Archives for 2013

Day 26: Gray Skies and Lemon Bars

It’s cold today – cold and dreary. And I say this not because that’s news – it’s Michigan in November after all – but because it just is. This coldness, this dreary weather, it wears on me. The chill in the air lingers long after I walk in the door and shrug off my coat and kick my boots in the general direction of the mudroom.

This weather makes me want to sleep.

It also makes me want to bake.

And so today on the way home I stopped for lemons.

Lemon bars have been on my brain lately – partly because the friend who is helping me out in the mornings by getting Pumpkin on the bus said she’d help in exchange for lemon bars. And partly because today was a day that needed something sweet, something cookie-like.

Freshly squeezed lemon juice, the sweetness of sugar, a buttery pastry crust. Sigh. I love lemon bars and I typically hate fruity desserts.

Baking is therapeutic for me – the very action of measuring, stirring, mixing, pouring. All of it soothes my soul.

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I threw a load of laundry in the washing machine while the lemon bars baked. I changed into clothes to spend time with the treadmill. When the bars were done, I barely let them cool before slicing a piece to sample, nearly burning my tongue.

Delicious.

Absolutely delicious.

I can’t make Michigan stop being winter. I can’t make the skies less dreary. But a little bit of lemon lightness makes the day a little brighter.

Day 25: Flavors of the Day

Song that has caught my ear today:
Sometimes shuffle leads me to discoveries of songs that have been on my iPod forever. Today? “Always You” by Ingrid Michaelson. It came on when I was driving to run some errands tonight – so then I listened to it three times and I’ve listened several more times this evening. I love me some Ingrid.

Nagging Thought of the Day:
I really really want to put my Christmas tree up. Like now. The only thing stopping me is that my girls are with their dad and I won’t put up my tree without my daughters.

True Flavor of the Day:
Cuban pork shoulder with beans and rice.  Chris and I started prep for this slow cooker meal around 9:30 yesterday morning and by the time the Lions choked and lost the game, it was nearly ready. This recipe leaves some room for improvement – I think the fact that we used California oranges instead of Florida made a huge difference (local store only had CA oranges — but Florida oranges are juicier and sweeter, and as the recipe states, have a thinner peel).

One Good Thought About Snow for the Day:
I love how a snowy night is never entirely dark. I don’t love snow, y’all know that, but there’s this hazy glowy light when it’s snowy.

Other Thoughts About Snow for the Day?:
OH MY GOD PEOPLE HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN SNOW BEFORE? WHY ARE YOU ALL DRIVING THIS WAY? STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!

Way to Avoid all the Yummy Food in the Breakroom Technique of the Day:
Sliced red and orange peppers from home, eaten at my desk while fantasizing about the cookies that are in the breakroom and waiting just long enough to go into the breakroom that all the good stuff is gone thus ensuring I’ll fit into my pants for another day.

Movie I Plan To Watch at the End of the Day:
Flight. I started watching last night. I’ll finish watching tonight. I’m skipping past that whole plane crash part though. NOT watching that sequence again. Also, don’t be surprised if I ask the pilot of every future flight if he’s drunk.

Fortune of the Day:
I’m kind of addicted to fortune cookies – and buy them in bulk from World Market. Today’s fortune: Contentment is just around the corner for you. Look forward!

Trip Down Memory Lane of the Day:
One of the awesome things about my 365 is that I can easily look back to see what I was up to a year (or two or three or four…) ago! Looks like a year ago today I bought flowers. Callas are my mom’s favorite – so odds are, I bought this one for mom and gave it to her eventually…after photographing it!

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Least Favorite Physical Feature of the Day:
Whaddup round cheeks?! Where did that come from? Of all the features I usually think are too big – my nose, my thighs, my feet – it’s been a long time since I thought my face looked round. Must be defective work bathroom mirrors because once I left the office I had cheekbones again.

Favorite Physical Feature of the Day:
My eyes. I have two of them. That’s awesome.

Copout Blog Post of the Day:
This one, but hey, at least I’m not whining about stuff. Right?

