Archives for February 2008

…oh no. My Doctor today? McCreepy.

My primary doctor is notoriously difficult to get an appointment with, and so if something is urgent, some days I just don’t try – I will let the scheduling guru’s give me the first available appointment. Such was the case today. My antibiotics are working their magic kicking this sinus infection, but my eyes have been weird the past few days – red, goopy, hurty. I was thinking to myself, “Oh crap! I have pinkeye.” Who the hell wants pinkeye? So… I figured I had better get in to the doc today, rather than suffer through a weekend of waking up with my eyes stuck shut.

Dr. McCreepy is usually notoriously slow, or as his nurses say… thorough. The nurse came in, checked my BP (100/68 in case you were curious… and as my husband always asks, “How are you not dead?”), did the pulse jobby-doo, and then left. TWENTY minutes later, McCreepy walks in. He sat down, flipped through my chart (because you know, I only saw him a few days ago), didn’t say anything.

Finally, he asked my symptoms, and got out the little light shiner thing and gets in my face. He’s aiming the light at my eyeball and really leans in close to my face and then says…

“Wow, you have really pretty eyes.”

At this point, I just wanted to throw up in my mouth a little bit. What a weird thing to say when you are close to someone like that, and you haven’t bought them dinner first! Hello- he is this gross yucky older guy – if it had been my optometrist – hottttttt – or my dentist – way hotter! – I would have maybe gotten some tingly goosebumps from it, but this balding man with a big stain on his shirt really did not do anything but skeeve me out.

I wasn’t sure what to say and then he started in on a story about how I must have a brown eye gene and a blue eye gene, something he’s noticed with people whose eyes are like mine – brownish green or is it hazel – but it’s not really hazel because… OH. MY. HELL. This lead into him telling me about how he used to race pigeons and studying the correlation between the pigeon’s eye color and its speed.

And I so so so wish I were kidding. But I’m not.

It was excruciating. I left the office with a diagnosis of a bacterial infection in my eye (and NO, I apparently cannot catch a break this week), and a script for an ointment that none of our local pharmacies carry (so Hubby is going to have to drive 20 miles out of his way to pick it up for me).

Ugh. I am so over this week!!

1. I have turned the corner. Eating is a go again. I am dressed in REAL clothes with my hair done, and even makeup on. I’m not one for having to be all done-up but after a week of looking like complete and total hell, it does feel good to look human.

2. My stylist gave me a sample of Aveda’s new Smooth Infusion style-prep stuff. Holy cow is that stuff AMAZING. I have naturally curly/wavy hair and it is so smooth and shiny and not greasy. Love it. Gonna have to fork out the cash to buy a full bottle.

3. Songs of the week: “Bust a Move” by Young MC. It’s classic and I’m not sure why it wasn’t in my music library until now. When you’re feeling down, you should definitely search your old school roots for a smile.

4. I have to go to Stepson’s school after The Princess gets on the school bus. Despite Hubby’s repeated reminders to “not forget your lunch!”… of course, he did. I hate Thursday mornings. Hubby leaves for work and I end up with six kids here, including Stepson while he waits for his school bus to come. His bus seems to get here later and later every week. I always tell him about five minutes before the bus is due to get his coat and get all of his stuff together… then he grumbles and moans about it. He sits back down, reads his book and doesn’t pay attention to what’s going on outside, until I finally look up and realize that duh, his bus has been sitting at the end of our driveway for I don’t know how long. This WILL be the last time I take his lunch to school. I didn’t even want to do it today.

5. Have I mentioned how much I am looking forward to getting out of town on Saturday?! I am. A lot.

6. I have the most kick-ass friends ever. They know who they are, they know what they’ve done. Love you guys!

7. Sometimes I get very mopey about stuff. I admit, I have been this week. But, you know – you get to breakdown, pick yourself up, dust off and move on. As Jon Secada oh-so-wisely said (oh, google him if you don’t remember his pop hits from the 90s): “Things are only as important as I want them to be…” Amen.

8. Now that I have an appetite back, I’m unstoppable. I’m freakin’ HUNGRY.

9. I have to go to the store after dropping of Stepson’s lunch. If my Starbucks still has gingerbread latte, I may do a really big happy dance. It would be a sign, for sure, that things are turning around.

10. Tomorrow’s Leap Day. I personally think it’s kind of dumb – and only remember Leap Day when I was in college. That was the day I flunked a pretty big Stats exam – so phooey on you Leap Day. I’m not sure the significance of it, but, whatever. Once every years is fine by me… I guess.

Oh my hell, what a week. It’s Wednesday, we’re halfway through and I’m so glad to be coming out on the other side of it. Being sick really takes a lot out of me – up until today, I really didn’t have much of an appetite. I would take a few bites of something, and my stomach would start feeling queasy, as if it were telling me, “Alrighty, you’ve had enough.”

