Archives for October 2008

And Some Random

(I took my Whine Hat off)

My grandfather looks fabulous today! He got to eat a bit of a modified liquid diet – tomato soup and ice cream. AND – they gave him his coffee back! He’s over the moon psyched. They are talking about sending him home in the next few days.

I am going to be doing some research about donating blood – and trying to coordinate some family members to go and try to “replace” what Grandpa has used in the past week. I believe they’ve given him six units of blood. I really hate donating blood – and usually my iron is too low and I can’t. But I’ll try. I do love the part in the end where they give you cookies.

It’s my birthday week – Thursday is the big day. I’m just telling you ahead of time. Don’t say no one told you.

So, Prison Break wasn’t on tonight because of baseball. That really sucks. I hate baseball. Instead, I flipped to Bravo and watched what I guess was a repeat of the Rachel Zoe Project. Meh.

Did I mention my birthday was coming up?

Why Parents Don’t Want to Volunteer

At the beginning of the school year, I guilted myself into volunteering in The Princess’s classroom at school. Now, I’m a work-at-home-mom (WAHM), and three days a week I’ve got Pumpkin home with me too. My schedule is erratic and I honestly did not want to be tied into a set schedule. I realize the teacher needs to know when people will be there, and I’m not a moron – I get it and respect that. But… My god.

I couldn’t make it in to the classroom on last Tuesday. I was wrapping up my battle with my cold bug and didn’t want to pass it on to the kids. I had a deadline for work I was aiming to hit. And then I got the phone call about my grandfather. My next scheduled day in the classroom was two weeks later (I’m on an every-other-Tuesday morning schedule). Nope – instead, the teacher moved up my Tuesday to THIS WEEK TUESDAY. You know, because I wasn’t there last week.

Sorry. It doesn’t work that way for me. I do not have infinite amounts of free time. I have a dental appointment tomorrow (the girls went today – but I seriously hate having to try to pay attention to what they’re doing when I’ve got that icky bitewing X-ray cardboard stuffed in my mouth). I’ve got work-work. My Tuesdays aren’t interchangeable. Emailed Teach and said, “My calendar shows I’m due in on the 21st – I hope that still works for you.” Got a short note back, “It’s fine. Does that mean you’ll be in on 11/4?” Siiiiiiiiiigh. Yes.

Y’know, I opted to volunteer to be active in my kid’s schooling and to be involved and be PRESENT. The last time I went in, the teacher scheduled me to arrive ten minutes before the kids all took off for thirty minutes of gym class, and I spent the time cutting maple leaves out of construction paper in the school office because there was nothing else for me to do. Now, I’m scheduled during what they call “team time” – when my daughter won’t even BE in that classroom because she’s in the highest reading level and that meets with a different teacher. So, I’m doing this for my kid… and she’ll probably never even see me?

I know that teachers do an incredible amount of work with our kids to make them the incredible people that they are. I’m not an ungrateful parent. I realize that they don’t always get the recognition they deserve and that they certainly don’t get paid enough (don’t even ask me what I would want to get paid for spending a day with 24 six-year-olds). But, parent volunteers aren’t getting paid either. It’s not our JOB to volunteer. It’s an extra. And just as I surely acknowledge the teacher’s positive contribution to my life and the life of my kiddo…. well… I’d like her to acknowledge mine as well. Maybe with a, “Hey thank you!” or some flexibility when essentially I’m juggling to help her out.

I am so not the classroom volunteer kind of mom. I’m not sure what the hell I was thinking.

He Got All Fancy For Me Today

Today while I was at the hospital, Grandpa was sitting up in a chair by the window bathed in the unbelievable October sun (80 degrees here today, unbelievable). He shaved and then asked for a comb to comb his hair, and then sighed when he was done, saying how much better he felt just having performed those basic hygiene rituals. Who could blame him?

He was moved out of ICU at one this morning (sleep? Who needs it? Or as grandpa says, “When they woke me up to ask if I wanted a sleeping pill, they also told me they were moving me out of ICU.”). He didn’t mind the middle of the night journey – he was relieved to move, as is the rest of the family, relieved that he’s no longer considered in need of “intensive care”.

