Ten years ago this morning I can tell you exactly what was on television: baseball and syndicated episodes of Mork & Mindy. I’m not sure how on earth there was baseball on television – we arrived at the hospital sometime around 4 a.m. and you were born before 6 a.m. – but there was baseball. Somehow. This morning, there will be no baseball or Mork & Mindy, but there will be birthday gifts early in the morning – surprises you don’t know are coming, and tonight we’ll order Chinese food and celebrate your birthday with dumplings.
Today you are ten. Double digits. Halfway to 20.
Where on earth does the time go?
You still love dogs – more than most things, actually – and along the way you have had things that have interested you, things that you clung to but nothing nothing nothing like your love of dogs. I know it, your friends know it, your family knows it – so much dog stuff – right down to the wrapping paper on the gifts from grandma.
Your dinosaur phase never lasted so long.
You are my tender heart, my sensitive soul. You wear your heart, your emotions, they are all on display for everyone to see. And I both love that about you, and worry about it at the same time. I know that there are times I don’t understand, or times when I am not as patient as I could be, but I try, always to be gentle with your sweet heart because I know how strongly you feel everything.
You recently started taking piano which I think is very special – last week you texted me and said, “I don’t think I want to do this anymore.” The next day, you texted me after your lesson and you said to me, “I changed my mind.” I’m excited to see where this takes you. It doesn’t have to be a thing you do, but I’m glad that you’re trying it because I think music is good for kids (hey, it’s good for grownups too). I love that you’re trying something new and that you’re giving it a shot even when it was frustrating – because there are moments where life is frustrating and you have to work your way through the challenges sometimes in order to build your strength and get better.
Look, I don’t care if that thing you love is piano or if it’s something entirely different (I love that you love dogs, that you write, that you’re so creative) – I just want you to find ways to build joy into your life, to find new things and try new things, and to take the opportunities that you encounter.
This year, you’ll be going into fifth grade – our last year before middle school. I cannot believe this is our last year of elementary school. We celebrated your birthday over the weekend and you had friends come over and spend the night and you girls stayed up giggling and running around until 11:30 and oh, how exhausted we were yesterday – but I am happy to see you and your friendships and the people you surround yourself with. We had pizza and brownie sundaes and when you played Truth or Dare with your friends, you prank called your sister’s phone as if you were placing an order at the Wendy’s drive through.
Last week, you and your sister started writing a song about being sisters and I swear I felt my heart just explode into a bunch of tiny beautiful sparkly pieces because I know you argue sometimes but other times, it’s so very clear how much love you have for each other, how much love you have for your sister. It makes me insanely happy.
You won’t take the last piece of cake in case someone else wants it. You’re kind, generous and always thinking of others.
Your favorite color is turquoise.
You write imaginative stories and not just imaginative stories, but you create these well thought out concepts in your head about what you’re going to do and how and that’s pretty impressive.
You have a way of sensing when others are hurting and you are at the ready with a hug – it’s one of those things – I worry about your sensitivity sometimes, and yet one of the true benefits of it is that you can read the emotions of people around you and you respond with kindness and with love. You are tender hearted, but you show tenderness in return and that is a true blessing.
I love you so very much. You will probably always march to the beat of your own drummer – and while other people may not always truly appreciate the amazing and wonderful things that make you who you are, I will always love the wonder and the joy you bring into my days, just by being you. You being you is perfect.
Happy birthday, sweet Pumpkin. I love you so very much and I’m so lucky to be your mom.
Love,
mom.
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