Today, the queasy is finally gone. Thank god. I had breakfast, lunch AND dinner, and my god it feels so good to eat, and have a bit of energy. I did a slow 20 minute mosey on the treadmill – not that I really needed to after six days of not really eating, but because my workouts are my sanity-saver, and it’s been a week with lots on my emotional plate.

But, rather than dwell on this week, I’ll tell you that for all the weirdness and moping I felt on top of being sick, I’m alright now. Breakdown, get up, dust off, and move on. I’m dusting off right now, and feeling pretty alright. When I was feeling kind of down, my friends proved themselves (not that they had to) a hundred million times over, and I realized how truly blessed I am in my life to have good people.

One friend of mine and I spent Monday chatting, which triggered my Amazon purchase yesterday of both “Heathers” and “Reality Bites” (and preordering Counting Crows’ new cd which will come out at the end of March). I meant to look for “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” in addition to the other oldies I ordered, but forgot. As it is, it’s going to be a total fun-fest when my movies come – cannot wait to park my butt on the couch with a double feature of sarcasm and dark comedy.

This weekend, I’ve got plans to take a day trip with a girlfriend – be nice to get out of town. We’re going to Ikea – and nothing says happiness like storage for all my kids’ toys and a 99 cent ice cream cone.

I have yet ANOTHER sinus infection. After too many days of nausea and feeling like complete and totaly doody, I went to the doctor. He said that my allergies are crazy-out-of-control and that it’s causing me to have “recurrent sinusitis”. Blah.

I’m on antibiotics and I have an appointment with an allergist next week (I’m sure the Thursday ten will merely be a list of every freakin’ thing I’m allergic to) for three hours of scratched and poked. Can’t wait.

(Actually, a small part is half excited about my little outing out without kids – sad world, right? That getting stabbed with small needles and made to itch constitutes a day-out?!)

Anyway – a few days of feeling like hell, and a less than pleasant afternoon led to…

Fun IM’ing with a friend today which reminded me I need to find the movies: Heathers and Reality Bites (neither of which I could find at Target).

And this evening, I went to Target with my BFF, because we’re cool like that – for a little retail therapy. I got some new casual sneakers, I guess – because my old ones were bugging the hell out of me. I think I’ve had them for three years, and that’s far too long. My policy is to get rid of a pair of shoes when I get a new one (usually), so my yucky old ones are hanging in the trash right now, waiting for pickup tomorrow. And my new ones are adorable and spunky and make me forget I’m sick… at least temporarily.

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be? So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the Next button.
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool.
7. Don’t skip songs.

What I’m Listening to(tm):

(1) Opening credits: “What About” Janet Jackson
(2) Waking up: “Little Rock” Collin Raye
(3)First day at school: “Promise to Try” Madonna
(4) Fight song: “Landslide” Fleetwood Mac
(5) First Date: “All You Need is Love” The Beatles
(6) Breaking up: “Like I Love You” Justin Timberlake
(7) Happiness: “Take a Bow” Madonna
(8) Life is okay: “Snow Day” Lisa Loeb
(9) Mental breakdown: “Me Against the Music” Britney Spears (Yes, for mental breakdown – you can’t make that stuff up!)
(10) Driving: “I Like It” Blackout Allstars
(11) Flashback: “Build Me Up Buttercup” The Foundations
(12) Getting back together: “Hold On” Wilson Phillips (Oh! How embarassing!)
(13) Prom: “When I’m With You” Sheriff (Yeah, this woulda been prom in what? 1984?
(14) Graduation: “Elsewhere” Sarah McLachlan
(15) Wedding: “Who Knew” Pink
(16) Honeymoon: “Who Will Save Your Soul?” Jewel
(17) Birth of a child: “Kiss Off” Violent Femmes
(18) Final battle: “Pray Your Gods” Toad the Wet Sprocket
(19) Death scene: “Our House” Madness
(20) Funeral song: “Come Back to Me” Janet Jackson
(21) End credits: “Perpetual” VNV Nation

“I’m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.”
-The bitchy redhead in “The Devil Wears Prada”

This not eating stuff really sucks. I’m so so so hungry and everything sounds nasty, and I’m losing weight that if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t need to lose. I’m seriously contemplating a trip to a drive thru to get a milkshake (and I don’t do McDonalds). I need something. Too bad it all sounds absolutely disgustingly nasty.

Hubby made microwave popcorn for the kids the other night and it about made me want to toss my cookies (aka saltines, which is the core of my diet the past few days, with some oatmeal, toast and 7Up thrown in for good measure). The smell! Ack!

I’m very hungry.

My kids are with my mom and her husband. Hubby is at some golf convention that he has been planning on attending for the past week. I’ve soaked some of the yuck away in a super hot bath, and I don’t really look fit for public consumption but I’ve got cabin fever so bad. I have got the iPod on, jamming to “Read My Mind” by The Killers, and I don’t even have it in me to dance around the house (which I do normally do if no one is home — oh, fine, I usually do it even when people are home).

So, help me find some food people. What works on an upset stomach that has some substance to it but won’t make me throw up!?