The liquid diet is not pleasing his stomach – so after begging for food, he really doesn’t want any of it, but he’s drinking tea like a fiend and that is making him happy. A nurse came in to check his IV sites today and got nervous when she realized that she’d have to replace both – knowing that most patients get grumpy about the removal and getting poked. Not him, though. “Do what you have to do,” he said. Never grumped or fussed. She was amazed. Meanwhile, I hung out and watched the whole thing, prompting my grandmother to suggest maybe I should go to nursing school. Being able to watch someone jab needles into someone and actually being able to do it yourself – well, two entirely different things.

I started my day with a walk by the river. The air was brisk when I ventured out – though as I mentioned above, it’s warmed up considerably. The leaves are turning color and were raining down on the trail – it was serene. After being hyped up on chaos, the fact that there’s been quite a bit of serenity infused into my weekend has been good.

Speaking of serenity, I stopped on my way home from the hospital to pick up a few things at the store – one of them being Tootsie Pops. I just wanted a cherry Tootsie Pop in the worst way. I got home, opened the bag, and found… no cherry. No orange. No blue raspberry. Just chocolate, raspberry and grape and ONE pomegranate Tootsie Pop. WTF, Tootsie Pop people?! I’m guessing I’ll be heading back to Costco for the obscenely large 100-count box, because I’m so disappointed! When did they decide not to make cherry anymore?

Just So Y’all Know…

I spent a good chunk of time at the hospital today. My grandpa is in excellent spirits, though a little pissed off that they are depriving him of coffee still (no, he doesn’t much care that he hasn’t had real food since Tuesday, but give him that coffee quick-fast-and-in-a-hurry because he’s getting a little itchy for it). He remains in ICU this evening, for observation they say, though I have to say I have not seen so little observing done as I saw (didn’t see?) today. And throughout the day, my grandfather’s doc never once made an appearance. Though, as my best friend said, it was a pretty nice day – maybe he was out golfing.

I’ll be back up there tomorrow, and hopefully there will be progress and healing and some insight from a medical professional.

In the meantime… I’ve received a lot of support from people lately and wanted to make sure everyone knows how much I appreciate it, how much my family appreciates it. The emails, texts, voice mails, calls, offers to bring diet Coke up to my mom in the hospital (because she’s a lil’ bit addicted), the funky messages via Facebook. Without a doubt, I have such amazing, caring people in my life – and I truly feel lucky about that. It’s a nice feeling – especially since I have a tendency to mope when things get rough. I seem to have surrounded myself with awesome and caring people – and if I forget to thank any of you who have done any of those things I said, please know that it’s made a difference to me. (I’m such a mush).

And since I’ve been typing….My mom just called. The gastroenterologist finally showed up. Grandpa will be moved to another floor tomorrow. They’ll start a liquid diet tomorrow. Coffee is a no go (like…forever) with the ulcer, but true to his typical upbeat self, Grandpa said, “Well, i suppose I can start drinking tea.” (Have I mentioned how much I adore him? ‘Cause I do). They’ll do the liquid diet and slowly get him back up to “real food” – in quotes because remember what I said about hospital food? Every time I walk past that cafeteria, I think it smells like boiled shoes. I’m thrilled to have good news and I will be back in the hospital tomorrow, hopefully NOT in ICU.

And, lest I get too grateful… Pumpkin just called me up to her room where I tucked her in forty minutes ago and she wrote all over her body with ball point pen, so I guess I have a three year old to scrub.

Lightening the Mood – A Friday Fill In

To momentarily distract from my family hooey, a Friday Fill In

(My answers in ORANGE).

1. One of the best concerts/movies/plays I saw that I didn’t really think I’d like was John Mayer – I hated his radio stuff, but after seeing him live, I’m a convert. He’s an amazing guitarist.

2. Hungarian meatball stew is a recipe I recently made that was delicious.

3. It’s time for my birthday week.

4. Fall weather is quite refreshing.

5. If I never hear the word bailout again, it will be too soon.

6. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to The Princess sleeping over at a friend’s house, tomorrow my plans include finding the Michigan game on TV, and Sunday I want to sleep in.

Thursday Ten, Long Day Edition

1. It’s been a very long day. Started with my grandpa having severe bleeding this morning, his blood pressure dropped to about 50/40 and he passed out several times – twice at 2 a.m. and once in the morning when my aunt arrived at the hospital.

