I used to write a lot. I wrote poems. Short stories. Essays. I wrote letters – long letters, and not just e-mailed notes to say “hey”. Actual LETTERS.
I don’t anymore.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about that a lot. Last weekend, I found my writing portfolio from college, along with my peer feedback and my instructors’ comments. Reading some of my old works was like visiting the person I used to be. The poetry I wrote, particularly, was nearly always autobiographical, and nearly always just basically opening up my head, pouring it on the page and telling people, “This is who I am.”
The other day, I opened a new document in Word and tried to write, and I couldn’t. I don’t know if I’m just more guarded, or if I’ve forgotten how to connect my feelings with the place in my brain that puts it into words. I would type a few words and then rest my finger on the Backspace key until the words vanished and the page was blank again.
I think my new goal is to remember how to express myself. I want to be able to create again – even if just for myself. I have gone far too long without using the part of my brain that I love the most, and I need to find a way to make it work again…
About sarah
Oh, I can semi-relate to this! I wanted to be an author as a teenager. These days, I find it easier to just ramble than to express myself through my characters.
Good luck rediscovering this side of yourself!