Yesterday, the girls and I spent the bulk of our day trying to get our groove back (As Hubby said, “Oh-kay, Stella…”). After Hubby being home for a month, post-layoff, yesterday marked his return to the workforce at a new job. Hubby, while a wonderful husband and a terrific, involved father, is not the type of man cut out for being a stay at home parent. I know this, he knows this – so it’s not a huge shock that after being home for a month, he all but sprinted out the door while I pushed him!
The girls and I, when holding down the fort sans dad, get into our own routines, have a flow of doing things, and now we’re trying to find it again. However, yesterday, we didn’t quite find the groove.
Between being off kilter with our routines, me having a wicked case of PMS, The Princess not using her “listening ears”, frigid temperatures outside, having to go outside in those frigid temps to haul The Princess to dance class – well, it was not a day of limitless patience. Oh no, I found my limit. Unfortunately.
There are days like yesterday where I feel that I spent the whole day setting boundaries and telling my girls what to do, and putting The Princess in timeout, and asking her to “PLEASE PAY ATTENTION JUST ONCE!” I feel like my patience is wiped out, my mood is shot, and at the end of the day? I feel horrible!
Admittedly, yesterday was that kind of day. By the time I went to tuck The Princess in, I felt rotten about the tone of the day. Yes, I’m the parent, and yes, it is my job to teach her the rules, and how to behave – but even though The Princess is going through a streak of non-compliance, I’m sure it would not have been as bad, had I had more patience. As I sat by her bed, I said to my Princess, “We had a rough day today, didn’t we?” She said to me, “Yeah. Sometimes I’m a big grump and sometimes you’re a big grump.”
I laughed, “I know it. Mommy’s really sorry for being so grouchy. How can we have a better day tomorrow?” We sat, and started making plans for today, and how we were going to have a better day, and try harder to use our listening ears, and be more patient, and use our inside voices. I realize I don’t remember my mom ever apologizing for having a bad day, for losing her patience. But – I do think it’s important. I am not sorry for telling The Princess to stop jumping on the sofa – but I am sorry for my tone. And my mood. I know there are more effective ways of getting through to her than a raised voice, and my lack of patience was not entirely her fault.
Today, we’re off to a great start. She’s in a fantastic mood and so am I, and we have plans to go to the library.
I think we’re getting our groove back.
About sarah
I’m loving this post. Me and my Girl have had times like this too. It’ll get back.
I am fortunate to have a mom who apologizes when she goes over the line. Even so, I still find it hard to admit when I’ve gone too far with my kids. But, I do. Somedays it feels like all I do is yell, apologize, and tell them I’ll try harder next time. I pray that when they’re grown they’ll remember that their mommy wasn’t perfect, but she tried everyday to do better for their sakes, and that they know I love them.