Dear Tooth Fairy:

Dear Tooth Fairy,

The Princess has been wiggling this tooth for a few weeks now. Today, she ramped up her efforts: wiggling, twisting, turning that tooth until one side came unanchored (is that a word, Tooth Fairy?) from her gum and the tooth hung crookedly by one side, roots exposed.

It’s been like a car wreck, Tooth Fairy. I’ve been watching her wiggle the tooth, blot away bloody gums, and try to numb the gum with ice so she could just yank the damn thing out.

She was finally successful thirty minutes past bedtime. She was supposed to be sleeping, but as I figured she would be, she was in her room with a book in one hand and the other hand wiggling that tooth.

She came downstairs to show me and then managed to drop it. We spent TWENTY MINUTES trying to find this tooth, Tooth Fairy – twenty minutes with a sniffling, sobbing kid with a bloody hole in her gum sobbing because without the tooth, she didn’t think you’d leave her any cash. I tried to tell her that I thought you would, that you would just KNOW that the tooth had fallen out and that you were kind of awesome and that you’d still come by. She was reluctant to believe me and said she hoped I was right because she was “kinda low” on money right now. Seriously. The seven year old is low on money.

Anyway, I found a lot of stuff in my efforts to find that tooth. Mostly saltine cracker crumbs. I thought those looked enough like a tooth that we could maybe fool you with a decent size crumb, but she wouldn’t let me. Eventually, I flexed my mama muscles, and moved the couch to the middle of the living room.


The tooth.

It’s now under her pillow, so could you make sure you DON’T FORGET TO COME AND LEAVE THIS KID SOME MONEY?

Also, I think maybe you should leave me a little something for my efforts as well. I like cash and peanut M&Ms.