Archives for January 2009

One More Post In Which I Complain About Feeling Like Something Stuck to the Bottom of One’s Shoe

I am still really sick today. I was really sick last night and woke up every hour on the hour just hoping I could just throw up and be done with the whole “feeling sick” thing. The only problem with that is that generally you need to have had something to eat or drink to make that whole throwing up option even a possibility – and I hadn’t really – so. No go.

At 3:45, I felt my way along the walls downstairs into the kitchen where I grabbed a few pretzels and ate one, leaving the others on my nightstand to maybe try again later at some point (because eating one pretzel was tough to choke down). Woke up for the day at 5:45 and trudged downstairs to stake my claim on the couch before either of the girls got too comfortable and wrapped myself in blankets, planning to spend the day with Pumpkin watching far too much television and avoiding the subzero temps outside.

Once The Princess was on the bus heading towards school, Pumpkin and I watched a lot of Blue’s Clues. I have little patience for Steve on a GOOD day, and today? I just wanted to throw my box of Kleenex at the screen because it was taking him so freakin’ long to figure out Blue’s Clues.

But then…

“Mommy, my ear hurts.”

And then about forty minutes later: “My ear really hurts.”

I called the doctor’s office, set up a time to go in and then hauled my self off the couch to go get dressed in REAL CLOTHES (because unless I’m actually going to go work out, I can’t bring myself to wear my warmup pants in public), and to make myself look a little less like I had been lying on the couch for the past few hours.

The doctor’s office zipped us in and right out. Pumpkin’s left ear is infected. We’ve got antibiotics. Back home back home where I just counted the minutes for her to take a nap, thinking that I could really use one too. And I let myself sleep for about 25 minutes – which is better than nothing.

But, ugh. I hate being sick. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Thursday Ten: The Who Said It Was Allowed To Be This Cold? Edition

1. Oh. My. God. It was -7 this morning when I got the girls ready to get in the car to get to school. MINUS SEVEN. That wasn’t windchill. That was the straight up temperature. Too cold. This is too cold. I don’t like it and it can stop now.

2. I went shopping with my sister and her maid of honor today to pick out bridesmaid dresses. We all fell in love with the same dress, a long sleeveless jersey dress that was so comfortable it was like wearing a nightgown. In a good way. (Is there a bad way to feel like you’re wearing a nightgown? I dunno. It was comfy and will be awesome for a night on the dance floor).

3. I have a horrid, rotten, miserable cold. I can’t breathe, I’m coughing like crazy, my throat hurts, I can’t taste anything, my muscles ache, my skin HURTS. I hate being sick. I hate that Pumpkin is bringing home every preschool cootie, and I hate that I catch every preschool cootie she coughs in my face. This could be a very long winter.

4. In guitar lesson today, I started learning Fur Elise (where’s the little doohickey to put the funky whosy-whatsit’s over the u ?). I have tried four notes of it and then we ran out of time, so we’ll see if I can handle it. I look forward to being able to play it, sounding like the ice cream truck and messing my kids up.

5. The Princess finally has her VERY FIRST LOOSE TOOTH. She’s thrilled. It’s not that loose, but she can’t get her fingers off that sucker. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

6. Every time I’m sick, I think of “The Devil Wears Prada” when the chick says she’s just one stomach flu away from her goal weight. I’ve had two bites of toast with butter for dinner, and gave the rest to Pumpkin. I’m quite sure that I’m hungry on top of feeling pukey, but nothing sounds even remotely good. So, today I’m running on a bowl of cereal, two slices of toast, a latte, a bagel (in a rare moment of feelin’ good, I scarfed it down before guitar) and then two more bites of toast. Yes, I stick to carbs when I feel yucky.

7. This week, a friend of mine suggested our daughters become email penpals. And thus began The Princess getting HER VERY FIRST email address (there’s one for the memory book, right?) and she has a friend she loves to write to. It’s very cool. The downside? It takes her about thirty minutes to type two sentences.

8. Hmm. Maybe I’ll see if I can drink a Coke Zero without feeling nasty. Not that that even remotely helps the whole nourishment thing, but… (Yeah, I have no idea why I’m not drinking more water.)… maybe it will help settle my stomach. [Note: Wow. Even Coke Zero is a big loser today. UGH!]

9. Do you guys remember when I was this sick last year? Looks like I’m a little ahead of schedule this year. Poor Pumpkin has been sick too – but I don’t think she has the queasiness (because she hasn’t stopped eating in days). Her cough, though? It’s gruesome.

10. I took a break from “Catch-22” and am now reading “Lord of the Flies”. It always amazes me the sheer number of books I haven’t read. These “classics” that supposedly everyone has read – I haven’t. I’m a voracious reader – but apparently, I still have a lot of work to do.

7Things

I got tagged yesterday by TJ for the 7Things Meme. Of course, I was derailed by Delurking Day and the fact that I am coming down with a nasty cold that makes my throat feel like, I don’t know, something that feels very bad.