Day 24: The Constant Chirping Is Driving Me INSANE

All day long, there’s been a high pitch chirping in my house. Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.

It is surely a smoke detector – since I tested the carbon monoxide detector and it is a) fully functional and b) not the culprit of the constant chirping – however, there are so many smoke detectors in this house (all about safety), I can’t seem to tell which one it is.

I stand under one and suddenly the chirping is silent – unwilling to either confirm or deny its role as the source of the noise.

And so I sit on the couch.

Chirp. Chirp. Chirp. It feels like it’s right next to me, the noise, but it’s not.

And it could well drive me crazy. Waiting for the moment when it happens to chirp at a moment when I’m in the room – that will end this, this constant annoyance I’ve felt all day being unable to detect and stop the noise.

 

Day 23: And So It Snows…

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I woke up this morning and looked out the windows and was sure that my eyes were behaving badly with all the white I was seeing. That my eyes would be screwy would be no surprise – I’m overdue for an eye exam (I have one scheduled, it’s all good) and I’m kind of half convinced that at some point over the past few weeks, I mixed up my right and left contact – and so I keep switching them back and forth seeing if I can see any better. (I’m sure that’s behavior totally frowned upon by eye care professionals).

Anyway.

All that white garbage wasn’t my eyes being stupid.

It was snow.

The expected high temperature today is less than 30°, and I’m cold and have already said more than once: “That’s enough! I quit winter!”

So, I didn’t really have anything to blog about today. I had a great dinner last night with a friend of mine, and great coffee this morning with Chris… and I dug in my archives for my picture of the day today last year.

And it was this. A light dusting of snow. Just like today.

It’s interesting sometimes to see life that way – today versus a year ago today.

Fun to note that a year ago today, I was probably cursing Mother Nature much like I am now.

The sun is shining and there’s no snow in my yard. It’s still cold outside – and will be for days – but I’m warm with a cup of coffee by my side.

So it begins, winter. The season I hate the most. Hoping to avoid numbness and ginormous electric bills.

 

Day 22: Things I Wish I Knew How To Do

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  • Make cappuccino/latte art
  • Make chicken without either overcooking it and drying it out or undercooking it and giving everyone salmonella
  • Resist a box of CheezIts
  • Play piano
  • Rig the lotto so I win
  • Knit or crochet or whatever the hell it is people do to make these super cute coffee cup sweater things
  • Make homemade pasta
  • Play the guitar so it doesn’t sound like someone who doesn’t know how to play guitar
  • Give a flawless video interview (seriously, HR people, WHY is this a thing?)
  • Parallel park
  • Get a good picture of the moon
  • Cure cancer
  • Slow my brain
  • Drive without getting mad at all the stupid people who don’t know how to drive
  • Make my hair look fancy and Pinterest-y
  • Install hardwood floors
  • Appropriately price my photography services and the resulting products so as not to undersell my talents
  • Make a brownie sundae with zero calories
  • Put outfits together so I look more chic than chump
  • Apply eyeliner
  • Well, and makeup in general
  • Walk in heels without looking like a Clydesdale
  • Fix things so I don’t have to hire other people to fix things
  • Come up with a post every day for 30 days without resorting to lists

Thursday Ten: Stage Makeup and Panicked Mothers edition

1. The Princess arrived home from school yesterday, plastered with makeup from her school musical dress rehearsal. I’m not unfamiliar with the practice of slathering your face with makeup for stage stuff – just…wasn’t prepared for my kid to look SO OLD. And she did. I was relieved when she scrubbed the makeup off and looked her age again. She’s beautiful without all that stuff. I know it’s cliche but, she doesn’t need it.

2. Her musical is this evening, and her first gymnastics meet is this weekend and whoa it’s kind of ALL ABOUT HER the next few days. That’s okay, it’s all fun stuff. She’s been working hard – can’t wait to see her work in action.

