I still maintain my stance that three is NOT a good number when it comes to playdates. It’s horribly bad, as a matter of fact. Today, The Princess invited L over to play, and they had been playing quite nicely for several hours. Until they went outside. While they were outside, OG (she of the twisted ankle) came by on her bike, and what happened then is unclear to me as I was inside. All I know is that I came outside, L was crying and my beloved Princess was stomping around acting like a jerk.
Not one to send a kid home crying, I sat them down on the front steps to talk it out, figure out what was wrong, who said what, You know – all those things a meddling mother does. Turns out OG showed up uninvited (AGAIN), OG and L started playing to the exclusion of The Princess (AGAIN), they were getting ready to leave without helping pick up (AGAIN) – and my kid snapped (AGAIN).
That’s not to say I don’t think The Princess has a valid argument – I believe when you have a guest for a playdate, if both kids made the mess, they should both clean it. Leaving without picking up (and they made a HUGE mess, by the way) isn’t fair to the host. So, I get that.
Yelling at your guest that she should go home because she’s not helping and that you don’t want to play with her anymore and that you don’t even like the Other Girl – well, that’s not so fair either.
And it made me feel rotten because L was sobbing, and my girl was stony faced and just unwilling to see any side but her own. I asked The Princess, “Wasn’t there a nicer way to ask L for her help?” And The Princess then politely said, “Will you help me pick up the toys?” L agreed, they picked up (it took a minute – two, max). The Princess apologized, L wiped her tears. But still? I felt rotten. I told The Princess, “I know you’re upset with OG comes over uninvited, but you need to use better words, rather than yell at your friend.”
L and OG walked off, and I called L’s house to fill her parents in on what happened (since I was sending their kid home with a tear-stained face). L’s stepfather said they have had this talk with L before – that she tends to get tunnel vision, plays with only one person, even if more are there. That OG tends to invite herself over, and so on.
I was cutting OG a bit of slack, because she doesn’t live in our neighborhood – she lives with her mom on the other side of the state and is just here visiting her dad. When you dont’ really know anyone, of course she’s going to glom on to the few she knows.
BUT, I just found out – she may be moving here permanently. Lord, help me.
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