When It Comes to Inappropriate…

Hubby’s parents are the Queen and King of Inappropriate. I’ve said before (and will no doubt say several million more times) that I have no idea how those people produced a guy as bright, good-hearted, and just… NORMAL, like Hubby. Certainly, when it comes to my in-laws, I don’t believe they know what “normal” is.

Yesterday, we celebrated Pumpkin’s first birthday with a low-key party – mostly family, just a few friends. Hubby’s parents were there (only because we had to invite them – in my opinion, the guest list was just fine minus two). My mother-in-law tried to goad me into an argument about Hubby’s sunburned back (which, I might add, was sunburned while he was shingling her roof – and while he was shingling, she was on the “Olympic Standing There” team doing a whole fat lot of NOTHING!). My mother-in-law, who doesn’t believe in medical science, said to me, “Oh, a sunburn won’t kill him!” My snarky response (that I honestly should have just kept inside because arguing with the woman is POINTLESS!) was, “Oh yeah, that melanoma – nobody ever died from that!” Ugh.

So, this morning, I’m reading the Sunday paper and Hubby was flipping through the classifieds (no doubt looking for a cheap motorcycle because that’s what he does EVERY Sunday), and he said to me, “Do you want to hear something morbid?” I said sure, thinking he was going to tell me that someone was selling a used urn or something in the classifieds. Hubby proceeded to tell me that yesterday, while at my daughter’s birthday party, my father-in-law told Hubby that they had just made their first payment for FIL’s cremation. Who on earth would have deemed this appropriate birthday party discussion?! Clearly, these people are just not right. But, oh, they did NOT stop there. My in-laws then told Hubby that if FIL died while they were out of state (still taunting us with the promise of their cross-country move!), that Hubby and his brother might have to split a $40 fee to ship FIL’s ashes back to Michigan (you know, you can’t just Fed Ex someone’s ashes – there are rules about that kind of stuff)!

Oh. My. Freaking. Goodness.

Seriously, it was NOT that kind of party. Presents were given, cupcakes and ice cream were consumed (Note to other moms: cupcakes rock! It beat the whole having to cut the cake stuff – big time savings!), pictures were taken, and kids were smiling. But apparently, my inlaws didn’t notice that.

So what was up with the death talk? I couldn’t believe it when I heard it this morning. It definitely is in sync with everything I know about my in-laws which is that they are socially inept, boorish people with no idea what is appropriate.

(And for those who are wondering- they aren’t doing the “death layaway” for my mother-in-law because FIL says he’ll be able to afford to cremate her if she dies first – but if he goes first, she won’t be able to handle it… Yes, this WHOLE cheerful conversation took place at a one-year-old’s birthday party!).