3. Sometimes when I’m watching HGTV, I want to grab the realtors by the shoulders and shake them and say, “YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD TO SELL IT. YOU’RE LOOKIN’ DESPERATE.” (And then I think less than eloquent things like “you can’t polish a turd” – a saying I hate, but it’s what comes to mind when the realtor is all “Oooh look at these arched doorways” and the potential buyers are like “Duuuuuude, the kitchen is LIME GREEN, though.”

4. The wheels of planning are turning for the annual Cookie Party. I wish I could remember what year I started it – but I do love it. It’s one of my favorite holiday traditions. Hundreds of cookies. Tons of sugary frosting goo. Sprinkles galore. And the kiddos and their friends.
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5. I cannot believe Thanksgiving is next week already. I’m so ready to eat turkey and stuffing, though. It’s definitely one of my favorite meals on the planet. Also? I don’t have to cook. I just get to show up and eat great food. So full (of win).

6. It’s taken me over a week with this book I’ve been reading – and I’m still not done. I can’t tell if the book is that bad or if I haven’t been reading enough (both).

7. I’ve modified my work schedule to allow for four shorter days versus three normal ones — mostly out of necessity. I’m not sure how I feel about it – but we do the things we gotta do, right? And who knows, the shorter days might be good. I have been so busy in the office that it might be a nice change of pace to leave a bit earlier and spread the work out to a fourth day. We’ll see. There’s certainly less traffic when you leave work at an off peak time, which is nice.

8. Cooking Light had a ton of crock pot recipes in this month’s issue and all I’ve been thinking since is, “YUMMMMM Cuban pork and black beans and rice.” My shorter work day means I have time to cook dinner – but I love to use the crock pot. Especially in winter months. Coming home to the smell of a delicious food cooking is heavenly.

9. I lost my eyeliner so I look very tired.

10. We haven’t even had the first real snow fall and already I’m craving the end of winter or a trip to a warmer climate. Not sure how I’m gonna make it through this winter! Every time autumn comes to an end and the days start getting shorter and COLDER, I wish I lived somewhere I could wear jeans and tee shirts and hoodies all year – no snow boots, no jackets, no hats, no gloves. But nope. Here I am. Freezing my ass off. Again.

Day 20: Changing the Way I Think About Thinking

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Yesterday, I lay awake in bed my brain churning for hours before my alarm was due to go off. I was worried about something and my brain turned it over and over again imagining every outcome – every possible outcome except what actually happened:

Nothing.

In all that stress and worry and hours of thinking, nothing happened, everything was fine, and I lost hours of sleep for nothing.

Prone to overanalysis anyway, I’ve always been the introspective sort to weigh my options, dissect things and events in my mind and take things down to the bare bones to evaluate – so while this isn’t a new thing, it’s something that’s actually really starting to annoy me.

It annoys me because I have real stuff to think about.

What’s real: job hunting, programming my thermostat so I don’t spend too much money heating the house when no one’s home, my stepfather’s recent surgery, securing childcare while my stepfather recovers from surgery, why my hip hurts every time I run.

What’s not real: the thought that somebody could yell at me about a thing that a rational person wouldn’t be mad enough to yell about. For example.

You see the ridiculousness.

And if I were to dissect that, I could see what that thought would upset me: I hate conflict. I’m a people pleaser. I try to not intentionally upset people. I work hard. Yelling is yucky. Do not like.

No wonder I wouldn’t want that.

But.

What I need to do when the hamster wheel that is my brain starts turning is this:

What is the worst that could happen?

If that bad thing happened, what does that mean?

Will I care in a week, a month, a year?

Right.

Will it work? I don’t know but I do know that realistically, I can’t do anything about hypotheticals, really. I can only deal with reality. I am a creative person, and nearly every worst case scenario that my brain can create has been worse than reality (I’m that creative, y’all). I gotta start using my power for good instead of evil. Would be nice to start envisioning some happy plot lines, wouldn’t it?

If you’re an overthinker, how do you deal with it? Do you give in to the thoughts or are you able to channel your thinking in more positive ways? If you’re a recovered overthinker, how did you kick the habit?

Day 19: An Ode To My Dog

Gotta capture his sweet moments

I didn’t want a dog. I’m allergic. I didn’t want to do the work. I knew the responsibility would fall to me.