1. I’m sick. I thought I was gonna feel better today, but I don’t. Pumpkin and I ventured out after the kids got on the school bus to get some groceries: saltines, 7Up, green tea, and lemon tea (oh, and a donut for Pumpkin – I give up today, all bets are off).

2. My fun website of the week: Passive Aggressive Notes. I had a roommate my senior year of college – we lived in this dumpy apartment that always smelled like the Malaysian food being cooked by our downstairs neighbor. She was the QUEEN of passive aggressive notes. Wish I’d have saved some (instead of squashing them and slamming them into the trash every time I got one) – because they would have been ideal for this site.

3. I felt like such hooey last night, I didn’t even watch the Project Runway reunion show. That’s sick.

4. I did however watch the past two nights of American Idol. Oh my hell, it was like watching paint dry. These early stages just go on far too long for me.

5. Song of the week: “Love and Addiction” by Counting Crows.

6. I have an appointment to get my hair cut tonight. As long as I’m not puking, I’m going. Just a trim, mind you, but winter is killing me – my hair, my skin – it’s all so dry. Need these ends chopped off. As an aside, I feel kind of bad that my sister is just a few weeks away from graduating cosmetology school and I’m still a bit nervous to have her cut my hair.

7. I cannot wait til the weather gets warmer. It’s 3 degrees today (or some hideously low number) and I am miserable. I can’t wait until it’s warm enough that I can take the kids out to play and not be cooped up in the house all the time.

8. The Princess was invited to have dinner with a buddy and her family tonight… at McDonalds. My girl is nearly 6 and has never been to McDonalds – except for one or two times, for an ice cream cone. This is a rite of passage, but one I’m happy to not have to join her on. I hate McDonalds.

9. Those PullUps that get cold when there’s pee in them? Doesn’t faze Pumpkin at all. She doesn’t care. Go figure.

10. Coming up with ten things to say when you feel like hooey is not easy. I’m about to put on some fuzzy slippers, curl up under a blanket and watch television with my kid all day. Not super productive, but it might be helpful.

…they laugh at us.

Today started fine, but transitioned into me feeling like I was on the verge of puking… for most of the afternoon. I hate being sick – especially when I’m the only one around to care for the kids. You can’t just take a nap when you have a two year old trolling around the house – the damage Pumpkin could do in a matter of minutes is insane.

I ended up putting the baby gate up in the hallway, keeping the girls confined to the playroom and their bedrooms while I lay on the floor of my office with a blanket wishing I were anywhere but curled up in the fetal position on the floor because I felt like I was gonna be sick. Of course, since it’s tax season, it’s not like I could call Hubby and have him come home early. So I cried. I cried because all I wanted was to sleep and feel better, and I couldn’t and I couldn’t figure out what to do and I made dinner for the kids and the smell of it made me feel worse.

Hubby was able to get home a smidge early and I was able to take a nice soak in the tub – the downside to that is when I came out, he was in the office with all the kids (Stepson is here tonight too) while The Princess was playing Webkinz, so rather than rest, I popped online and have been wasting time ever since. How can you rest with three loud kids thirtyish feet away? You can’t.

I’m hoping that I feel better tomorrow. And that it’s quiet. And that there’s no snow day, so that at least The Princess will be able to go to school and then I’ll be able to rest a bit while Pumpkin naps.

Never ask what could be worse than tax season. Apparently, I’m going to keep on finding out ways in which it could be worse.

Apparently last night by questioning if things could get worse, I tempted the gods of ha-ha-we’ll-show-her and made my night even more miserable. I got hit with insomnia. It has only happened a few times since I’ve become a mother. It kind of goes without saying that kids can easily run you into the ground so that at the end of the day, your body is taken over by exhaustion and sleep comes easy.

Every once in awhile, that’s not the case.

It would figure that last night, the night that our satellite (Freakin’ Dish Network) decided to act up and not function, would be the night where sleep would escape me. I tried reading, my eyes grew tired but sleep would not come.

I tried listening to music (I have a “Nighty Night” playlist on my iPod). Sleep would not come.

I went downstairs to watch mindless tv. The television was still not working (damn Dish Network). So, of course, sleep would not come.

Sooooooo, I booted up my laptop and signed on to my Instant Messenger. I replied to some email and thank goodness for the time difference between Germany and the United States because a friend was just starting her day as mine was stubbornly refusing to end. We had a nice chat, and my eyes grew too heavy to stare at the screen anymore, so I ventured off to bed.

Even so, I was up several times, and it took awhile to fall asleep. I awoke to the sound of the garage door opening and closing at about 5:30 this morning as Hubby left for work. Pumpkin was awake soon after. I am tired today, and don’t know how I will be able to make it through the day and not go nuts. I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes open. The Princess has a friend over, and Pumpkin is hanging with the big kids – the only thing that has been saving me so far. I am counting down the minutes until naptime though… Man oh man, do I want a nap too!!!