2. With no kids home today, I went to be with my family – the doctor ordered two units of blood for my grandpa, and the difference it made and how quickly was amazing. I have much love for people who donate blood – today I got to see the difference that it makes, and I’m grateful on behalf of my grandpa that people have taken the time to donate.

3. When I left the hospital, I came home and baked peanut butter cookies for my grandma with the plan to bring my girls up later to see him. My sister kept texting me from the hospital, telling me how he was so excited about seeing my kids. He was telling everyone that my daughters would be there.

4. Guitar lesson was fantastic – I started learning “O Holy Night” and Bach’s “Minuet in G”. I’m glad I got to have 30 minutes of time just for myself today. I have been go-go-go all day and I needed to turn off the part of my brain that was stressing out, and instead focus on chords, strumming patterns and my fingers.

5. We arrived to the hospital at 6:30 and grandpa was in his colonoscopy so the girls and I waited with my mom, cousins, aunt, and uncle. I have seen so much family today – someone pointed out to me today, “You had four generations there today. Do you realize how amazing it is?” Yeah – it is, isn’t it?

6. When the gastroenterologist finally came out, he said that there’s still a lot of bleeding, but today’s massive loss of blood is likely caused from the site of the biopsy in my grandfather’s stomach that same doc did yesterday. My grandfather is on a drug for his congestive heart failure and it thins the blood – so when he bleeds, he bleeds. They have since stopped the drug – downside, that could have an impact on his heart.

7. They are moving my grandfather to ICU, which meant that after two hours of waiting I took the girls home without seeing great-grandpa. They are also doing a bleed study yet tonight, and possibly an angiogram if the bleed test is positive. The downside to the angiogram is that the contrast that they inject into his body could mess with his already struggling kidneys.

8. I drove my kids home, explaining to The Princess in the parking lot that Great-Grandpa has a cut in his stomach and the doctors are trying to figure out if they can make it stop bleeding and if they can fix him and make him better. I then drove home with the radio up, grateful for the darkness so they wouldn’t see me crying.

9. I wish I was with my family right now. I brought the kids home to put them in bed because Hubby is at a softball game, but I really wanted to stay and be with my family and be there when my grandpa came out of his test. I really hate that I’m home. I feel really useless, and it’s dumb because I wouldn’t be doing anything if I was at the hospital – just waiting like I am now.

10. I can’t imagine a world without my grandfather in it, and I’m really trying to keep positive because he’s one of the most amazing men I have ever met. He is the most adorable 88-year old guy on the planet. He’s funny, and charming, and I have never met anyone who doesn’t love the hell out of him. So, for those of you who are inclined to send positive thoughts, prayers, mojo, whatever… his way. Please do.

So, I’m Bordering On Annoyed

Tonight, I went to visit my grandpa and to pick up my grandmother at the hospital so that we could do some retail therapy damage at Macy’s (my grandmother and mom have the same philosophy: When the going gets tough, the tough gets shopping. My philosophy is different: when other people wanna buy you stuff, why not let them?). I got to the hospital shortly after my grandfather returned from his endoscopy procedure. After a few minutes, the nurse comes in and says, “I looked at the report, and I can’t really read the doctor’s handwriting, but it looks like it says ‘ulcer’.”

Um, maybe you might want to zip it?

The thing is, I spent a few years working in hospitals, and I’m reasonably sure that nurses aren’t supposed to be handing out diagnoses. Just like when you work in an emergency room, you aren’t supposed to tell another patient to not worry about the girl puking into a bucket, she’s not contagious, she’s just really really drunk (Um, did I say that?) – there are certain things you shouldn’t say. Particularly if she can’t read the writing.

Don’t get me wrong. We would all love for it to be an ulcer and not the return of the stomach cancer he battled over 20 years ago. Yes, an ulcer is preferable to cancer in our minds. But please don’t say anything unless you know. Please let the doctors do their jobs.

My grandmother is so petrified that it’s cancer that she is just convinced of it. Apparently this is how the cancer was discovered 24 years ago. She’s definitely struggling.