I wasn’t really wrong.

Look at how cute he was, though. Like you could resist.

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He was naughty at first. Nipping hands, scratching arms…

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He even did a lot of damage to the furniture.

We used to spray bitter apple on everything to deter him from biting, chewing, and otherwise destroying. It helped a little bit.

Those first few years were TOUGH.

People have said, “Oh, he’s a labradoodle – it’s that lab side of him that makes him so playful and young – he’s gonna be like a puppy until he’s about four years old.”

Uh. What?

But he’s gotten mellower, our puppy has. And though he’s still a bit on the excitable side, and though he still likes to chew the heck out of everything, he’s so much a part of our family that I can’t imagine our world without him.

When he catches a glimpse of The Princess walking home from her bus stop, he races back and forth from one window to the next until she approaches the front door where he waits, tail wagging, to greet her when she enters.

When he hears Pumpkin’s bus, he stares intently out the window until she starts walking up the driveway and then he races to the door to welcome her home.

Yesterday, The Princess didn’t come home. She had rehearsal for her school musical.

He saw her friend approaching and did his typical window race and then he waited.

And he waited.

And he waited.

And she never came in the door.

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And he was sad.

Tonight, I picked the girls up from their dad. Puppy was eager the whole way, standing next to my seat. We pulled in the parking lot and I asked, “Are you ready to see your girls?” He jumped onto the passenger seat, tail wagging, his eyes scanning the parking lot. Waiting for his people.

It’s these kinds of things that make me love him more – that he knows that we love him and that he loves us back. Just as he matters to us tremendously, I can tell that we matter to him. That his demeanor is different when the girls aren’t around, that he actually appears sad when he doesn’t get to curl up with Pumpkin in the morning to watch cartoons or in the evening with The Princess – you can tell his puppy world is off kilter.

As I type, he’s curled up next to me on the couch. I love this time of day, just the two of us – one with opposable thumbs and one without – just holding the couch down.

The girls are home and my house is settling from the loudness that’s been missing for the past few days. I can tell he’s feeling it – and is now joyfully exhausted. His people are home.

I’m glad I was forced to cave in to the whole ‘getting a puppy thing’ because my life is better with him in it.

I can easily say that now that I’m out of furniture for him to chew.

Day 18: After the Rain

out came the sun...

I woke up shivering and in the dark in a home without power this morning. Apparently over a hundred thousand west Michigan residents did this morning, so we all had the same off-kilter sort of morning. Getting ready for work by candlelight and driving to a nearby coffee store for a big mug of caffeine and some kind of warm breakfast – before venturing into the office.

I arrived at work to a semi-dark parking garage, a mostly-dark lobby, and a building with some generator power and instructions to head home.

I did.

I arrived at my own house, after detours around closed roads (presumably because of downed trees) to functioning electricity, warmth, and a trampoline that thankfully didn’t fly out of my back yard with yesterday’s high winds (big big thanks to my brother-in-law who came over in the middle of the Lions game – not even at halftime! – to flip it upside down so the wind wouldn’t catch it and lift it away. Again.). I came home to a refrigerator keeping all my food cold and a freezer that’s keeping the frozen stuff frozen.

I’m kind of lucky.

Power was quickly restored at work but today I am working from home in comfortable pants, a thick sweatshirt and with fuzzy socks.

I have a strange guilt about not being in the office – which is silly, since y’know, I did show up in the first place and I am making progress on a project that needed to get done. (Work ethic – I have it. Also? I’m one of the few people who probably works harder when I’m working at home – feeling the need to prove myself to others, I guess. I worked at home for six years — and was insanely productive the whole time. It’s how I do).

I am grateful to have a warm house.

Hell, I am grateful to even have a house. I saw photos from areas hit hard by yesterday’s weather – the devastation makes you catch your breath. How a storm can whip through and change your whole life.

Make no mistake, I had it easy.

