Um. Hey dog. Don’t eat that. That’s not food.

Last week, the dog ate  hairbrush, a few socks, he ripped a hole in more than one shirt, he ate my slipper and an American Express bill. Last night, he chewed a branch so thoroughly that the little splintered pieces of branch made him throw up all over the living room carpet.

This owning a dog thing? Yeah. It’s… something.

If you’ll remember, I wasn’t the one desperate to add to our family. I was cool with the status quo. Great kids – both potty trained, both able to not eat paper off the table. Life was good.

And then?

I caved.

I caved and this pup came into our lives and it’s with a mixture of pure love for this new member of our family and revulsion while scrubbing puppy puke out of the carpet that I go through my days.

Puppies are HARD WORK.

And when Sir Pups-A-Lot (name changed to protect the naughty puppy that lives in my house) chewed through my AC adapter last night? I was not – I repeat, NOT – a happy camper.

What are you gonna do?

(Short answer? Fill the little puppy chew toy with peanut butter, sulk and stamp my feet around a bit and then spend too much money on a replacement adapter. )

This time of year, people keep talking about how their kids are asking Santa for puppies and it makes me cringe – because in case you didn’t know? Children LIE when they say they will do all the work. When they say that they will feed the puppy, take it on walks, scoop all the puppy droppings, and play with the dog — I’d say 80% of the time, that’s probably a lie (that percentage might decrease based upon the age of your children). Realize when you commit to getting  pet that they’re REALLY FREAKING DIFFICULT (I would have a plethora more babies before getting another puppy – babies? They’re just easier) and they’re not that cute when your favorite sweater now has a hole in the belly button region big enough to put your head through.

Luckus Fergus McPuppus (as he’s more formally known in our house) is not a bad dog, per se. He’s just a puppy. But I have discovered time and time again that puppies make me crazy. Chaos makes me crazy. Disorder makes me crazy. And most of all, standing outside in the dark at 6:30 a.m. in 24 degree waiting for a dog to find the perfect place to poo REALLY MAKES ME CRAZY.

But, we deal.

As best we can.

But, just take all that into consideration when your kids ask for a puppy for Christmas. If you’re not onboard with completely altering your life (at least for a while), this may be the better gift choice:

About sarah

Sarah is a book nerd, a music lover, an endorphin junkie, a coffee addict. Oh, and a goof ball. She writes, she tweets, and she sings off key.


  1. Oh! THAT’S what happened to your AC adapter. Did you beat Sir Pups-A-Lot with said chewed AC adapter?

    I KID! Really. It’s bad to beat dogs.You can go to jail for that stuff…not that you’d beat the puppy even if you wouldn’t go to jail. Right? Just agree with me on this one.

    This kinda goes along with what you’re preachin’:

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