My grandparents have a very odd relationship – grandma is loud and over bearing and grandpa often ignores her (he purposely leaves his hearing aid out sometimes so he doesn’t have to listen to her), but before grandma and I left, they kissed each other goodbye several times, and I am not sure I’ve ever seen them so affectionate towards each other. My sister said, “WOW! I’ve never seen you guys all smoochy!” My grandpa said to her, “You’re young yet. You don’t know just what life is all about.”

Tomorrow is the colonoscopy, and the docs are already saying that he’ll need to have surgery to deal with the clogged artery before the end of the month. The Princess wrote the cutest letter for me to take to him tomorrow (I’ll retype with her spelling):

Dear Grat Grapa
Form: (Princess)

I hope you are feeling beter. I hope you get out soon.
Love (Princess)

Made me all misty-eyed. She covered it with flower and SpongeBob stickers. He’s gonna love it.

From Mellow To Crazy with One Call

Yesterday, the school bus came to pick up The Princess. I then buckled Pumpkin into her carseat and took her to daycare, where she would be for the day while I came home and got massive amounts of work done (And I had massive amounts of work to do, including one deadline for noon). I then ventured over to Starbucks for a cappuccino to start my day with, and while I was waiting for the drinky-girl to make my drink, my cell rang. It was my mom calling to tell me my grandpa was in the hospital.

Apparently Monday night, he passed out and fell, smacking his head on the way down. From the ER he was admitted, with the docs saying that he had an internal bleed. Meanwhile my grandpa was swearing he had a heart attack, as he knows what those feel like. His blood pressure was pretty low (my mom was freaked out about it, but to be honest, his blood pressure was about 96/52 – and at my last doctor’s appointment, my blood pressure was 98/60 – so maybe we’re just lightweights).

I rushed home to get my work project done, finishing it in record time. I then headed up to the hospital to be with my family. My mom and her husband were there, as was my sister. Grandpa was in fantastic spirits, though he was confined to his bed and being transfused with a unit of blood (so glad I don’t get skeeved out at the site of blood). Though he was in a fantastic mood, he looked so small and tiny in his hospital bed, and it made me sad. Sad because he looked frail. Sad because he’s getting older. Sad because I really adore my grandfather and I want him to be okay.

He kept saying, “You know, I’m going to be around for a LONG time. I’m not going anywhere.” I brought him balloons like he was a kid and it made him smile. We sat and he talked about how wonderful my daughters are, which made me smile.

When my aunt brought my grandmother back up, I ventured downstairs to the hospital cafeteria with my mom and her hubby, and my sis and her boyfriend for lunch. Mom kept saying, “For hospital food, it’s really good.” (This is the same hospital my mom just spent a ton of time at when my brother was recently ill). My years of working in hospitals and eating hospital food on a daily basis only cemented what yesterday’s lunch confirmed: “good hospital food”? Ain’t no such thing.

After lunch, we sat with my grandpa a little longer while waiting for the GI doctors to show up and work their doctor-talking magic, but by the time I left about forty minutes later, they still hadn’t come by. I ventured back home to get more stuff done, and about an hour later my mom texted to me to tell me that the doctors believe that the bleed is a small one, but it is causing my grandfather to become anemic which is a huge part of the problem. He’ll have a few procedures (one today, one tomorrow) to try to locate that bleed. However, an even bigger part of the equation is that his carotid artery is 90% blocked, and so once he’s home, he’ll work with a vascular surgeon to schedule its repair.

I’ll probably take the girls up tonight to see him, and I’ll go again tomorrow when I’m sans kids. Hoping he’ll be home tomorrow night or Friday. In the meantime, I’m just thinking positive thoughts and hoping for his speedy recovery.

Selling Your Kids on eBay Is Probably Frowned Upon

There are some days that my kids can be screaming terrors and I, with my limitless patience, can roll with the punches, unphased by the obnoxiousness. And then there are days like today where the whining, whinging and nit picking gets to me and my “endless” stashes of patience are more like patience? What patience?

Tonight after dinner, both girls took good scrubby baths and got all scrubbed up and ventured downstairs to watch some television. A friend of The Princess’s came over to see if she wanted to play, so she dashed upstairs to get some play clothes on (Note to my neighbors: Why are y’all sending your kid over to get my kid at 7 p.m.? Note to myself: Why did you let her go?). She played with her friend until I yelled for her from the back deck at 7:40, and when she came home, she wanted to make a peanut butter sandwich for her bedtime snack.

