Archives for July 2007

I’ve been thinking.

Occasionally, I get myself into these little funks and things just kind of nag at me and my brain tumbles around like a washer on the spin cycle. I don’t entirely know what’s got my knickers in a twist, only that they are indeed in a twist.

I love being home with my girls. I know if I was anywhere else, I’d do nothing but wish I were home. But. Somedays, I wish I had something outside the house that was MINE. Something where someone was giving me feedback, acknowledging my contribution, and letting me know that my life is not being taken for granted.

Oh, so dramatic! I know. I don’t mean to sound like that. Because to be perfectly honest, Hubby tells me how much he appreciates what I do. But. But. Sometimes I feel like I have to dig for it. Sometimes I have to say, “Boy! What a hard day!” to get someone to ask how my day was, really. And you know what? Raising kids? It ain’t easy.

I never knew, before staying home with the girls how hard it is to figure out not only what to put on the table for dinner at night – but prepare a healthful lunch too? (And I have a dependence on Macaroni & Cheese that just isn’t right – I know it barely falls into a recognized food group – sue me).

Working in an office, I got regular feedback and performance reviews, and I’m wondering if I need a Mommy Review. I feel like I’m needing someone to tell me, Hey, you’re doing alright. Mom, that dinner you made for us was super good. Mom? That art project you came up with? That was really fun.

I don’t want to dig for compliments. I just want to feel that what I do is making a difference to the people in my house. Some days, I’m just not feeling it. These days, I’m not. These days, I feel it’s taken for granted that things will get done, and messes will get cleaned up, and meals will be on the table, and diapers will be changed, and…

I dunno. Mommy needs a vacation, I think.

What a weird week it’s been with the July 4th holiday smack in the middle of the week. Wednesday felt completely like a Saturday to me, making Thursday like Monday, and today, I don’t know what I feel, though I guess it feels Friday-ish. I’m all confused!

This weekend, I’m looking forward to catching some of the Live Earth concert on Bravo. From what I’ve heard, the goal is not to raise funds, but rather to raise awareness about global warming, its impact on the planet, as well as things that we can do to reduce the effects of global warming – with amazing artists to watch, to boot. Can’t lose, right?

Admittedly, I’m a big ol’ recycling geek and have been since I was a kid. I remember learning about recycling and its merits in 5th grade, and urging my family to recycle soda cans. I finally won because of the whole “California Cash Redemption” thing – unlike Michigan (which has a 10 cent deposit on cans), at that time, California paid per pound of aluminum returned. I remember one time bringing back $200 worth of cans! My mom and stepfather split the money with me (hmmm… it was my idea – seems I should have gotten a bigger cut on that deal), so I made a nice chunk of change in addition to doing some planetary good. Win-win.

In other stuff, right now, The Princess is at what I’m not entirely sure ISN’T a birthday party for our bratty neighbor. It’s the girl’s birthday today, yes. The Princess said they were having a party, yes. But… I never SAW an invitation. Certainly no one ever mentioned it to me. It’s going to be too bad if my girl is the only one not bearing a birthday gift – but on the other hand, at least I didn’t have to go shopping for a gift for the girl who is only occasionally nice to my daughter.

Thinking about taking the girls to see “Ratatouille” this weekend. I’ve never taken Pumpkin to a movie before, and it’s supposed to be 92 degrees on Sunday – sounds like an excellent day to be sitting in a dark air-conditioned theater. Wish me luck.

Speaking of this insane heat, I just made myself a bowl of oatmeal for a snack. Yes, it’s like 80-something degrees outside right now, but oatmeal sounded good. How warped is that? This is ice cream weather, not oatmeal weather!

TGIF, folks!!

Low key Fourth. Low key is fine by me.

Since L asked: Chuck E. Cheese was actually a blast the other day. Pumpkin won an insane amount of tickets on this game (weird, I know – but it was a game that required no skill other than pushing a button, and boy did she push it at the right time – won 63 tickets in one fell swoop!). The Princess mastered skee-ball and various other rides. They had a blast. Pumpkin was eating pizza like I’d never seen her – it was insane – shoveled it right in. Both girls had a great time, and were snoozing by the time we got home (Pumpkin was out before we hit the highway, actually!).

Today also marks “Two Months Until School Starts!”. The countdown is on….

Another note: I just finished “Sammy’s Hill” by Kristin Gore. I was surprised – I really enjoyed it. Not on par with some deep thinking sorta book, but funnier than I expected. Way funnier.

Just a quick note to say YAY, my Pumpkin went potty on her potty chair for the first time today! Lately, she’s taken to wanting to wear big girl undies around the house (or “undiebutts” as we’ve taken to calling them). She’s done really well not peeing in the undies, and tonight, while she was wandering around in her undiebutts, she started tugging at the waistband. Hubby helped her pull them down, she sat on the little potty for awhile and then… Magic. Pee.

Thrilled for our little urinator, Hubby and I did our Potty Dance, a carry over from when we were potty training The Princess – the dance is a free style dance – very crazy, lots of moving and clapping and cheering. She was giddy and so were we.

Here’s hoping we’re on to something, here.

After a long week of Stepson arguing with The Princess, with Hubby and with me, I told him last night about thirty minutes before Hubby was due to take him back to Stepson’s mother’s house, “It’s almost time for you to go back to your mom’s.” To which he promptly said, “WHAT?! Already? Nooooooooooooooooooo.”

Blows my mind – kids. He really didn’t act like he was too happy to be here, but, was upset to go. Go figure.

In any case, my house is settling down again. I’m pretty rigid, pretty Type A – I get easily thrown off kilter when the dynamic changes. I’m not saying these are good qualities, but I know it’s how I am. I don’t do change well. And having one more person in your house for an extended period of time is a pretty hefty change (especially to my work load as primary home-duties person: one more person to cook for, do laundry for, clean up after). Wish I could say that it gets easier as time goes on, but I’d be lying.

So today, it’s just me and my girls and we’re doing something we’ve never done before – we’re going to Chuck E. Cheese. I’ve been there before, of course, but the girls haven’t. A good friend of ours has a cute little guy who just turned four and invited us to his party. The girls are very excited. The Princess is wearing a dressy shirt and skirt – ignoring my fashion advice that maybe shorts and t might be more comfy. She said to me, “Will I be hanging upside down? NO. So I can wear a skirt.” I’m looking forward to taking them to do something special outside of the norm – and a birthday party on Monday? That certainly distracts from the Monday blah’s. What a special day!