So here is Seven things about me you may or may not know (and may or may not care if you know):

1. I am petrified of seeming stupid. I was an honor student in high school, went to a college that is not easy to get into, and yet because I don’t spout off statistics and other assorted brainiac stuff all the time, I feel like people don’t realize that I’m not an idiot. I realize my reality television and fluff reading habits sorta take away from the perception of being a smart woman, but I AM. I would so much rather be perceived as smart or funny than anything based on appearance.

2. HAVING SAID THAT, that is why I don’t usually spend a ton of time getting ready in the morning. Sure, I have days where I go all out and get gussied up – spend time on the hair and makeup and really “Trying” – but fact is, I’m not really into vanity so much that I want to spend all that time trying to be beautiful. I’d rather be sleeping.

3. I almost never order something off a menu exactly as is. I have to tweak at least one thing, nearly every time. I feel like Sally from “When Harry Met Sally” every time I order something. For example, I love Caeser salads. I hate Caeser dressing. It’s not unusual for me to order a caeser salad, hold the caeser dressing, with balsamic vinaigrette on the side. (YES, I’m that obnoxious person).

4. There is no better way to get into my good graces than through music. I love when people tell me they’ve heard a song that reminds them of me, or tells me of a song I had never heard of and introduces me to something I never knew til then.

5. I wonder often if the decisions I’m making are the right ones. My mother told me the other day that I was “very decisive” and that my sister is not like me in that way. I don’t perceive myself to be decisive AT ALL. I have a very hard time making decisions. I have a very hard time weighing pros and cons and I think often I get crippled by inertia because it’s easier to not move than it is to make change. (All this despite the fact that I’m notorious for spouting: “Go big or go home!” to others).

6. I really hate where I live. I hate small towns – I hate the feel, the vibe and the lack of energy. I feel like deep inside I’m more of a city girl and I sometimes wonder if I’m going to drown in the smell of manure and the fact that this town only has one stoplight.

7. Of all the friends I was tight with three years ago, only one is still a close part of my life. I thought I would be sadder about that – or even that I SHOULD BE sadder about it, but quite honestly, I’m not. I think accepting that people change and grow apart is important and I’ve definitely learned a lot about seeing people’s true colors and showing my own.

Alrighty…. Tagging… Crap.

I hate tagging people. If you want to do it, just comment and tell me to come check you out.

Happy DeLurking Day

Today is a very special day. Not as cool as Christmas but way cooler than Groundhog’s Day, today is DELURKING DAY. That means I encourage you – I strenuously encourage you – to leave me a comment to say hi and introduce yourself. If you’ve got a blog of your own, I’d love to check it out.

Happy Delurking Day!

Doing The Best I Can

As I type this, it’s been an hour since The Princess was tucked into bed and about 90 minutes since she and I wrapped up a long chat curled up together on the couch, her in my lap and me with my arms wrapped around her, cradling her like the baby she used to be.

She’d been touchy this evening, and when I wouldn’t answer her question while I was on the phone, she burst into tears. Both of my girls are emotional (in fact, Pumpkin is crying as I type this – she has a cold and is too congested to sleep) – The Princess probably more prone to tears and crying jags than Pumpkin, and though I am glad that she expresses her emotion, sometimes I just don’t know if she’s crying because there’s something bubbling beneath the surface that is eating at her or if she’s just ticked off because she didn’t get her own way (that happens sometimes).

When I asked her to sit with her sister on the couch to make a quick “happy birthday” video for my dad and she dissolved into tears, it was quite obvious that something was really on her mind. As prone to tears as she might be, it was an odd reaction. We sat on the couch for awhile, me letting her know that she could talk to me, her sniffling and wiping the tears off her face.

Finally, what it came down to is that we’re too busy. By we, I mean me and the girls (it’s tax season, so yeah, it’s me and the girls). This afternoon, The Princess got a last minute phone call from a buddy asking her to come play as I was trying to get us out the door for another wedding-related errand for my sister. I was already late and the unexpected stop frazzled me. I was also frazzled by the disappearance of Pumpkin’s coat, The Princess asking if she could go select some toys to take along, and my mother calling me to ask me why I hadn’t left my house yet. By the time I’d herded the kids into the garage to pile them into the van, my nerves were frayed. I rushed them out of the house. I rushed them into the car. I was hurried and short with my words and as we were walking out of the house, I slammed the door behind me.

And hours later, it was still bothering her. Hours later she still felt like I had been upset and that it was her fault and she was sad.

I felt devastated.

I talked to her about how we were trying to do too much at once. I talked about how I am just trying to get everything done. I told her how we’re all doing the best that we can – but that sometimes I need to be reminded to chill out and to take a deep breath. I promised her that if she can talk to me and not yell or get stomp-y, I WILL listen. That I love her and I’m sorry for making her feel bad. And I also told her that tax season is poopy (Really, that’s what I said). That it’s a very busy time for our family and things get a little bit harder and so that we need to remember to try harder to use our words rather than have our mom-sized hissy fits.

