Pumpkin’s at daycare/preschool for the very first time today and I am so thrilled for her and for me, and what an exciting day she’s going to have. I’ve been talking it up for a few weeks, what fun she’s going to have at school, what a big girl she is. This morning, we walked in the door as her “class” was getting ready to go upstairs for Circle Time. She joined them on their way upstairs, made a beeline for the My Little Ponies and that was all she wrote!
Yeah, I snuck by and gave her a kiss and tried to explain that Mommy would be back with The Princess when the bus brought The Princess home, but to be honest, I could tell Pumpkin didn’t really care – she was pretty involved with the ponies. While I didn’t want to force her to notice me leaving, I didn’t want to just disappear. I gave her a smooch on the cheek (which she paid no attention to) and left.
From there, I went to Target (to get Easter basket junk — Seriously, the whole Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy thing? Big mistake! Imagine how much easier life would be if we just never started with those lies in the first place??) and then to Starbucks. I caught myself noticing other moms with their kids, and then half smiling to myself thinking – “Heeeey, that’s not me today.” I also found myself starting to take the long way home as I sometimes do when I’m out with out the kids and they are home with Hubby. I realized that, WHOA, no one is home either – and took the regular route.
Now that I’m home, my kitchen is spotless, my dining room is alright, and my living room (if I would just fold all the loads of laundry I’ve done today) is looking good too. I had an awesome time on the treadmill today – zipping along while watching two episodes of Sex In the City (Season One… the oldies!). I’ve nearly caught up on my work, and my sister will be over in a bit to visit. I want to say that I’m bored, but I’m not. I mean, I didn’t even turn my computer on until after 12:30! That is unheard of for me, really (Okay, I cheated though, because I totally have been checking my email on my phone all morning…).
While I have a teensy-tiny bit of guilt that I’m here and Pumpkin is there, I am glad we’re doing this. I feel VERY good today. I feel refreshed. I feel almost carefree. I am loving the cleanliness that I’m surrounded by. I’m loving my productivity, and yeah, I miss my kid like crazy – but I bet she’s having an awesome day too.
Sounds lovely. When the kids first started spending every other weekend with their Dad, I hated it. Now I find myself looking forward to it. It’s wonderful to have that time to yourself. Of course per the mommy unwritten rule book the enthusiasm is laced with a wee bit o’ guilt.
Congrats to Pumpkin on her very 1st day of preschool !
Enjoy your kid-free time. Yay !
Lisa
That sounds awesome. Though I’ve dreamt of being a mom since I was five (did the whole sticking my teddy bear under my shirt thing back then), part of me is scared that I’ll be a crappy mom and regret giving birth to someone I have to take care of 24/7. But the idea of doing what you are doing so that you can take care of you and get re-energized to be a great mom to your kiddos when they are with you, well, that’s a fabulous idea. I like it so much that maybe I’ll just decide to be ready for motherhood soon. If there was some guarantee I’d love my children past (and through) the ages of 7-9, I’d be a whole lot more ready. That’s really the part I’m scared about. But that’s another story for another day…..
Katie was like that too, just up and away. She started in January and only goes Monday and Friday 9-12, but even that is heaven to me. Of course, I still have the little guy, but he still has a morning nap, so it’s almost like being alone.
Doesn’t it make you feel kind of drunk, when you truly get a few hours to yourself. I feel totally different when that happens. We can’t do it all, we really can’t and if that’s what it takes to just feel like a human being, then so be it. Plus the kids enjoy it. Maybe it’s the perception that we “should” be there 24/7 because we are home (I know you work too), but they have so much fun and don’t care at all, lol (Katie has been more hesitant this past fortnight, but hopefully it’s just a phase).