Archives for August 2006

Yeah. Uh-huh. You’re Dorktastic, Honey.

Me: Who was that on the phone, honey?

Hubby: That was Neighbor. He’s starting a fantasy football league.

Me: A wha- ?

Hubby: We’re going to get together at Neighbor’s house on Monday and that’s when we’ll have “the draft” and pick our players and we’ll track their stats for the season, and…

Me: Oh, so it’s like the jock version of Dungeons and Dragons?

Hubby: NO! It’s not! There’s a huuuuuuge difference between fantasy football and Dungeons and Dragons! (Pause). Guys who do fantasy football can get L-A-I-D. (Spelled because The Princess was in earshot, to which point she said, “Daddy, what does L-I-D spell?”) Lid, honey. It spells ‘lid’. Like the lid of the toilet.

Me: Nerd.

These Boots Are Made for Walking…

Okay, so it wasn’t boots on her feet – she was barefoot. And it wasn’t all over me – but on the grass in our front yard, but…

Pumpkin took her first solo steps today!

We were in the yard and she’d picked up a wood chip for a snack. When I took it away from her, she took two steps towards me to try to get it back. I about peed my pants – I was so excited!

She has since taken a few steps on a few other occasions. She’s slowly gathering confidence – and soon, I imagine, she’ll be tearing all over the place, trying to keep up with her big sister.

Workin’ Hard, Hardly Workin’?

Today, I went to work. This is the first time I’ve been to the office to work in about 13 months, so it was odd, to say the least. The company I’m working for had a special event and needed some extra hands to help with the masses – I volunteered.

An odd feeling to get up this morning and have someplace to go. Hubby was home from work today, so he stayed with the girls. Though I knew I was leaving them in good, competent hands, it was still difficult. (Of course, since Pumpkin is nearly 13 months old, it was nothing like my first day back in the office after The Princess was born – where I cried the entire day after leaving my eight-week-old infant with a sitter! No tears shed today).

I worked nearly seven hours, on my feet for much of it. The chaos and the excitement of the atmosphere kept time flying, and I hardly had a chance to moon over the fact that Hubby was getting to get slobber kisses from the girls, and all I got was a soggy, pasty turkey sandwich and all the bottled water I could drink.

When it was time to go, though? I was READY.

I like the arrangement I’ve got right now. Sure, sometimes it stinks having to start another shift of my day, putting in several hours after tucking in the kids, but you know what? I wouldn’t trade it, because I like spending time with them. This is the last year before The Princess goes to kindergarten, and shoot – Pumpkin hasn’t started walking, and I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss those first steps to sit in an overly-air-conditioned office somewhere, hunched over my keyboard like so many other worker bees. At this point, it’s just not for me.

I came home to Pumpkin’s poopy diaper (now how did Hubby manage to time that one, eh?) and The Princess having a very messy playdate involving lots of glitter glued paper towel tubes.

There’s no place like home.

Milestones We’ve Reached Lately…

Everyone has heard of the major milestones babies and children reach – sitting up, eating solid foods, sleeping through the night, on to writing one’s name, getting dressed by herself, and so on.

Here’s a few that we’ve hit this week:

Armpit Fart Noises
Yes, though this is a milestone I would have happily done with out, The Princess’s buddy Lo-Lo (aka Lauren, daughter of Taffy) taught her how to the armpit fart. Fannnnnnnnntastic.

Baby’s Got a New Pair of Shoes
Okay, so she’s NOT walking yet. However, we went to a park on Tuesday and I realized that Pumpkin could easily get splinters or hurt her feet on pebbles cruising around barefoot, so The Princess and I picked an adorable pair of soft-bottom, bootie-type slip on shoes from Target today. They are pink and white and kind of weird looking, but they’ll prevent splinters and feet boo-boos, which was the point.

Pumpkin Wants Only Daddy?
This happened at about 3:55 this morning, and to be honest, I have no freakin’ idea what happened to cause this. Pumpkin woke up screaming (probably teething or a nightmare), and when I went in to her room, she screamed louder and harder… I picked her up and took her downstairs so the rest of the family could sleep. And she kept screaming. I got her some milk. Didn’t work. Changed her diaper. Didn’t work. I sang her a song. Didn’t work. I turned on the TV so she could watch the clip of George Bush trying to walk into a closet on Bravo’s Viral Videos. Didn’t work. She didn’t stop until Hubby finally came downstairs, and held her and sang “Pig on Her Head” by Laurie Berkner. He had her back to sleep within minutes. Showoff.

Bottles Be Gone
No more bottles. Whoohoo! Sippy cups only! Whoohoo! Bottles in a bag in the garage! Yay!

