1. It’s been a very long day. Started with my grandpa having severe bleeding this morning, his blood pressure dropped to about 50/40 and he passed out several times – twice at 2 a.m. and once in the morning when my aunt arrived at the hospital.
2. With no kids home today, I went to be with my family – the doctor ordered two units of blood for my grandpa, and the difference it made and how quickly was amazing. I have much love for people who donate blood – today I got to see the difference that it makes, and I’m grateful on behalf of my grandpa that people have taken the time to donate.
3. When I left the hospital, I came home and baked peanut butter cookies for my grandma with the plan to bring my girls up later to see him. My sister kept texting me from the hospital, telling me how he was so excited about seeing my kids. He was telling everyone that my daughters would be there.
4. Guitar lesson was fantastic – I started learning “O Holy Night” and Bach’s “Minuet in G”. I’m glad I got to have 30 minutes of time just for myself today. I have been go-go-go all day and I needed to turn off the part of my brain that was stressing out, and instead focus on chords, strumming patterns and my fingers.
5. We arrived to the hospital at 6:30 and grandpa was in his colonoscopy so the girls and I waited with my mom, cousins, aunt, and uncle. I have seen so much family today – someone pointed out to me today, “You had four generations there today. Do you realize how amazing it is?” Yeah – it is, isn’t it?
6. When the gastroenterologist finally came out, he said that there’s still a lot of bleeding, but today’s massive loss of blood is likely caused from the site of the biopsy in my grandfather’s stomach that same doc did yesterday. My grandfather is on a drug for his congestive heart failure and it thins the blood – so when he bleeds, he bleeds. They have since stopped the drug – downside, that could have an impact on his heart.
7. They are moving my grandfather to ICU, which meant that after two hours of waiting I took the girls home without seeing great-grandpa. They are also doing a bleed study yet tonight, and possibly an angiogram if the bleed test is positive. The downside to the angiogram is that the contrast that they inject into his body could mess with his already struggling kidneys.
8. I drove my kids home, explaining to The Princess in the parking lot that Great-Grandpa has a cut in his stomach and the doctors are trying to figure out if they can make it stop bleeding and if they can fix him and make him better. I then drove home with the radio up, grateful for the darkness so they wouldn’t see me crying.
9. I wish I was with my family right now. I brought the kids home to put them in bed because Hubby is at a softball game, but I really wanted to stay and be with my family and be there when my grandpa came out of his test. I really hate that I’m home. I feel really useless, and it’s dumb because I wouldn’t be doing anything if I was at the hospital – just waiting like I am now.
10. I can’t imagine a world without my grandfather in it, and I’m really trying to keep positive because he’s one of the most amazing men I have ever met. He is the most adorable 88-year old guy on the planet. He’s funny, and charming, and I have never met anyone who doesn’t love the hell out of him. So, for those of you who are inclined to send positive thoughts, prayers, mojo, whatever… his way. Please do.
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