Though I look like I got dressed in the dark today (because I did! FINALLY! I have an excuse!), and even though I’m tired (do you know how exhausting it is to wake up to see if power has been restored?), I’m in my home. I’m sitting at my dining table doing work that I would be doing in my cubicle.

They’re estimating that some people will be without power until Thursday. Hopefully, for them, that’s a gross overestimation. By Thursday, most of those people will have to empty out the contents of their refrigerators and start anew. It’s getting too cold for those people to stay at home until Thursday so many will stay elsewhere. The nursing home where my grandmother lives is currently without power – she’s on portable oxygen. She can’t be the only one. Though, she has places she can stay until power is restored, it’s amazing when you start thinking about it, the impacts of a storm – a freakish autumn storm – on so many lives.

And here I sit at my dining table doing the work I’d have done in my office had there been power (there’s power there now; tomorrow will be back to normal). The sky is gray and it’s still very windy.

But I’m in my house and I’m feeling lucky.

Day 17: How to Make Gougere (They’re Basically Cheese Puffs. Awesome Cheese Puffs.)

A few months ago when the Downtown Market in Grand Rapids opened, Chris and I went wandering around to see what there was to see and to try some of the offerings from some of the vendors. Not all the vendors were up and running at full capacity and some only had a limited  selection of their wares. One of those vendors was Field & Fire.

Field & Fire’s head baker-dude was one of the head baker dudes at Zingerman’s in Ann Arbor, so needless to say, I had a few expectations of what F&F would have to offer, and that it should be phenomenally good.

I was right.

That first day was also the first time I’d ever tried a gougere. If you’ve ever had a cream puff, a gougere really isn’t all that different. It’s a kind of a puffy-bready-savory-peppery thing. Looks like a roll or a biscuit and then you bite into it and then AWESOMENESS ENSUES.

They’re so amazing that it’s a semi-regular thing we do – stop at Field & Fire for gougere and to Simpatico (the coffee place in the Downtown Market) for coffee (cappuccino for me, latte for him).

But.

Sometimes it is not logistically feasible to go to the Market. So I wanted to try to make gougere on my own.

Know what? It’s not that hard.

Mine are not yet as amazing as the ones from Field & Fire (which shouldn’t be a surprise – trained professional versus me), but they’re not bad.

gougere

Here’s how you do it.

  1. Preheat your oven to 425° (you’ll want the racks to be kinda in the middle).
  2. Lightly butter a baking dish (or go sans butter if you’re using parchment paper or a Silpat).
  3. In a large saucepan, combine: 1 stick unsalted butter, 1/2 tsp kosher salt, and 1 cup water and bring it to a boil.
  4. Once it boils, remove it from heat and add 1 cup flour. Whisk until smooth. [Note: at this point, when you whisk it all together, it will pull away from the sides of the pan and become this sort of blobby ball of shiny dough. This is called “pate-au-choux” or “pat a shoe” as my kid calls it.]
  5. Let it cool slightly and either dump into the bowl of your stand mixer or dig in your cupboards for an electric mixer.
  6. One by one, add 4 eggs, beating thoroughly after you add each egg.
  7. Add 1 cup of cheddar cheese {I’ve made it with white cheddar, I’ve made it with orange cheddar. I’ve added parmesan once. Some recipes say to use gruyere. So, add the cheesy goodness of your choosing}
  8. Mix in about 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper – you can add more if you love pepper, or less if you don’t. I love a really peppery gougers, so… I don’t really measure, just add it til it looks right.
  9. Scoop in heaping spoonfuls onto your baking dish (I make very very big scoops).
  10. Bake at 425° for about 27 minutes-ish, turn your oven down to 400 and then bake for another 7 – 10 minutes.
  11. Let ’em cool a bit.
  12. EATTTTTTT.

If you have a lot left over, I’d say to pop them in a freezer bag and store them in the freezer… left out at room temp, they lose their appeal after about a day – and with all that egg and cheese it seems it should proooooobably be kept cool.

{And if you’re in Grand Rapids, you should stop by Field & Fire for a gougere. Or a loaf of bread. Or croissants. I’m not getting paid to say nice things about them. They’re just that good.}