Not McDreamy and Not McSteamy…

…oh no. My Doctor today? McCreepy.

My primary doctor is notoriously difficult to get an appointment with, and so if something is urgent, some days I just don’t try – I will let the scheduling guru’s give me the first available appointment. Such was the case today. My antibiotics are working their magic kicking this sinus infection, but my eyes have been weird the past few days – red, goopy, hurty. I was thinking to myself, “Oh crap! I have pinkeye.” Who the hell wants pinkeye? So… I figured I had better get in to the doc today, rather than suffer through a weekend of waking up with my eyes stuck shut.

Dr. McCreepy is usually notoriously slow, or as his nurses say… thorough. The nurse came in, checked my BP (100/68 in case you were curious… and as my husband always asks, “How are you not dead?”), did the pulse jobby-doo, and then left. TWENTY minutes later, McCreepy walks in. He sat down, flipped through my chart (because you know, I only saw him a few days ago), didn’t say anything.

Finally, he asked my symptoms, and got out the little light shiner thing and gets in my face. He’s aiming the light at my eyeball and really leans in close to my face and then says…

“Wow, you have really pretty eyes.”

At this point, I just wanted to throw up in my mouth a little bit. What a weird thing to say when you are close to someone like that, and you haven’t bought them dinner first! Hello- he is this gross yucky older guy – if it had been my optometrist – hottttttt – or my dentist – way hotter! – I would have maybe gotten some tingly goosebumps from it, but this balding man with a big stain on his shirt really did not do anything but skeeve me out.

I wasn’t sure what to say and then he started in on a story about how I must have a brown eye gene and a blue eye gene, something he’s noticed with people whose eyes are like mine – brownish green or is it hazel – but it’s not really hazel because… OH. MY. HELL. This lead into him telling me about how he used to race pigeons and studying the correlation between the pigeon’s eye color and its speed.

And I so so so wish I were kidding. But I’m not.

It was excruciating. I left the office with a diagnosis of a bacterial infection in my eye (and NO, I apparently cannot catch a break this week), and a script for an ointment that none of our local pharmacies carry (so Hubby is going to have to drive 20 miles out of his way to pick it up for me).

Ugh. I am so over this week!!

About sarah

Sarah is a book nerd, a music lover, an endorphin junkie, a coffee addict. Oh, and a goof ball. She writes, she tweets, and she sings off key.


  1. Oh no! Creepy doctors bite!!

    It’s also nice to know there are other barely alive folks out there. My BP hovers around the 95/75 mark. After B.B. was born it was 66/44. I was fun that day…let me tell you!

  2. I’ve had a lower BP – and I tend to get pretty dizzy when it’s that low (66/44 is pretty low though – I don’t think mine has ever been quite that low.

  3. that is really funny. um, I mean creepy. I really cannot imagine but now I want his name so I can google him and then maybe see a picture. super creepy. The pigeon thing is really uh, off.

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Oh, and FYI, I’m sure my mom wouldn’t want anyone to know but her birthday is tomorrow (march 1st). She is ripe age of 56 (gasp!) yes, she really had me that young. She was almost a leap year baby but just missed it.

  4. alissasanderson says

    oooh, the creepy doctor! I’m so afraid of getting one that I always wait for an appointment with my doctor. Always!

    Feel better!

    Oh, and my BP is always low like that, too. Freaks people out sometimes…

  5. Niki – me and my oldest went to visit your mom last night bearing cookies 🙂

  6. happilykim says

    Ohh I feel sorry for him..He is a science geek. The are all very awkward people. I know this because I WAS one, too!!

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