The Princess was never the stereotypical two-year-old, so imagine my shock at having a completely to-the-book two-year-old. Tantrums? Check. Fierce independent streak? Check. Defiance? Check.
Holy moly.
I have realized that I need to find different ways to parent Pumpkin than I am used to from her older sister. With The Princess, if we even slightly raised our voices, she wigged out and did what was expected of her. We weren’t yelling, mind you. It was just the slight increase of volume was enough to set her on the right path. Pumpkin? Huh. No. You raise your voice, she’ll laugh at you.
Admittedly, having my child laugh in my face when I tell her not to climb up the shelves in the pantry isn’t exactly the response I desire, so I realized that something’s gotta change. (By the way, this kid climbs on EVERYTHING! Her training potty has been largely unused except in the capacity as a step stool – she drags it around everywhere and uses it to get an extra foot of height to reach the counter, grab the mail, run off with our mail, and…. sit in the corner and OPEN IT!
So, I’ve started counting at her. I hate counting at my kids. I really do. I count to five. I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do when I get to five. I don’t believe in spanking (that’s fine if you do, but… it’s not for me). Today, she was climbing to get something off the counter, and I started counting. I got to three. She called to me, “I did it already!” It must be sinking in somewhat.
Today, I took the girls to a playgroup. She hasn’t been around so many other kids very frequently. I think it was a good thing for her to be around other kids. She did really well, and I was pleasantly surprised. I’m hoping to get through the Terrible Twos with a smile on my face.
About sarah
Hey, I’m not a mom, so it’s not like I really have any business opening my mouth here, but…..
I was talking with a children’s therapist the other day about feeling guilty that I’d essentially made the little boy I watch puke because I insisted he take a nap, instead of taking time to find out what he wanted. She encouraged me to build “love bonds” with him instead of “fear bonds”. (I grew up with spankings and the idea that we towed the line with no arguments, so I tended to think that way when dealing with children….that is, until I got puked on. That made me want to change my philosophy in a hurry!) When I asked more questions, she said that when kids say no to something, they are also saying yes to something, and that it’s possible to find out what they are saying yes to. She gave me a series of cds to listen to of a parenting conference she taught. While I obviously can’t send you those, she did mention that a lot of her principles are very similar to Marshall Rosenberg’s NonViolent Communication book. I haven’t plunked down the money to get the book yet, but it sounds like an amazing and very helpful book for both dealing with children and with any relationship.
So, if I haven’t helped you, just blame it on the fact that I’m not a mom yet. But if getting that book helps, then wonderful. In any case, I hope you survive the 2’s phase, along with all the other ones that will come your way.