Never Again!

We arrived home several hours ago from a weekend at the Great Wolf Lodge. The idea was that once the new year hits, Hubby is going to be mad busy at work, seeing as how tax season kicks off in January. His evenings and weekends are going to be filled with lovely tax forms and deductions and exemptions. No fun. This was a last family “hurrah” if you will.

Now, the thing is, after the Pennsylvania debacle in 2003, we swore we’d never take Hubby’s son (hereafter referred to as Stepson, because some of the other names I want to call him after this trip just aren’t that nice – and he’s only ten, so we can’t be cruel) on another trip again. In Pennsylvania, he basically wigged out on us at our hotel, cried and screamed through Sesame Place, and pitched another random fit at the Hershey Park. No fun.

However, Hubby decided that we’d all go. We knew Pumpkin wouldn’t really care too much (because shoot – all she still cares about are eating, sleeping and pooping – not necessarily in that order). We knew The Princess would love it – waterslides, pools, story times at night. Stepson had been there before with his mom and family, and we knew he loved it. We thought his love of this place would keep him behaving well. Wrong-o.

For starters, he and The Princess fought almost entirely the whole drive there (inclement weather added an hour to our trip). Why a ten-year-old picks fights with a three-year-old, I don’t know. But in anycase, they fought for HOURS. All was fine once we arrived. Everyone was in awe over the decorations – it’s amazing really. They don’t miss a trick. Trees decorated, lights everywhere — it even snows in their lobby several times daily.

This really could have been an amazing time. Two major problems: Pumpkin’s sleeping schedule went all crappy on us (which was expected, but painful nonetheless) and Stepson acted like a royal schmuck and behaved poorly. Stepson’s behavior was the biggest aggravator, as Hubby actually ended up catching the kid hitting another kid in the waterpark. Hubby, of course, yelled at both kids to knock it off out of instinct (he said the other kid was bigger and was shoving back). This of course led to a white-trash exchange with the other kid’s parents, who had apparently been watching this whole thing transpire (without intervening – parents of the year, yes?). Stepson, never one to accept responsibility for his actions, blamed the other kid, going so far as to say, “He held me underwater for five minutes! I could have DIED!”

Ay yi yi.

Needless to say, that was the end of the waterpark for the day yesterday.

Early in the day yesterday, Hubby presented me with an appointment card for the resort’s spa. My nails are now a smokin’ hot red and they look gorgeous, which almost makes up for the fact that we spend several hundred dollars to have to police the ten-year-old, deal with an over-excited three-year-old (hopped up on hot cocoa that they served in the lobby each evening, or sugar cookies decorated for a crafts project on “Candy Cane Lane”), and walk the lobby at 3 a.m. with a screaming, sleep-deprived infant.

A beautiful place, and not a bad time. But man:

There’s no place like home.

About sarah

Sarah is a book nerd, a music lover, an endorphin junkie, a coffee addict. Oh, and a goof ball. She writes, she tweets, and she sings off key.


  1. The Lodge looks and sounds so nice. Jealous again! Though not the Stepson trials, or the screwy sleeping patterns of the baby…it’s so hard to have a relaxing getaway with kids. My husband is in the middle of the no-fun/work all the time part of his year. Boo.

  2. I bookmarked the lodge site just in case the kids ever ask me if I know of a good place to go. It looks beautiful.

    Stepson sounds like he is having some trials of his own. Don’t give up on him.

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