Facebook is Not for Opinions

I am a Libra. This means that I was born in mid-October, that I’m sorta wishy-washy, and that I have extreme peace-keeping sensibilities. I avoid conflict when possible, I stray from getting in the middle of confrontations and I definitely keep VERY VERY QUIET about such things as (shhhhh) religion, politics, and child-rearing techniques.

So, when my expressing dismay at the REPEATED SNOW DAYS on Facebook blew up into a whole ‘nother kind of blizzard, I was shocked.

And… a little disturbed.

And…far more upset than I should have been.

In turn I hammered out a quick update stating that it’s still a little rough in 2011 that women are still tearing other women down for our choices and feelings regarding parenthood, careers and (gasp) snowdays. And then… THAT got a little crazy.

People interpreted those words of mine – that I dislike snowdays – into the fact that I don’t want to be around my children. And I was truly saddened and hurt and yes, even a bit pissed off to see my words twisted that way. UNTIL.

Until I remembered Brene’ Brown’s opening keynote at Blissdom. She told us (this is not a direct quote, but pretty close): There’s a very short list of people whose opinions of me matter – and you are not on that list.

And that is it in a nutshell.

In the land of hundreds of “friends” on Facebook – why would I even care about what someone I haven’t seen in fifteen years thinks of my parenting? I am appalled that based on a Facebook snippet that she’s made an opinion – but… why would her opinion matter to me? It shouldn’t.

And it was then I let it all go up in a poof of smoke.

I may do a lot of things differently than you do. I don’t spank my children, I believe in the healing powers of cookies, I write them notes every morning, sometimes we watch too much television, they know the words to many of Ke$ha’s songs, I let them wear nail polish (even blue! Or purple! Or green!), I sometimes give in when they ask for stuff at the grocery store, we go out for donuts every Friday morning for breakfast, sometimes we raise our voices, sometimes we say “You really hurt my feelings when you did that…”, sometimes I make chocolate french toast for breakfast, sometimes I don’t make them eat their vegetables, I breast fed them but not for that full “recommended year”, we wear seatbelts, we drive the speed limit, sometimes a Happy Meal is lunch.

There are so many ways in which you can take issue with what I do and don’t do as a parent and the hardest part for me is to remember – even if you – the general YOU – have an issue:

Your issue is YOUR issue.

It’s not mine. Unless you’re on my short list, I don’t have time for your complaints. I cannot let it get to my heart because it doesn’t belong there.

Like you, I’m doing the best I can do for my family. Like you, I’m working with the resources I have available to me at this moment. Like you, I’m loving my children and making sure they KNOW IT.

And yeah, I don’t love snow days. I’m pretty sure I’ll never mention that on Facebook again.

I’ll stick to talking about Project Runway and cookies. And that’s fine. If you’re not on my list, that’s all you need to know anyway.

About sarah

Sarah is a book nerd, a music lover, an endorphin junkie, a coffee addict. Oh, and a goof ball. She writes, she tweets, and she sings off key.


  1. “i’d move a body for you”


  2. I’d stand and applaud, but there’s a kid hanging on me. There are so many ways to do parenting right and so many of us tend to think ours is the only way.
    Hang in there through the snow.

  3. Yep, what Rachel said. And BRAVO to you for remembering that from Brene’s keynote. I need to keep that mantra in my head for most of the people I interact with, “you’re not on my list!”

  4. I’m not a parent. And for sure, I’m far from your short list. But I love this.

  5. What really chapped my hide is when I mentioned a snow day (on twitter) a teacher came back and said “Look, teachers need breaks from your kids too.”

    I didn’t even know where to start with that one. I still don’t. So I never did start and the world is probably better because of it.

    We all have so much more in common than different. When will everybody realize that?

  6. I hate snowdays. A child with severe difficulties is not an easy person to have home all day, every day, when there is no possibility of taking a break from each other.

    Why do parents still need to knock each other?

    I think you’re a pretty awesome mother. More importantly, I’m sure your kids think you’re awesome and ultimately that’s all that matters.

  7. Great post and good advice before getting on twitter tumblr facebook et al. And a terrific life lesson.

  8. i’m with rachel…body moving. and i’m right down the road. next snowday? send them to me! i’ll make my girls watch them!


  9. My facebook is for fun. When people get too critical or political in my posts I delete their comments.

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