Archives for 2018

Dear Pumpkin,

As of just a few minutes shy of 6 a.m., you are officially a teenager.

Holy moley.

I don’t even know how that happened or where time went (I know, I say that every year). We are just a few weeks shy of the beginning of eight grade and you are so excited for school to start. Admittedly, it hasn’t been an exciting summer. I’ve been busier than usual and we’ve been unable to find time to get away just yet. But in addition to the boredom, you miss your friends.

This is the year you’ve found your tribe. I’m so excited for you – it’s such an awesome thing to find your people and to develop those friendships. You’ve found a delightful group of creatives and big thinkers and I’m so glad for you to have found that. So you’re ready to get back to school and begin the new year, this last year of middle school (YIKES).

I have two teenage daughters. Whoa. And it’s been an adventure – I won’t pretend that there aren’t some moments that make me want to roll my eyes or pull my hair out. I’m sure you girls have those kind of moments about me, too. But I like seeing who you are becoming.

You are a straight A student. A creative writer. You are terrified you might accidentally plagiarize someone even though you pride yourself on your originality. You are worrisome. You are bold in thought. You are comfortable disagreeing with people. You are passionate about doing what’s right. You wish people were nicer to honey bees. You love English and don’t love math. You want to be on stage some day and have taken voice lessons this summer. You seem to keep forgetting how to do laundry. You are on that line where you struggle with wanting to grow up and wanting to be a kid. You are loving. You want your space. You are an empath. You love Broadway showtunes. You want to travel someday (and now).

I’m really excited for you, about you. You are going to do big things.

This year was a year we’ll probably never forget. In March, you were walking across the parking lot at school and you were hit by a car. (I know you know this, but by the time you read these letters you may have forgotten when it happened). Anyway, in March you were hit by a teen driver who somehow didn’t see you crossing. (I don’t know how, I really don’t). I will probably never forget the call as long as I live, your sister calling to tell me you were fine but that you’d been hit by a car. She was sobbing, so of course I couldn’t really believe you were fine. My coworker drove me to the hospital and I beat the ambulance there – and the wait was torturous. I just needed to see you.

And of course, since I’m writing you this, obviously you WERE indeed fine. They were able to rule out an ankle fracture though it was quite deformed (and badly sprained) and you spent the next several weeks on crutches physically recovering, while I remained an emotional wreck. I mean, I’m still a wreck, if you must know. The whole time, you had such a good attitude. You never seemed upset or mad. You had a performance for your Odyssey of the Mind team two days after wards. Anyone would have understood if you didn’t show up – but you were there, wheeling on a knee scooter, showing up and being there for your team despite the pain you were in. And a week later, you were on stage in your school play – ON crutches that were three inches too tall for you! – because you still wanted to be a part of it all. I don’t know if I can even explain how proud I was of your ability to push through it all – and stunned, too. You could have taken the easy route, but it never even crossed your mind.

I really admire that about you.

You are strong and you stand your ground and for that reason, you can be difficult sometimes but I know how well that will serve you in life (even if it’s a challenge now!).

I’m very excited for you, for this year, and for what is ahead.

You are an amazing dreamer, and daring creative, and a beautiful soul. I love you so very much.

Happy birthday, sweet girl. I’m so lucky to be your mama,

Love,

Mom

Dear Princess,

Today you are sixteen years old – this is a huge milestone. In fact, I debated for awhile: Is this the birthday where I give her all of these years worth of birthday letters? I started thinking, you see… I realized that all along I have been thinking I’d give each of you girls your letters on your 18th birthday. Recently it hit me that your 18th birthday will also be just a few days after you graduate from high school. Seems an awful lot of emotion all at once… but, I think that’s the way it’ll be.

Every year seems to go by faster. As I type this, you are days from the last day of your sophomore year of high school. You’re a good student and you nearly have a 4.0 (Honors Chem is the only thing standing between you and that 4.0 you want so badly – you have busted your tail in this class this year… and you hate it). You’ve loved Honors Choir and you’ve had a few opportunities to shine on the stage this year, in choir and in the musical. I always love to see you perform.

It’s been a difficult year for you, I know. You started last summer recovering from an injury that left you more behind than you wanted to be approaching the gymnastics season. And after recovering from that, you injured your back. Though you started the competition season as planned, pain made it difficult to practice and the few meets didn’t go as well as you hoped. It was a tough decision but I think it was wise when you decided to take the rest of the season off, focus on physical therapy and on healing. I hate that I didn’t realize sooner that it wasn’t getting better – but a trip to the sports med doctor this spring gave us a clear plan. A bone scan identified stress reactions along your spine. Apparently these are common in hyperextension injuries… hyperextension is pretty much gymnastics, so… You’re in a back brace for another week or two, mooooooooore physical therapy, and then – we’ll see? It’s made for a complicated perspective on gym – for now, you’ve been sitting out because you are benched from activity. I like having you home and selfishly I love not driving all over the place all of the time. Gymnastics has been good for you, but it’s been pretty great having you around the house, too.

Tomorrow, we’ll go get your driver’s license. You took the test on Friday and passed. In fact, the woman testing you said that she doesn’t see scores like yours very often. I felt so proud of you! You are a great driver. I know you were nervous about the test, but you rocked it. I can’t believe you’ll be able to drive – by yourself! I’m a little nervous, because that’s what I do.

You are insanely funny – witty, sarcastic, and you have an edge to your humor. You make me laugh daily.

You are also empathetic, kind, and encouraging.

This year, you participated in your first walkout. You raised your voice for change in a protest against gun violence. You were and are a fierce and outspoken advocate for change. Even when it’s not easy.

This year, your outspoken nature brought about a valuable life lesson: There will be those who are uncomfortable when you speak out; speak out anyway. It is not your job to make people comfortable. It’s your job to live your truth, and be the best person you can be. Your friends – your true friends – will want that for you.

So – two years of high school left. I’m already super emotional about it. But each year, I get more excited for you and the things you are going to do in this world. I have confidence that no matter what direction you choose to fly, you will soar.

Sixteen years ago tonight, I held you in my arms. And today, we celebrate you and the joy you bring to our lives daily.

I love you so very much and I’m very lucky to be your momma.

Happy birthday. <3

Love,

Mom