It was only a matter of time

I’ve now been off work for nearly three weeks. It’s been an interesting time, for sure – and admittedly in the first week or so, I floundered. A lot. I miss working. I do.

A friend once said that I’m like a hummingbird – constant motion – and while that may not always be true physically (this 90+ degree weather is showing how truly awesome I am at holding the sofa down), my brain is always churning. I am focusing on photography, I am focusing on some possible contract work with my old employer (oh yes), I am focusing on an upcoming interview (networking FTW), I am focusing on any of the 101 other things I have going on at any given time.

Even when I “had a job”, I had several other things going on – partly in anticipation that someday, my job wouldn’t be there and I would want options.

I don’t believe in being bored.

I am not bored.

The end of the school year events for my children alone are nearly a full time job (including the field trip for Pumpkin yesterday that ended up being a HIKING TRIP THROUGH THE WOODS. Uh. I didn’t know that when I went).

And after nearly three weeks, yesterday evening, I was asked “What did you DO today?”

As if I did nothing.

As if it was such a foreign concept, being home all day. As if I spent the day eating bon bons, catching up on daytime television and dancing on the sofa. Somehow, I felt the need to explain how I spent my day, explain how I went from A to B to C and back to A again. How, having a day with my children at school isn’t a “day off” when I spend three hours of it ON THE FIELD TRIP WITH THE KIDS!

It’s this notion that people think that I’m enjoying myself – that I’m sitting at home, loving every minute of it, that I’m relaxed and calm.

Reality? I hate this. My already churning brain is churning even more to keep my days busy. With no work obligation, I could be sunning myself outside while reading a book right now – odds are, that won’t happen (not even with sunscreen).

It’s been… tough… having to adjust my thinking from “I have a job” to “I need a job” – and while I have several really amazing things going on, filling my time, making me feel productive and useful – I haven’t truly followed my to-do list in a few days, and I feel sort of aimless.

Who knew.

What am I doing all day?

I am thinking about ways to fill my day. I am thinking about big projects and dreams and how to translate the things I love to do into a fulfilling career. I think about finding the nerve to maybe focus on photography for awhile. I think about how I don’t know how to interview anymore, and how do I prove to people who don’t know me that I am worth something. And sometimes I think about Wheat Thins, because let’s be real here – this is me we’re talking about.


About sarah

Sarah is a book nerd, a music lover, an endorphin junkie, a coffee addict. Oh, and a goof ball. She writes, she tweets, and she sings off key.


  1. I can only imagine. Something will turn up for you Sarah, I am sure of it.

  2. WHEAT THINS!!!!

  3. I can relate- and by the way, I will need a photographer now that I’m moving to Michigan 🙂

  4. I can so relate. I don’t get asked what I’ve done all day but often at the end of the day I find myself exhausted and I have to start thinking “What did I do all day?”

    It’s funny how your day fills up with all kinds of tasks and you’re left wondering how on earth you ever got anything done before when you were working.

    It’s been six weeks for me and the garage full of boxes that need to be unpacked….yeah, I’ve unpacked two boxes so far.

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