Rules of My House, #218

When I ask you nicely to clean your room, the correct answer is not: “You’re not the boss of me! I don’t have to!” Grounded, young lady… grounded.

RULES OF MY HOUSE, #172

You’ll notice these numbers are not sequential, but rest assured those rules DO exist and I share with you ONLY the highlights.

172. The whole concept of “Move Your Feet, Lose Your Seat” (with the fun acronym of MYFLYS) doesn’t apply to me. I’m the mother. I paid for the sofa. I get to sit on it wherever I choose. You don’t get to eagle eye my nice cozy spot on the couch and lunge for it the second I get up, most likely to fetch juice for one of you, or make dinner. If I “move my feet”, my seat better still be waiting for me when I get back.

RULES OF MY HOUSE, #134

If I find any money when I do laundry, it’s mine. Doesn’t matter if it’s a penny or a twenty. If you don’t like it, check your pockets first. Or better yet, do your own laundry.

(By the way, I’m on my fifth of seven loads of laundry today, and today has only netted about fifty-four cents in change, most of which I’m sure was mine anyway).