At that point, she was over it. She burst into giggles as soon as I said tax season was “poopy” (She’s six and she IS her father’s daughter, so bathroom humor is HILARIOUS).

It’s hard, though. I have always been the type to go through my life feeling like though I had friends and family who loved and cared about me, I never really made an impact on anyone – that I never really left an imprint. And that’s not to say “Oh poor Sarah” – but to say that I felt that everyone’s lives go on, and nothing was dependent on me or my moods or my actions or my words. Having children is a reminder all the time how much I can affect someone. I have never truly felt it so much as I do right now.

Thursday Ten: Buried In The Classics Edition

1. First – some Blissfully Domestic stuff. BD is up for a WEBLOG award for Best Parenting Blog. You can vote once per day. One vote per computer… so,
9. FINALLY! Guitar lesson today! It’s been far too long. Felt good to be back.

10. Procrastinate much? I am now nearly 6 months late in getting Pumpkin’s 3 year pictures done. Guess I better get myself together.

98 Days Of Tax Season Left on the Calendar…

Tax season?

It sucks.

Rest assured, this isn’t some brilliant new revelation – I’m not new here, I’ve been through this a time or two but this is the first week of tax season hours and I’m trying to get acclimated and really all I want to do is curl up on the couch and read a book (Current read: Catch-22). Hubby has finally come to the realization that he needs to park his car in the driveway rather than in the garage, as the garage door opening and closing at 5:30 in the morning wakes up Pumpkin and me (The Princess has the farthest room from the garage and loves sleep far too much to be bothered by something as silly as a LOUD GARAGE DOOR, and will almost always sleep through it). You all know how I feel about waking up before 6 a.m.

Then there’s the fact that it’s usually just me and the kids at dinner time. Hard to get giddy about cooking meals for two kids who think my cooking is less-than-fabulous.

Wait a minute. I should check my archives. I think I wrote this same post last year.

Sigh.

And here we go again.

And I Do The Dance of Joy

Christmas break? Oh, it’s sooooooooooo over. And I’m happy. Was happy to make lunch for The Princess today (PB in the shape of a heart because this mom? Shows her love, even in sandwiches). Was happy to make blueberry muffins and to watch the clock and send her out for the bus and to get things in order again.

On the flip side of that coin though, when I got up at nearly 7 a.m. Hubby was already gone because we’re in tax season now. You all remember how it goes – right? Sarah is a tax season widow until April 15. Already planning my April 16 day at the spa. Gotta keep my eye on the prize, right?

I Have No Idea What Day It is…

Christmas break is messing me up.

For the past two weeks I have remained in a pretty constant state of confusion as to what day it is. Last week, I felt like I had three Sundays in a row, and this weekend is probably shaping up for the same kind of, “Huuuuh? What day is it?” mentality.

The downside is that after this weekend, we are kicking right into tax season.

It just keeps getting better.

Thursday Ten – Why, HELLO 2009 Edition…

1. Um, yeah: Happy New Year! (State the obvious first – and now I can be just like every other blog you’ll read today). 2008 is over and I’m excited to see what ’09 has in store for me.

2. Today is the first day of my 101 List. I’ve done nothing so far. I started reading a new book, and eventually that will be 1 of the 250 I said I would read in the next 1001 days. Yes, 250 books. It’s not unreasonable. But, the inevitable part is that a fair amount of those books will be fluff.

3. New music this week: “On the Way Down” and “True” by Ryan Cabrera, “Sounds So Good” by Ashton Shepherd, “Silver Lining” by Rilo Kiley, “You Are the Best Thing” Ray LaMontagne, “Use Someone” and “Closer” by Kings of Leon, “Without You” by Hinder, and “I Melt With You” as covered by Jason Mraz. (Guess who’s burning through Christmas iTunes gift cards?).

4. My sister got engaged yesterday! She came over today to flash her ring at me and to ask me to be in the wedding. I may be the oldest bridesmaid EVER.

5. For those of you in blended family situations, we’re looking for contributors for a new channel on Blissfully Domestic – let me know if you’re interested.

6. I’m eating a candy cane. I love candy canes. I am thinking about how good it would taste in a huge mug of hot cocoa. Except… I just finished my candy cane. Gonna have to open another one, or hold that peppermint cocoa thought for another day.

7. We picked up Playground for the Wii today. The Princess is totally Queen of the Wii.

8. I miss guitar lessons. I’ve barely picked up my guitar. I need practice and I am not sure why I haven’t.

9. I’m really ready for Winter Break to be over. I miss the routine of getting things done. I miss the quiet. I know The Princess is loving her endless Wii hours, but I know she’s missing her friends too. Pumpkin needs some time to be around crazy amounts of kids doing circle time things. We’ve actually had a fun time, and we’ve done some fun stuff – but I’m ready to get things done and have some downtime.

10. Wow. Yeah, I’ve got nothing else. Happy new year – hope 2009 brings you joy and happiness, and other stuff.