Code Blue

I have yet to really be able to comment on what happened in Connecticut last Friday.

There are a lot of people shouting about gun control and a lot of people shouting about mental health and a lot of people shouting about video games and autism and parental involvement. There are people shouting about Christmas trees and people shouting about shouting and people shouting about who the hell knows what, they just want to hear their own voices, i guess.

I’m sick of the shouting.

—

I have no answers.

—

Pumpkin’s teacher sent home a letter that said: “I would also add that this rare and horrible event is why it is important to practice our Code Blue drill.”

When I was in elementary school we had earthquake drills.Those were replaced by tornado drills once I moved to Michigan.

Never once did I have to even begin to comprehend a “someone is in your school with a gun shooting people” drill. And yet that’s the world my kids live in.

—

My heart is heavy for the lives cut way too short.

My heart is heavy because even in tragedy, people can’t entirely come together. There are always “sides” – and when even the most devastating thing doesn’t truly unite, I wonder what on earth it really takes.

—

I have no answers.

—

I have children who mean the world to me. Who I’ve been blessed to love and care for. Who are with me. Who I hug tighter at night these days. And I am grateful.

But I wish I had answers.