Problem? No bread except the loaf in the freezer. Whine, whine, whine about frozen bread. I told her that she needed to pick something else, and that for whining, she’d be going to bed five minutes early. Pumpkin started hounding her older sister, “Make me some too!” (The alternate snack being peanut butter on graham crackers).

And that’s when The Princess, my beloved six-year-old said to her little sister: “You are soooo annoying!” To which Pumpkin (in her glorious copy-cat phase) repeated, “YOU are so annoying!” Then The Princess hit her little sister. Then Pumpkin hit her big sister.

And then I proceeded to lose any miniscule shred of patience that was hovering in the far recesses of my brain. I bumped up bedtime thirty minutes and The Princess essentially got so extremely pissed off that she was stomping and whining (you know, in that voice that only dogs and parents can hear). Pumpkin started crying about her freakin’ graham crackers. And me? I sat on the couch, cracked open my book and said, “I’m done with you both. Eat your graham crackers and then GO. TO. BED.” (I honestly can’t send my kids to bed hungry – they are like I am, and hunger escalates irrational behavior).

I sat on the couch, tuned them out and Hubby came downstairs. He tried to talk to The Princess and she tried one of those “talk to the hand” gestures at him. He yelled that if she ever did that again, he’d ground her for a month (Ugh! You know who suffers when kids are grounded for long extended times like that? ME! ME! ME!). The Princess stomped upstairs, crying and hiccuping and doing that horrible breathing like she was hyperventilating.

A few minutes later, I went up to knock on her door. She was holding it closed. I knocked again, “It’s mommy and you need to let me in. I want to talk to you.”

“You already talked to me!” she sobbed.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her down to sit on the floor with me. She squirmed and wriggled and tried to resist me. “You know that even when I don’t like the way you are acting, I love you very much?” I told her.

“Uh (deep gasping breath) huh…” she said.

“You need to remember that in our house, it’s not okay to hit people.”

“She hit me first!” (I was watching and know this is not the case, but let it go.)

“Even if someone hits us first, it’s still not okay to hit. And Pumpkin is going to bed early too – because just like we don’t want you hitting her, it’s not okay for her to hit you.”

“Well, if hitting is wrong and we’re not supposed to do it, then WHY DID THEY INVENT IT?”

And that’s where I just squeezed her a little harder and gave her a big smooch on the noggin. She then started rambling about mosquitos suck our blood so they can have baby mosquitos that will also suck our blood and just this neverending lifetime of mosquito suckage. I am not really sure where she was going with it, to be honest.

I’ve just read her a story and tucked her in. Some days, being a mom is the most gratifying job on the planet, and some days it’s so hard I wonder who the jackass is who forgot to give me the parenting manual when my kids were born.

Five Minute Chocolate Cake

I saw this posted somewhere, I guess it’s also been circulating around the internet – well, I love chocolate, I figured I’d give it a whirl. This is one of those quick things you can make when you’re craving chocolate, but don’t want to go through the ordeal of a massive baking project.

In a coffee cup, mix the following ingredients:
4 Tbsp cake flour (or about 3 1/2 Tbsp regular old flour)
4 Tbsp sugar (I do a bit less than this and it’s fine)
2 Tbsp unsweetened baking cocoa
1 egg
3 Tbsp Milk (I use skim and it works fine, so I’m guessing it doesn’t matter)
3 Tbs oil
Small splash vanilla
Small handful chocolate chips (optional)

Stir well and microwave for three minutes – this time could vary depending on your microwave. The cake will puff up over the top of the cup – but once it’s out of the microwave, should deflate somewhat. This can serve two (face it, it’s not health food…) or one. I think it would go really well with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream (I don’t have any) or sprinkled with powdered sugar (I don’t have any) or topped with whipped cream (I don’t have any).

But, it’s yummy. And mine should have cooled off by now, so I’m gonna Publish this post and go eat my cake.

P.S. It’s ugly cake. Really ugly. So if yours looks funny, you’ve done it right.