How to Throw a Bad Bachelorette Party

I learned a very important lesson this weekend. The lesson? My sister chose me to be her Maid of Awesome (or MOH for you traditionalists) for a reason – because really, there was no one better suited to stand up for her on her big day. No one has known her as long, and perhaps no one knows her as well.

I thought I was doing her a favor letting her friend plan the party – letting someone younger take the reins. I mean, shucks – it’s been awhile since I went to a bachelorette party. Of course, the last one I went to involved going to a dueling pianos bar and I loved the whole thing (and it’s what I would have done had I carried through with planning Saturday’s event) – I just wanted my sister to have a good time.

I relinquished control… and I never do that.

Big mistake.

If you are hosting a bachelorette party, here’s a short list of some DON’Ts:

1. DON’T forget to consider what kind of party the bride would want.
If she’s not crazy about walking around with a plastic phallus around her neck, maybe you should reconsider those accessories. She’s not a “hit the dance floor and dance all night” kind of girl? Maybe you shouldn’t pick THAT PARTICULAR BAR. If the bride would be happier hanging around someone’s living room, sharing a few drinks, opening gifts, and laughing about old times: THROW HER THAT KIND OF PARTY.

2. DON’T up the skeeze factor.
Sure, it’s her “last night out” – but attempting to send her on a scavenger hunt to kiss strangers and take pictures of random “butts of hot boys”? Some people are into that. Your bride might not be. OUR BRIDE WAS NOT.

3. DON’T expect the bride to pay her way. Or yours.
The bride really shouldn’t have to bring more than her ID and her lipgloss (or whatevs) for her night out. Not sayin’ the planner needs to foot the entire bill – if you don’t have a ton of cash, plan a low key night – OR get the other party-goers to chip in a few bucks to pay the bride’s way. Usually, if you keep your party plans in line with your budget – it’s NOT a problem.  But if you start crying poor in the middle of the evening so that the bride pulls our her wallet to pay  your cover into yet another bar where the bride does not wish to go, the odds are pretty high that the bride’s sister (AKA MAID OF AWESOME) will get very upset with you.

When all was said and done, my sister’s friend had planned a party that she, not my sister, would enjoy. My sister had a miserable time – made even MORE miserable when her friend hit her up for half of the over-priced hotel that she’d booked for the party.

The night I’d have planned for my sister probably would have cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $40 – 50 for me (versus the $400 this one seemed to morph into), and she would have had more fun. Bigger is not necessarily better. Sometimes less is more. And if it’s the thought that counts, you should be thinking of the right person.

P.S. I’m so glad all the showers and parties are done. We’re in the home stretch now.