Head Over Heels
The Princess all of the sudden can do a pretty nifty cartwheel. Yeah, so they won’t be asking her to join the Olympic Gymnastic team any time soon, but – it was pretty impressive.

Stick People
When she’s been drawing lately, The Princess’s pictures actually look like something. She drew me a picture last night and you could TELL what it was (so no more of the: “So why don’t you tell me about your picture…” charade).

A Two-Syllable Word
Proving that she’s not walking because she’s such a chatterbox, Pumpkin has added several new words to her vocabulary this week – including, I kid you not: backpack. True, it sounded more like “backback”, it was still lovely and adorable. Most of her vocabulary is words that start with ‘b’, such as: ball, book, bath, block, belt (that was a new one today!) . She also says something that sounds like “cup”, mama, “up up”, “bye” and a handful of others. Guess some kids are walkers and some are talkers.

What an amazing period of change in our house…

Bambi, Buffy, Tootsie, or…

“Mom, I don’t think Taffy cares if Lauren comes to our house.”


“I don’t think Taffy cares if…”

“Who’s Taffy? Cathy?”

“Noooooo, TAFFY. Tuh – tuh – TAFFY. That’s Lauren’s mom. But Lauren just calls her ‘mom’, kind of like I call you ‘Mom’ and everyone else calls you ‘Sarah’?”

I cannot believe my child has a friend whose mom is named Taffy. This is seriously disturbing to me. (Am I wrong to be concerned? Anyone out there ever met a “Taffy”?)

Six for Six

Today Hubby and I celebrate six-years of wedded bliss, so I thought I’d celebrate with six goofy lists of random marital dealies….

List One: Six Cars We’ve Had Since We’ve Been Together
1. Pontiac Sunbird (it was mine coming into the relationship… what a piece o’ junk)
2. Chevy Corsica (his coming into the relationship…)
3. Saturn SL2 (loved that car – Hubby got in an accident with it – SQUASH! It crumbled like a tin can)
4. Oldsmobile Alero (Still driving it…)
5. Buick Rendezvous (was great til Pumpkin was born… then… CRAMPED!)
6. Dodge Grand Caravan (My mama-van)

List Two: Six Places We’ve Gone on Vacation
1. Orlando, FL
2. The Bahamas
3. Hawaii
4. Savannah, GA
5. Washington, DC
6. Hershey, PA

List Three: Six Top Contenders for Pumpkin’s Name (All Vetoed)
(No list like this exists for The Princess because we had her name picked out before she was even conceived!)
1. Dylan
2. Alexa
3. Cameron
4. Kyla
5. Erin
6. Jordan

List Four: Six Best Gifts Hubby’s Ever Given Me
1. The Princess & Pumpkin
2. My engagement ring
3. A trip to swim with dolphins
4. Subscription to Real Simple (That was one of my gifts this a.m.)
5. My “chiplet” – the promise ring he gave me early on in our relationship
6. The bracelet with The Princess’s name on it, the year she was born (I don’t wear it anymore, because I haven’t yet gotten Pumpkin’s name on it!)… Or, the tickets to RENT!… Or the huge huge picture he had made of the girls… Or….

List Five: Six Most Romantic Things Hubby Has Done For Me
1. The Anniversary Scavenger hunt of 2002 that ended in the jewelry store
2. The Twelve Days of Christmas (the many times he’s done it)
3. His proposal (though it was in the dormitory at Keesler AFB in Biloxi, MS)
4. The vows he wrote for our wedding day
5. Arranged for a post-season pedicure for me after a painful tax season
6. Carried me EVERYWHERE after I had surgery on both feet (Including carrying me into the bathroom and actually having to sit me down!)
(There are several more things – and I keep thinking I should add them to the list, but I said “six” not “eighty”, so you get what you get…)

List Six: Six Things I Love About Being Married
1. Knowing I’ve found the love of my life
2. Having someone I love to grow old with
3. Getting to let myself go (wink, wink)
4. Having beautiful children with a man I adore
5. Having someone around to share the yucky chores with
6. Happiness


I haven’t decided if I’m a bad neighbor, but I really hate The Princess’s “best buddy” J, who happens to live in a house that is almost directly behind our house. It’s gotten so bad, that last week when I was talking about J to Hubby (out of the earshot of little people, of course), I used a Very Bad Name to describe this little girl who The Princess insists on playing with, almost daily.

Hubby said to me, “Do you realize the word you just used to describe a six-year-old?” Of course, I realized the word I used. Of course, I realized it was harsh. I just don’t know how else to describe this kid, who in every period of play, reduces my Princess to a bawling, sobbing mess.

