Flip Side – Hiding Behind 28 – 135mm

I am constantly behind a camera.

Okay, almost constantly.

I spend my days looking at my surroundings as if looking through a lens – I gauge my surroundings as though I’m framing a shot. I see beauty in unexpected places. I see beauty where some people wouldn’t. I see beauty in everyone.

I hide behind a camera and so much of what I see is translated into pixels and colors and textures and richness.

And my world is better for it.

Somehow, the same care I give to viewing the world around me is not given to viewing myself. Somehow the rules that apply to the things in front of my camera do not apply to the woman behind it.

I made a promise to myself – 2011 is the year I would be kinder to myself, less dysmorphic, less apt to point out the fat days and the bloat (PMS, you cruel cruel beast), the split ends and bad hair days, the imperfections. It would be the year to embrace the qualities as they are because those are part of what makes me who I am.

And I tell you this:

It’s FREAKING difficult.

I don’t think I’m going to be entirely successful, but I guess I don’t have to be. Even if I become a little bit kinder to myself, that’s a step in the right direction.