel intimidated by my prowess with a duster (don’t own one) either.

And that has to be okay.

About sarah

Sarah is a book nerd, a music lover, an endorphin junkie, a coffee addict. Oh, and a goof ball. She writes, she tweets, and she sings off key.


  1. Ah, sweetheart, isn’t it the life?

  2. That’s my house. The toys are off the floor so the dogs won’t eat them. The sink is full of dishes and the laundry hasn’t been folded in 2 days. Do I care? Yes. Will I do something about it? Someday, but not today.

  3. “So quiet down cobwebs
    Dust go to sleep,
    I’m rocking my baby
    And babies don’t keep.”

    Your post reminded me of this poem. I’m not sure who wrote it, but I’ll bet it was a mom like you or farm wife…one who had her priorities straight.

  4. Love the poem, Cate!!

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