Filling that Social Calendar…

I’m a homebody. I’ll admit it. When I was younger, though I still wasn’t a social butterfly who relished going out every night, or staying out all night, I had a more active social life than I do now. Having a baby does change a lot of things.

When I was pregnant for The Princess, that is when my true homebody tendencies kicked in. I didn’t want to go out to the bars with my friends, because I didn’t want to be around the smoke, and I definitely wasn’t going to be drinking. Not to mention – pregnancy fatigue! I was lucky if I could stay up late enough to watch E.R. on Thursdays!

Of course, once The Princess was born, I still stuck close to home. There was the factor of a whole different kind of fatigue. And once I returned to work when The Princess was eight weeks old, I became even more of a homebody.

Probably the biggest factor in why my social life has been fairly non-exisitent for the past few years is the fact that I was working outside the home. There is a whole debate between working moms and stay-at-home moms, and pros and cons of both. Having seen both sides of the coin now, I can say that the worst part of being a working mom is the guilt. Guilt that someone else is caring for your baby 40+ hours per week. Guilt that you are “choosing” work over being that person to care for the baby. All of that plays through a mom’s mind on repeat. At the end of the work day, I would race to the sitter’s house to pick up The Princess, so as to not be away from her a second longer than necessary. If my car needed gas, I would go out at lunch to fill the tank, so as not to have that stop to make on the way home. Pathetic, right?

But for how crazed I was during the work week, it was harder on the weekends. I didn’t want to go out because my time at home with The Princess felt so minimal to begin with. In my mind, I dumped her with a sitter all week for work, and how dare I even consider doing it on the weekend, with the little time I had? We would go to visit friends and family, and I didn’t want to let anyone else hold her, because it was mommy’s time.

And eventually, it became that I hardly went anywhere or did anything without The Princess with me. And when I did – guilt.

Probably the most amazing aspect of working from home is that I am with the girls daily. With Pumpkin, I’ve never had the feeling of “dumping” her with anyone. When Hubby took me out for my birthday dinner , when Pumpkin was nearly 2-1/2 months old, it was our first night out since her birth. I fully anticipated feeling how I did that first day I dropped The Princess off at daycare: tearful, sad, and guilt-stricken. But I didn’t feel any of that. I know that my girls know I love them, and I know that they certainly get more than their fair share of mommy time – more than they want, probably, and I don’t feel the least bit sad or apprehensive about letting Grandma and Grandpa have a bit of kiddo-time.

Today, a friend called and we made plans to go out next weekend. I also got an email today from a co-worker who is home with her newborn baby and we’re trying to put together a plan to get together as well (with four kids between the two of us, I have a feeling we’ll be picking up Starbucks and parking ourselves in someone’s living room!). Feels good to be able to reconnect and not feel guilt or feel like I’m short-changing myself or my children. Sometimes, it’s exciting to have something on that calendar that has nothing to do with being a wife or a mom.

About sarah

Sarah is a book nerd, a music lover, an endorphin junkie, a coffee addict. Oh, and a goof ball. She writes, she tweets, and she sings off key.

Comments

  1. Friends are so important. Seems like everyone is thinking about them or posting about them today.

    Happy New Year! I love reading your blog!

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