The other day, The Princess and J were coloring outside on the front porch. It was a gorgeous day, so I dragged the art supplies and paper outside and let them be crafty. I scooped up Pumpkin and took her to play on the lawn (I’m still trying to get her to learn how to walk on her own!), and as soon as we stepped outside, J proceeded to tell The Princess how much J loves Pumpkin. I’m not kidding, this little kid actually said the following words to my daughter: “Pumpkin looooooooooves me! She loves me more than she loves you.”

This, in turn, made Princess get defensive (“Does NOT!”), because she’s not yet learned to let things roll off her back (ahem… it’s not a particular talent of mine either). I honestly cringed at this exchange, and though I tried super hard to just stay out of it and let them deal with it on their own, I became Hovering Mom and interfered. I told both girls that Pumpkin loves The Princess VERY much – that’s her BIG SISTER – and there’s no one cooler than a kid’s sister.

The need for this child to one-up my child drives me batty – and it’s probably kid stuff, and it’s probably typical, and The Princess will probably be fine, even if I don’t go poking my big nose into her business. But I can’t help it. I can’t sit back and watch this kid hurt my child. The fact that The Princess seems to forget about the tears and wants to play with J over and over again just blows my mind.

Today, the girls got in a fight over our remote control! A four year old and a six year old, ready to duke it out over who got to turn the television off. I’d had it. At that point, I had two hours of listening to them bicker, and I said, “Take a break.” I was hoping that J would get the hint and go home – after all, what fun could it be if her host was crying? But she didn’t, and I was too polite to make her leave. They sat there for two more minutes and I kept saying, “Take a break from each other.” Neither one seemed to “get it” and no one was making a move. So I had them relocate their bickering to the backyard so at least I wouldn’t have to listen to it.

I’m not a fan of OPCs (Other People’s Children). I have several friends with wonderful children that I adore – and they are the exception to this rule. Well behaved children are fine by me. Even an occasional tantrum or bad attitude – it doesn’t bother me, because all of that is normal kid stuff, to an extent. But J has such a case of Only Child’s Syndrome (OCS), that I really wonder if she just doesn’t know how to share, compromise or take turns. Already at six, it’s Her Way or the Highway.

Given the fact that we’re not planning on moving any time soon, I really hope that J grows out of this, or that me and The Princess grow thicker skin. Otherwise, these next few years are gonna be paaaaaaainful.

What The Princess Thinks About Thongs

“Hey, Mom? Your underwear is too small for your butt.”

Um, yeah. Thanks.

Go Figure

Spend hundreds of dollars buying The Princess a new twin bed (because she outgrew her toddler bed), a twin mattress, a comforter with Disney’s Princesses on it, pink sheets, and a gauzy princessy canopy to surround her bed… and where is she sleeping?

On the floor.

All She Wants to do is Dance

Maybe I’ve watched one too many episodes of Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance, because yesterday, I took the girls to a nearby dance studio for an open house, and signed The Princess up for her very first dance class.

For the past year, she’s been taking gymnastics, and she’s been progressing quite well. Her teacher had mentioned before classes ended for the summer that they would be moving her to the “big girl” class this fall. However, the big girl class has about ten kids, and the bulk of class time is spent waiting for a turn at whatever stunt they are working on. While The Princess is getting better at waiting as she gets older, I knew she wouldn’t enjoy that as much as her previous class, and I started thinking maybe it was time to find an alternate activity.

Since receiving an Angelina Ballerina DVD for her birthday, she’s been doing crooked pirouettes around the living room and telling me she wanted to dance. I discreetly began investigating local dance studios and didn’t mention it until the other day. We walked up the stairs to the studio and she was enthralled with the wall to wall mirrors. After meeting the director, and hearing what they had to say, I asked her, “Okay, gymnastics or dance?” and she very enthusiastically said, “Dance!” I pulled out the checkbook, agreed to let them gouge me for money the first of every month, signed up to get billed for the overpriced recital costume and got a copy of the class dress code (for 4-5 year olds combo class, she’ll need: pink leotard, pink tights, pink ballet slippers and black tap shoes).

And so it begins. In a way, I’m excited. I am always convinced that I could have been the next somebody big if my parents had ever followed through with letting me have lessons, but money was always a factor and I never really got to stick with anything. I adored ice skating, gymnastics, dance, music, swimming — but never got to stick with anything. Which is how now, I wouldn’t know how to skate without spending 80% of the time on my butt, I can’t swim and breathe at the same time, I can’t do a cartwheel without pulling a muscle (okay, that might be because I’m darn near 30). While I’m not trying to live out my dreams in my kid, I definitely want to give her the opportunity to try as many things as she wants to try, and encourage her to follow through on things she enjoys. Whether it’s dance, gymnastics, soccer, or basket weaving — it makes no difference to me. I think it’s important to find the things that bring you joy and find ways to make those things a part of your life. And I hope that is what we’re helping her to do.