Dear Pumpkin,
As I write this, you are talking to me about making sure we have blankets and bottles of water in the basement in case there is a tornado. There’s not currently any weather going on, but it’s what’s on your mind right now. You’ve definitely got my tendency toward worry and so I’m glad you’re telling me what’s on your mind, even if it’s stuff I can’t fix.
You’re fourteen today. Holy bananas. I still remember the day you were born, watching Mork & Mindy in the hospital with the doctor before you were born, not that there was much time for that. It was a fast labor, and an early morning and for years after, you were such a morning person and I always thought, “She’s just gonna be an early bird for all her life…” But you got trickier to wake up this year – yay teenagers!
You graduated from eighth grade this year and in a month, you’ll be heading off to your freshman year of high school. You really started to find your stride this year, you found a great group of friends, and you caught your groove. It was really lovely to see. You have this group of friends who are creative and weird and funny and I’m happy to see you with your tribe.
You continued to rock your classes, bringing home fantastic grades, seemingly without trying. I know that the rules and requirements – classes you have to take, things you have to do – annoy you. Authority is not your favorite thing. Well, you’re just not a fan for a rule without a reason. It’s not uncommon to explain something to you or tell you about a rule and have you respond, “Well… that’s stupid.” Yes. Sometimes the world is stupid. You don’t want to do something just because you should. You don’t want to just accept that something should be done because it always has been.
You are a theater nerd extraordinaire. You’re always listening to musicals on Spotify. You listen to stuff I’ve never even heard of. I feel like we should go see more shows.
You don’t like cleaning. Or doing laundry. Or cooking.
Singing is your favorite and you’ve had a lot of fun in voice lessons over the past year. It’s given you a bit more confidence and you’ve tried out for roles in shows at school – I was always too shy to do that. I am always so proud to see you go after what you want. This summer, you spent a week at theater camp and you came home at the end of each day just completely wiped out. The choreography was intense and I couldn’t believe that they were teaching kids such difficult stuff to learn in a week and yet you put in 110% every day and you had so much fun at show time.
You can be tough as nails and angry and grumpy.
You can be soft and vulnerable and loving.
I suppose those flip sides of the same coin should be expected when raising teenagers, and teenage daughters, at that – but the loving side is easier for me and I try to not be frustrated with the grumpy side because I know it will pass. (Am I successfully in my attempts to avoid frustration? Uh. Not always.)
I think you are just the neatest. You are lovely and you have the most magical blue eyes I’ve ever seen.
Last night you said to me, “Mom, you do a lot of jobs. You are our therapist. Our taxi. Our chef. You do a lot. We don’t even PAY you. Why do you do it?” I do it because love. Because I love you and your sister so much. I am so very lucky to be your momma.
Happy birthday, Pumpkin.
I love you.
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