Dear Santa,

I know this letter is late but I figured that perhaps you or your elves might still be checking Google Alerts for your name and so I’m hoping that you might see this in time for Christmas.

I’m writing to you because it beats mumbling under my breath to the universe, it beats slamming doors, and since I’m already frustrated, I figured that you can be my last resort — who knows, maybe all these years of staying off the Naughty List will finally do me some good.

This has been one of the hardest years of my life, Santa, and I’ve been hanging in there pretty well. I’ve managed to do all of the things I’m supposed to be doing, despite a ton of obstacles being thrown at me. I guess the first thing I’m asking for, O Bearded One, is for less obstacles. I know, I know, that which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, but I also know that I’m getting a little old to care so much about being strong. I want not strength, these days, but endurance so that I can keep moving forward long after I would rather be resting.

I want patience – because the things I’m working for won’t always come easy.

I want persistence so I can pick myself up when I’ve been knocked down. As many times as it takes.

I want the insight and analytical mind required to figure out why things happen as they do and to learn from them.

Sometimes I find myself so frustrated when it seems things come easily for someone else or that they’re not running into the same challenges. I want the heart and the grace so that I can find joy for their joy, so that I don’t begrudge their happiness, and that I remember that I only know just a fraction of their story, just as they only know a piece of mine.

I’m tired of worry and I’m tired of fear and I would love to be a step closer to certainty.

I lost one of the most special people in the world when my grandpa died this year.

I have also been blessed to find love.

I want to be able to counter life’s hurts with life’s joys with an open heart that remembers that both the happiness and the sorrows come from loving without reserve and I want to keep being that person who treasures the love of those special people in my life.

I can’t imagine your elves are going to have an easy time making these things that I want, that I need. I’m not sure there’s a store in the world where these things could be purchased, Santa. I realize I’d have a greater likelihood of getting what I’ve asked for if I told you I needed a new hoodie or a travel coffee mug.

But I don’t need things.

I probably am supposed to be able to do all of these things on my own, Belly Full O’ Jelly, but I’ve struggled this year, so I’m asking you to maybe leave some magic under my tree.

I’d hate to think I’ve been so good for all these years for nothin’. And besides, you know I leave you the best cookies.

xo,

Sarah
Member of the Nice List since 1976